CHAPTER 11 (VEGETA’S STORY):

Vegeta watched as 17 and Trunks headed out of his office filled with instructions that had to be carried out. Sighing wearily, he glanced through lowered lashes at Goku, as he stared out the window. His arm was still wrapped in bandages and he was as tense as a steel pole. Walking silently up to him, he hesitated a bit, not sure if Goku would like the idea or not, but steeling his resolve, he slowly put his arms around him and leaned his head against the broad back, breathing in the heady, woodland scent of the man. Goku stiffened a bit, but slowly relaxed as Vegeta murmured inaudible words behind him. Not turning around, he asked softly, “Why, Vegeta?”

“Why, what?” Vegeta asked huskily, as he began leaving light kisses through his shirt, knowing full-well what Goku was asking about.

“You know what. So stop bullshitting me, Vegeta.” He answered curtly, stiffening again when Vegeta did not stop his kisses.

“Fine.” Vegeta growled, releasing Goku. “If you must know….then I guess I will tell you.” A small voice at the back of his mind, cursed him for what he was about to do.

Goku turned around to see the smaller man walk all the way across the room to the mini-bar. He watched as Vegeta filled a glass with scotch and drank the dark liquid in a gulp, noticing the slight trembling as he wiped his hand across his lips. He was stunned at the haggard look that was etched on Vegeta’s face as their eyes clashed.

“So you want to know my story, ne, Goku?” he laughed bitterly, looking out the window, Vegeta began speaking in a voice that went from toneless and flat to one of bitterness and anger.

“I was born poor, Goku. A fucking church-rat, to a mother who never really seemed to care and to a father that was never there.”

~*~*Flashback*~*~

Marianne trudged up the stairs to the apartment, feeling way too weak to even think. She had just come back from her twelve hour, all night shifts at the linen factory and her hands were calloused and close to bleeding with the insane amount of work she had had to do. She walked up to the front of her apartment and collapsed in a heap against the door. Walking up nearly ten flights of stairs was no fun and it hadn’t helped that she hadn’t a decent coat on to protect from the cold.

The door jerked open quickly, as the boy saw his mother passed-out on the floor.

“Momma!!” he screamed in anguish, grabbing a hold of the weak shoulders and lifting the frail woman into the cold apartment. Laying her gently on the lumpy mattress, he rushed to get the tepid water he had tried to warm up for her. Wiping her face carefully, he looked into the blank eyes and felt a twinge of fear. Swallowing tightly, he ran to get some of the leftover potatoes he saved up last night, warming it on the stove as he thought miserably about the rest of his day.

~ Happy birthday to me…~

He was ten years old, today and like every other year, it would not be celebrated. The last real celebration he had had was about three years ago, when he had received a bike from his mother. She had gotten it on sale from Mr. Roshii who lived down the street, and it looked pretty rickety and old, but Vegeta hadn’t cared. He had a bike! And that was all that mattered. He had taken his time; saving up every penny he made from doing odd jobs here and there, and had polished and made that bike look close to presentable. He was proud of it and he didn’t mind that the other kids on the street had better ones than he did. The one thing they couldn’t do; however, was to catch up to him. Man! He flew like the wind on that machine and no one could even attempt to race with him.

He turned the potatoes over and watched idly as they browned. Another thing that bothered Vegeta a lot was the fact that he had never seen his father in person before. He knew his father was famous for something. He had seen the clips of paper his mother would always cut and pin up in the small living room. It seemed that his father must have been a movie star or something because he was always in the news on TV or in the papers. He knew that people treated him strangely sometimes. They would always make comments like, “Darn, that kid just looks like the Don.” He figured that it must have been his father’s name. He winced as he remembered the day he had been brave enough to actually ask his mother about him.

“Mom…” He had begun, watching his mother’s stern look as she cut and clipped even more stories about Bejita. “Is my dad ever coming back….to get us? I mean…he sounds like he is very popular and rich….so why doesn’t he come back and get us?”

