THE DOUJINSHI PROJECT:

The Saiyan no Ouji rubbed the pristine white towel across his sweaty forehead wearily. This was quickly followed with a rub across his, likewise, sweaty neck and torso. Damp locks stuck to the back of his neck, making him quite aware of the really good shower that he so richly deserved.

A quick grunt of acknowledgement to the purple-haired young man on the kitchen table and a quick swipe of the last carton of milk from the refrigerator (drinking straight from it, knowing that the onna hated him doing that, and also earning himself a look of surprise from his audience), he snorted to himself and headed up to his quarters.

Three thousand pushups. Check. All training robots destroyed. Check. Gravity room in severe need of repair. Check. The ouji nodded to himself. All in all a pretty good workout today. He eyed his well-muscled physique while passing a hallway mirror and he smirked inwardly.

~ Take that, Kakkarrot. I bet you couldn’t brag about these muscles. Hmph! ~

Just as he was about to make the turn towards his bedroom, he spied the small booklet on the floor. His original intent had been to bypass the item, but his impeccable inner training of cleanliness, caused him to stoop down and pick the offending book up. About to toss it aside, or rather place it on the side table, his dark eyes took a quick absentminded glance over the cover…before blinking rapidly and then raising it closer to his face to make sure he hadn’t been seeing things.

~ ….The hell? ~

“For eternity…” he mumbled softly to himself. “What the hell is this supposed to be?”

He flipped the book over and over again (front and back), staring blankly at the likeness of what was supposed to be him and…and that baka…the only problem was…

“I look like a goddamn onna!”

Sure enough, the pencil drawn picture of Goku and him (forgetting to register the fact that the couple were in an embrace that was quite frankly never going to happen in his lifetime), had the slight prince dressed in what seemed to be a tight body suit with a tunic over it. His normal powerful thighs were gone and had now been replaced with long, dancer-like legs. Unconsciously, he walked back to the mirror and eyed his reflection again. Nope! No dancer like legs for him. And what is with his hair?! His hair was much longer and richer and better than that. They had him looking like he had been through a very bad fight with a barber’s scissors.

~ And naturally, Kakkarrot gets to be bigger than me. And in his super Saiyan state no less. This is embarrassing. ~

Goku was drawn to be something akin to a Greek god. His eyes blazed with a fire and desire that sent a wave of …

Vegeta quickly slammed the brakes on the mental image.

“And why am I looking at him like that? I would never look at him like that! I look so…so…needy! Urgh!! What a stupid book! And why do I have a book about myself and Kakkarrot without my permission?!”

He was about to toss it aside again, when he remembered that he hadn’t even opened the damned thing yet.

~ I bet it has some mushy, gushy, love story thing like the ones the onna reads. ~

With a feeling of nervousness that he couldn’t begin to explain, his fingers flipped open the front cover.

~ Phew! Nothing bad…yet…~

Unaware that he had been holding his breath for that long. He flipped through several more pages, eyeing the story. It seemed he was some sort of a prince…(well duh)…and he was being courted by…

~ Brolli?! ~

And then came Kakkarrot…

~ My Knight in shining armor. ~ came the snort of derision.

And then they were all having a pow wow and then Kakkarrot took him into this room and then….

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!”

~*~*~*~*~

Mirai Trunks choked on his drink and nearly fell out of his chair.

~*~*~*~*~

Bulma Briefs miscalculated her…umm…calculations and ended up frying her father’s cat instead of the sitting rat. (don’t ask…it’s a science thing)

~*~*~*~*~

Chi-Chi accidentally put too much salt in the rice and had to restart again.

~*~*~*~*~

Gohan, after two hours of trying to figure out Murphy’s Law, lost track and began banging his head against the table.

~*~*~*~*~

Son Goku nearly got eaten by the fish he was trying to catch.

~*~*~*~*~

The Saiyan no Ouji was in serious need of therapy.

~*~*~*~*~

An hour and a half later…

“Aww, come on dad, for the one hundredth time, I am sorry. I didn’t mean for you to see it.” Trunks had his face pressed to wooden panel of his father’s bedroom door. The Saiyan no Ouji had locked himself in there and had refused to come out.

“Get lost!!” came the muffled reply, which signified that he was probably hiding beneath his blankets as well.

“Dad…” The purple-haired boy stopped, as soon as he felt the energy shift beside him. He spun around and came face to face with a slightly worried Goku. Luckily, the Saiyan had his clothes on now and was still a bit miffed at missing his chance at catching the fish. But Bulma had asked for his help and so here he was again.