Marianne gripped the scissors even tighter and hissed in anger underneath her breath. She glared in contempt at the carbon copy of Bejita in front of her and felt her bitterness rise up to her throat. ~ How dare he?!! How dare that baka no man leave me with this burden? ~ Speaking up in cold tones, she replied sharply,

“That’s because your father is a no-good man, Vegeta. He left us here with nothing and he is never coming back. Do you hear me? He is never coming back!!!” She suddenly began screaming and rushed around the apartment throwing things about and banging on anything she could find, all the while cursing out the man she had married. Vegeta had crawled into the corner and had begun crying silently. He hated it whenever his mother became this way. She always ended up getting herself hurt and he always felt as if it was his fault.

Vegeta switched off the stove and poured the crisp meal into a plate. Since that day, he had never dared ask about his father again, but that hadn’t stopped him from asking other people, especially old Mr. Roshii, who was always willing to dish out stories. Walking carefully to his mother, he placed the food in front of her and tried to feed it to her. ~ Kami! She is so pale and cold. ~

“You’ve gotta eat, momma.” He said gently, trying to force the food past the tightly shut lips. After several failed attempts, he sighed in resignation and stood up, brushing his hands lightly on his school uniform. “I have got to run to school now, Mom. I hope you feel better when I get back.” Leaning down, he brushed his lips against the cold cheeks and with one last glance to make sure she was comfortable enough, he ran out of the apartment. He was already way late for school. Jumping onto his bike, which still fit him perfectly, he sped off down the street towards the Catholic school that he was forced to attend. It was run by the local church, so basically all the kids, who couldn’t afford the other schools, were shuttled down to this one.

Screeching to a halt in front of the low, school buildings, he quickly parked his bike and shouldering his school backpack, took off at jet speed down the empty halls. Hopefully, he would be able to make it before Father Michael would make an appearance. Or not.

“Vegeta!”

Vegeta froze halfway up the stairs as he swallowed tightly. ~ Great! Of all the people he had to see this morning. ~ He swiveled around and faced the stern-faced priest, who seemed to have a thing for Vegeta. Actually, both of them couldn’t stand each other. Vegeta gave the Father a hard time….most of the time, and Father Michael never hesitated to give Vegeta the punishment he deserved, which usually involved a good flogging and being kept in the rectory for detention.

“Good morning, Father Michael.” He said, smiling brightly. “It is a glorious day outside, isn’t it? So glorious in fact, that I am sure you wouldn’t have the heart to punish me today, now would you?”

“Nice try, Vegeta.” The man replied smugly. “The Lord would hardly have bought such a measly excuse from you. Now get down here and head to the assembly hall immediately.”

~ Kami! Not in front of the entire school!! ~

“Please, Father. Don’t do it in front of the whole school! Why can’t I just take it in your office, or even in class?!” Vegeta begged, hating himself for doing it. He so badly wanted to kick this guy’s butt.

“No, Vegeta! You are going to be an example for any other student who tries to come in late to school. Now, march to the assembly hall now!”

Vegeta raised hateful eyes to the smug face that was before him, and walked resolutely into the large room. Since everyone in there was in the midst of bible study, a sudden hush fell as everyone turned around to stare at the stoic-faced boy and the priest walking down the aisle. Getting up to the podium, Father Michael whispered his intentions to the head priest and getting his approval, he turned to address the school.

“Boys and girls, I have a little announcement to make. As you can see, we have a tardy student today.” He waved his hands over to the rigid-faced Vegeta. “And now, you will all have a chance to see what happens to students that fail to comply with the rules of the school and church. Vegeta, please step up to the podium and receive your punishment.”

Vegeta clenched his fists tightly and stepped up to look dead into the eyes that laughed at him in silent mockery. For a moment, Father Michael looked scared; he had never seen such hate from one so little before. In that one instant, the uncanny resemblance to the infamous crime lord, Bejita, was nearly frightening. Steeling his resolve, he gripped the willow whip in his hand and began lashing it against the smooth curve of the boy’s rear as he bent down.

Vegeta gritted his teeth as the lashes fell. He vowed to himself that he would not cry. He would not give Father Michael the satisfaction of knowing that it hurt like hell. He would not show the school that he was weak. He would not let his mother down and snivel like a crybaby. He would show them all that he could be as tough as his elusive father. He was the son of Don Bejita, dammit! And no one could break him!

The only sounds that filled the room came from the whip and the grunts of the now perspiring Father. After what seemed like eons, the man stopped, wiping the sweat off his brow. He watched in amazement as Vegeta stood back up and smiled at him. “Thank you, Father. That was a lesson well learnt.” For a moment, the man could hardly believe that all of that flogging hadn’t made a dent on the boy. It took him another minute to realize that the entire student body was now on their feet and cheering loudly as Vegeta made his way to his seat. It took about twenty minutes for the teachers to calm the excited students down.

Vegeta grinned smugly, as he let the cheers wash over him. ~ Hn. Just another day in school. ~

SIX YEARS LATER:

Vegeta combed his hair for the umpteenth time. It was some stupid prom thingy at the school that night and he was dreading it with a passion. Looking at the cheap suit he had managed to trade away from that ugly bastard down the street, he wondered why he even bothered anyway. ~ You know why, you baka…~ He thought, grinning wildly to himself.

He and a bunch of his friends had decided that they were going to lose their virginity tonight and they were going to visit one of the local strip clubs downtown.

He was happy with the way he looked, although he hadn’t exactly gained a lot of inches in the height department and he knew that the ladies couldn’t seem to resist him. Smirking in amusement, he remembered the fight that had broken out last week at the mall between his current girlfriend and the one he had last broken up with. Kami! It had been embarrassing and funny to see. Another reason why the girls seemed to like him would probably be the element of danger that seemed to follow Vegeta around like a plague. He might have been only sixteen, but he had the shrewd mind of an intellect and could easily outwit anyone, any day, anytime and anyplace.

He had gathered a lot of respect in his neighborhood and no one wanted to mess around with the Don’s look-alike or even his son, as most people began to spread the rumor around. Vegeta didn’t really care. His main concerns were with his mother.

Stepping out of the bathroom, he watched sadly as his mother sat beside the window, still clipping away at yet another story about Bejita’s escapades. He knew now that his father was a crime lord and a pretty good one at that. Some part of him was proud of that fact, but the majority of his feelings were that of hatred and anger. He wished he could find a way to meet the man and maybe, just maybe, give him a piece of his mind.

“Momma….”he said softly, going up to the frowning woman and placing warm hands on her shoulder. “Will you be okay?”

He didn’t expect an answer, of course. There were some days his mother would seem to be on another planet. She barely recognized him or spoke to him. She acted more and more like a zombie these days and Vegeta was really beginning to think that she was giving up on life itself. She still insisted on working at the linen factory and although Vegeta had gotten himself a job at the local grocery store as a stocker, she refused to take his money, saying that it was blood money and she would never touch it, for as long as she lived.

Sighing, Vegeta shrugged into his jacket and walked out of the apartment. Strolling down the streets, he breathed in the smoky air of the dingy streets and nearly gave himself a heart attack. Lighting up his cigarette, he leaned against one of the many street lamps and waited for his friends. Several prostitutes tried to pick him up, but he smiled gently and refused the tempting offers. No….he had eyes for only one person. And that person happened to be his best friend, Jake. Speaking of which….

“Hey, Vegeta!!” The handsome, blond boy waved through the roof of his car. “Let’s go, bro!”

Vegeta grinned and jumped into the vehicle, and along with two other of his friends, they sped off into the night.

Tossing the last bottle of beer into the ravine below, Vegeta stuck his hands into his pockets and let the wind whip across his hair. The boys had decided to stop for a minute to get some drinks, neither of them wanting to admit the fact that they were nervous as hell. Vegeta tensed as he felt Jake walk up to him and place a strong hand on his shoulder. He had always felt attracted to the other boy, but he hadn’t wanted to lose his friendship or have to be called a fag because of that.

“What’s the matter, Vegeta? If you are still worried about tonight, don’t sweat it. I am sure it will be just a breeze. Everyone says so.”

“You mean, you aren’t nervous?”

“Nah….I have done it once before….”Jake began whispering now, so that the others wouldn’t hear him. “But…it was with a ….um…a….um…..”

Vegeta frowned as Jake tried to get the word out. “With a what?” He finally asked.

He watched as the blond boy blushed in embarrassment. “Promise you won’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

“Sure.” Wondering what the hell Jake was so flustered about.

“Well….I slept with a guy.”

Several minutes went by as Vegeta tried to digest this new information. His heart had leapt to his throat as he had heard the admission and he felt the burden lift off his shoulders a bit.

“Did you like it?” He asked, needing to know.

“It was okay, I guess. I was too smashed at the time to remember much. But one thing I do remember, is that I got the best blow job of my life.” Jake replied grinning.