“What’s wrong with Vegeta?”

“He saw my dj.” Came the quiet reply.

A blank look and a raised eyebrow, before a bemused, ‘Your what?’ came out of the older man’s mouth.

Trunks sighed and shoved the culprit into Goku’s hand. “My doujinshi. I had it when I came from my time. It is a book that sort of twists our characters and makes them into…umm…” by this time the young man’s face was a bright shade of red. He could see Goku already flipping through the pages. “I didn’t mean to bring it over here…”

“Wow! I am a knight or something!”

Trunks sweatdropped.

“You bakayaro!! Is that all you can say?! Look at me!! I am a goddamn ONNA!!” came the scream from a very close by voice. In fact, it could be said that Vegeta was now probably behind the door at this very minute.

Goku hmmed and oooed and then gasped. “Geez…Vegeta does look kinda like a girl…”

“I AM NOT A GIRL!!”

“Of course not!” Goku corrected himself quickly, as he flipped through the pages some more. Trunks suddenly realized that Goku was about to reach the damned page and tried desperately to snatch the book away from his grasp, but was just a tad bit too slow.

“Oooo…” Goku said softly, as his dark eyes roamed over the illicit pictures. “Wow…didn’t know we could do stuff like that.”

“WE CANNOT!! AND WE AREN’T!! GOT IT?!”

“Umm…Goku…” Trunks tried desperately. “Can I have it back now?”

Goku turned the book upside and stared intently at the picture. “Looks like whatever I am doing to Vegeta must really hurt. He is crying and all.”

Trunks was now so red that he wanted the floor to open up and bury him. Vegeta was sputtering in disbelief and in a second, he had the door open and the taller Saiyan by the scruff of his neck.

“YOU IMBECILE!! THAT IS NOT THE POINT!!”

“It isn’t?” Goku asked in confusion, his hand still clutched onto the dj, as Trunks danced behind him trying to get it back.

Vegeta wanted to kill someone, namely the fool in front of him. “No, it isn’t! That…that…that…book is wrong! False! Blown completely out of proportion! I do not have those kinds of feelings for you! I would never let you touch me like that! I would never even…kiss you! Got it, Kakkarrot! You are a third class peasant and I am your prince and…”

“It’s just a book, Vegeta.” Goku whined, his face turning a bit blue as Vegeta kept on shaking him. “Besides whatever it is they are doing, looks kinda painful and I would never want to hurt you in that way. So can you let me go now?”

Vegeta blinked and stopped his actions. The words from the older saiyan’s lips had been so sincere, he had unwillingly allowed the funny, fuzzy feeling to flow through him again. Shaking his head to ignore the thoughts, he stepped backwards and crossed his arms across his chest.

“Fine. Apology accepted.”

Goku breathed a huge sigh of relief and turned around to give the blushing demi-saiyan his book back. “Here ya go, Trunks, very interesting if I may say so myself. I thought they would have made books about us fighting or something, but if that’s what they want to write about us, that’s fine too. Right, Vegeta?”

A non-committal ‘Hn’ was all he got in reply.

“I am really sorry for the confusion.” Trunks said sheepishly. “I will go keep it back.”

“K! I gotta run back home anyway. Chi-Chi needs her fish. Bye guys!” And in a flash, the orange-clad Saiyan disappeared from sight.

Father and son stood awkwardly for several minutes, no one knowing what to say really. Finally, with a heavy sigh, Trunks mumbled another apology and shuffled towards his own bedroom. He froze, however, as the calm voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Trunks.”

“Hai?”

A slight shifting of feet was heard followed by a soft cough. Trunks could swear he could hear his father blushing. “Umm…you wouldn’t happen to have anymore of those books with you now, would you?”

The purple-haired boy raised an eyebrow.

The Saiyan no Ouji was quick to explain. “I want to know whether I defeat that baka, Brolli or not, that’s all.”

A small smile made its way onto the younger man’s visage. “Sure dad! I will just go bring the entire collection.”

Vegeta blinked. “Umm…maybe I should just come into your room…”

“Sure!” Trunks replied enthusiastically, already yanking on the older man’s arm and pulling him into his room. “Even better. You wouldn’t believe the stuff they made you guys do in Vol. 3. I mean it was absolutely fantastic…”

A grunt was his reply before the door was shut, successfully enclosing father and son in the wonderful world of doujinshi heaven.

~ Owari. ~