Vegeta felt his face flush and he shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another. He didn’t know what to say.

“Do you want me to give you one, Vegeta?” Jake asked huskily. Vegeta felt like he would probably drown in those eyes that sparkled so brightly in the night air.

“Umm….sure…why not?” Vegeta replied flippantly, hiding the turbulent emotions that raged within. He soon felt himself being dragged off into one of the abandoned trucks that lay by the roadside. They were not out of the view of the others and no one would have noticed the two boys in the run-down vehicle.

“Have you ever kissed a guy before?” Jake asked

“No…” Vegeta answered, mesmerized by the approaching lips of the person he most needed at the moment. The warm lips touched his gently and a spark of something he couldn’t quite fathom, flared up in the pit of his stomach. Moaning softly, he opened up his mouth and allowed the warmth of Jake’s tongue to dip in. Both boys ground hips and bodies together as they deepened the kiss. Their arousals throbbed painfully and Vegeta gasped as he felt Jake touch his through his pants.

Before he could think coherently, Jake had released his mouth and was tugging away at his belt buckle. Helping him, with shaking hands, he pulled down his pants and allowed his erection the freedom it craved. He watched in fascination and growing lust, as Jake began to slowly lick his way from tip to base in wet strokes. Vegeta shut his eyes and had to stuff his hand into his mouth to stop the scream that was threatening to spill out. Kami! He had never felt anything this good before. He usually jerked himself off at nights, but this was unbelievable.

He bucked and writhed on the leather seats of the truck as Jake worked on his turgid flesh. Just when he felt he couldn’t possibly take it anymore, the sucking sensations stopped. Raising lust-filled eyes to his lover, he watched as Jake removed his own pants and stared in awe at the size of his penis.

Motioning with his hands, he laid Vegeta against the seats. “You are going to suck me off too, Vegeta.”

“Huh? H..How?”

“This way.” As Jake flipped himself over the prone body of Vegeta, so that he was facing Vegeta’s member, while Vegeta stared at Jake's in front of him. “Go ahead, Vegeta. It won’t bite.”

Vegeta wasn’t really sure about this, but he raised his head and took the warm flesh between his lips, hissing through his teeth as Jake had gone back to work on his own. Trying to concentrate, he began sucking the warmth with as much passion as he could muster. He grinned as he felt Jake shake and whimper on top of him. He figured he must have been doing it right, then. He bucked as Jake began deep-throating him. Feeling his orgasm fast approaching he began to suck on Jake in a frenzy. Tightening his body, he exploded into the torturous lips that proceeded to lick him dry. He watched as Jake arched off his body, shutting his eyes and hissing through his teeth as he came into his mouth. Vegeta tasted the hot juices and tried to lick off as much as he could.

Sagging limply against each other, Jake turned back around and kissed Vegeta firmly on the lips. “Kami!” He muttered thickly, looking at Vegeta through hooded eyes. “You are one sexy bastard, you know that, don’t you?” He teased, watching in amusement as Vegeta’s cheeks flared up in embarrassment.

“Get off me, you baka!” Vegeta scowled, trying to hide his pleasure. “You don’t want us to be late for the gig now, do you?”

Both boys dressed in a hurry, sharing one last kiss before they stepped out of the truck. Smiling gently at each other, they headed off to the neon lights of downtown.

Zarbon glared at the nuisance that was being raised by the newcomers. He did not appreciate people coming into the strip club and disturbing the women or other customers. Crushing out his cigarette, he walked up to the burly men and without saying a word, punched them both squarely in the jaw. Signaling to the other bouncers, they were quietly escorted or should we say, dragged, out of the building.

It was a pretty good night and the boss was going to show up at any minute. ~ Where the fuck is Radditz? ~ The moron had been showing his incompetence more and more each day, and Zarbon for one did not understand it. Smiling absentmindedly at one of the girls that danced, he raised his glass of scotch to his lips and eyed the new guests. ~ Hn. These kids, don’t they have school tomorrow? ~ He was about to ignore them, when his eyes fell on the shortest one. He nearly dropped his glass in surprise as he stared at the telltale-upturned spikes that only one other person had. Bejita. His boss. The boy didn’t look any more than a teen and his face was etched with the same hard lines that made up the countenance of his employer.

He watched as the boys made their way up to one of the tables and began looking at the women. A tap on his shoulder, jerked him away from his reverie.

“Hey, Zarbon. Boss is here.” Nodding in acknowledgement, he got up from his position and headed out to the back offices.

Stopping one of the bouncers, he whispered softly to him, “I want you to watch out for table nineteen. I don’t want those boys to leave just yet. Got it?”

“Yes, sir.”

Walking into the restricted area, he pushed open the doors and stepped into the Don’s presence. It was the same feeling every time. He never ceased to be amazed at the aura of power the man emitted. Nodding at the taller man, he wondered if he should tell Bejita about the look-alike outside. No one really knew about the boss’s past life. All they knew was that he worked for Don Frieza and that was that. Not that Zarbon cared, but this was too good to pass up.

“Any news for me, Zarbon?” Bejita asked, placing his legs on the desk and billowing out a cloud of smoke from his cigar.

“Yes, sir.” He began running down the list of things that they had set out to accomplish, which was mainly eliminating all competition in the alcohol business. They had bought out several more police officers and things were looking good in the hard drugs export department.

Nodding in satisfaction, Bejita swung his legs off the desk and walked over to the doors that led to the main dance room.

“I guess since everything is in order, I better just check out the girls, huh?” he grinned and stepped outside, not noticing Zarbon’s reaction.

Bejita strolled casually out to his strip club. He was proud of this place. It was the very first club he had opened and it was considered the high class establishment of the town. He did not tolerate slouches, both in his guests and his women and you had to have the money to spend if you wanted a really good time. He smiled as the women acknowledged him and gave nods to the bartenders and bouncers. He walked around the customers giving them handshakes or just a word or two in greeting. It was then that he spied the young boys at Table Nineteen. Mumbling under his breath about his workers allowing underage kids into his club, he suddenly froze as he stared at the sharp, obsidian eyes that seemed frozen in shock as well.

Time stood still as father and son looked at each other in disbelief.

~ Kami! It’s….It cannot be….Vegeta….Marianne…~

~ Father?! ~

Vegeta didn’t exactly know how to feel at the moment. He was too numb to think. He wanted to jump into the man’s arms and never let go, and yet he wanted to kill him for leaving them for all this time. He was trembling so violently that his friends began staring at him in shock.

“Vegeta?” Jake asked, tugging on the frozen boy’s shirt. “You alright, man?”

“My….my….father…” he whispered, not taking his eyes away from Bejita.

The boys turned and stared, blinking in surprise at the uncanny resemblance. “Dude! That is awesome. Don Bejita is your father?!” One of them shouted in excitement, causing most heads to turn and Vegeta to return back to the real world. He bounced up from his chair and began heading towards Bejita, when a figure blocked his path. He glared up to see the blue skinned man with the really long hair, blocking his path.

“Where do you think you are going to, son?” Zarbon asked, smirking.

“Excuse me, please. But I have to see my father.” Vegeta answered curtly, already about to shove Zarbon out of the way.

“I don’t think so, junior. As you can see, Bejita doesn’t really want to see you.” He pushed the boy back with more force than necessary.

Vegeta staggered a bit and scowled in irritation and growing annoyance. “Listen here, buddy! That’s my father! And I have a right to see him!”

“Prove it!” Knowing full-well, what a stupid order that was.

“Kisama!! I fucking look like him! Isn’t that proof enough?!” Vegeta turned around to see Bejita making a quick exit. Panicking at the fact that he might not see him again, he raised his voice and struggled violently against Zarbon who now held him. “FATHER!! ITS’ ME! VEGETA!! YOUR SON!! PLEASE, FATHER!!”

Bejita continued on his way out the club, and now desperate, Vegeta howled in anguish, “GET THE FUCK OFF ME!” And with brute strength, he pushed Zarbon to the floor and ran after the disappearing man, needing to see him, to touch him, at least let him say something.

Zarbon gritted his teeth in anger and yelling to the other bouncers, he said sharply, “Stop that boy!!”

Jake realized what was happening and wanting to help his friend he tripped several of the men down. By this time, the club was in chaos as most of the customers and the dancing women tried to make sense of what was going on. Zarbon noticed the action Jake had taken, not meaning to fire it, he pulled out his gun, intending on using it to scare off the boy. Instead, he watched in horror as one of the bouncers used his own weapon and pointed it squarely at the blond boy’s back.

“NO! AZAKA, STOP!!”

The sound of the gun going off threw every one in there into a mass of screams. They rushed to the doors in a hurry to run out as the boy lay in his own pool of blood. Zarbon hissed in a breath and groaned at the mess. Bejita was not going to be happy. Speaking of which….where the hell were the father and son?

Bejita walked unseeingly into the night air, the sounds of screaming coming out from the club a distant cry in his ear. His son. He had seen his son. After all this time. He was shaking so badly, that he had to lean his head against the cold walls that led to where his BMW was parked. He couldn’t face the boy. He had seen the disgust, hate and confusion all mingled in those few seconds and he couldn’t blame the boy for that. And Marianne. He wasn’t sure if she was still alive. He had never asked. Never really cared after joining the blasted organization and now his baby boy was all grown up and looking for him.

“FATHER!!”

He froze in fear and then spun around to face his replica. Keeping his face impassive, he looked at the young man that stood with clenched fists and a bitter look on his face.

“Hello, Vegeta.” He said calmly. “I guess you have finally figured out where to find me.”

Vegeta felt the bile rise up to his throat. He spat out in disgust and spoke coldly to the man before him.

“I wonder why I keep calling you that. After all, you haven’t been much of a father lately.”

“Listen, son….”

“DO NOT CALL ME THAT!” He flared up in fury. He wanted to kill this man.

“So..what should I call you then?” Bejita asked mockingly.

“Don’t you dare laugh at me, either!!”

Sighing, Bejita reached into his pocket and pulled out a stack of bills.

“Okay. How much do you want? I am going to give you as much as you want, if you promise not to bug me ever again.”

Vegeta could hardly believe his ears. This wasn’t happening to him.

“I don’t need your fucking money, dad. We don’t need you. We have been fine on our own all this time, so please spare me the fucking sympathy moment."

“Well..then…”

“You know, I always had this vision of you being somehow different. I thought you would welcome mom and I, and at least feel somewhat sorry for what you did. But you don't, do you? You never gave a shit about us. All that mattered to you was your stupid job! Well, guess what, dad? When I grow up, I am going to be just like you. And I swear I will make you pay for every single thing you have done to mom and I. By the time I am through, you will wish you had never been born or rather that I had never been born!! So long, father.”

And giving one bitter glance at Bejita, he turned on his heels and ran off into the night.

~*~*~* Flashback end *~*~*

“I never saw my father again in person, after that day. Fact was, he moved out of there. Never showed his fucked-up face after that. I guess he figured that since we were still around, he didn’t want to make the mistake of seeing me again. I learnt about Jake’s death the next day and as you could have imagined, I didn’t take it too well. I nearly killed myself, except for the fact that I still had mother to worry about.”

“Is your mother…alive, Vegeta?” Goku asked softly.

A small smile graced the bitter face. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Goku.”

Walking up to the taller man, Vegeta smiled into the handsome face and leaned up to gently brush his lips against the ones before him. Wrapping his hands around Goku’s waist again, he leaned his head against the broad chest and said huskily,

“So you see why, Goku. I want to make sure he suffers, just the same way I suffered. And to avenge my best friend’s death. I have watched and studied my father for many years now and I think the time has finally come. You do understand, don't you?”

“I understand, Vegeta.” Goku said softly, brushing his hand lightly over the spiky locks. “However, I need to find my partner. I have someone I would like to deal with, as well.”

Vegeta snapped his head up and stared into the jet black ones before him. “Let me help you.”

“No, Vegeta. You have your father to deal with. I have to do this on my own."

Vegeta swallowed tightly, not wanting to let Goku go….go….back to him. Licking his lips, he whispered in resignation. “If you must go, then go. But I want you to bring yourself back to me intact, you hear me? Because if you get yourself killed, I swear I will meet you in the afterlife and kill you again.”

Goku chuckled and slowly withdrew from Vegeta’s embrace. “Thanks for everything, Vegeta. I hope you succeed in your pursuits.”

Nodding, Vegeta watched as Goku walked out of his office. He shut his eyes, refusing to let the pain that shot through his being show through. He had work to do and no time to waste.

~ Come back to me, Goku, for you have stolen my heart, as well. ~