Part Twelve:

From the opened patio French doors, the cool breeze that drifted through was soothing and pleasing. Against the bare skin on the young man’s chest, it felt like a blessing from the gods. It was late evening and the dying sunset cast its golden glow into the quiet room, giving a sense of serenity that was oddly placed in such a noisy city.

Still. Quiet. Peaceful.

If only his heart felt that way.

With a low groan, he threw an arm over his eyes, his free hand clutching a fistful of the bedspread he lay on. His mind was a whirl of jumbled images and thoughts that threatened to drive him crazy. A restless night spent tossing and turning had given his usually vivacious features, a pale and drawn look. He had avoided talking to his teammates throughout the day and had begged to be left alone as they left for a brief meeting with the other players.

/ You are going to have to break someone’s heart…/

“Why, Touya?” he whispered achingly, swallowing the stubborn lump that had risen in his throat. He didn’t want to cry again. He had spent all of last night sobbing himself softly to sleep, ignoring Waya’s worried questions and the looks he had received as he stumbled out of bed this morning. He could have sworn that he had seen a look of guilt on Akira’s face, but that must have been a figment of his imagination, for Touya had barely said a word or even looked at him. On the other hand, Hikaru had felt the growing anger within the redhead and with vague replies of ‘I’m okay, really’ to every time he was asked a question about his well being, he knew that Waya was bound to have a word or two with their captain.

~ What am I going to do, Sai? How can I choose between two people who mean so much to me? ~

A reluctant tear slid down his cheek and he didn’t bother wiping it away. There was no one here to see him, so there was no need to hide his anguish. The tears began to fall faster and harder. Years of pent-up frustrations all culminating into one big flood of turbulent emotions. He was an emotional wreck at this point and he wasn’t sure he could go on in this state.

And for one brief moment, he entertained the thought of telling Ogata that he could no longer participate in the tournament.

~*~*~*~*~

The meeting was long and boring and Waya kept glancing at his watch and then towards the exits as if hoping someone or something would rescue him from this torture. Every other moment, he would spare a scathing glance at Touya, wondering why the stoic boy had made no attempts to speak to either he or Shindo since their return last night.

He grit his teeth and cursed beneath his breath. Akira must have said something to hurt Hikaru. There was no other way to explain it.

Touya, you jerk! What have you done to him now?! I told you…

His thoughts were broken as a round of applause broke out and clapping on autopilot, he rose to his feet as the others were and used the opportunity to lean closer to the long-haired boy.

“We need to talk outside…now!” came the gruff whisper that made Akira start for a moment.

“There is nothing to talk about,” Akira replied through clenched teeth as he pretended to smile at the greetings that came his way.

Waya hissed angrily and muttered, while smiling to another group of admiring fans. “Oh, yes there is and you know it, Touya! What the hell did you say to Shindo yesterday? He is acting like a zombie and it’s all your fault!”

For a moment, a flash of pain was seen in the dark green depths, but it was quickly replaced with one of passive indifference. “I don’t know what you are talking about, Waya.”

“Kuso! Don’t play dumb with me…”

“Aaaaaaah! There you are! I thought I would never get to see you guys today!”

The boys and Ogata gaped in surprise at the chubby man that walked up to them with an impossible grin on his features. It was Waya who managed to find his voice.

“Kura…Kurata-san? What the hell are you doing here?”

The reigning Honinbo titleholder pouted as if hurt and shrugged good-naturedly. “Why, I only came here to root for my favorite team! Everyone is cheering you boys back home!” He laughed heartily and slapped a hand behind Waya’s back, almost sending the poor boy toppling to the ground. “Why, every Go salon has their TV stations tuned in to your matches, no matter how late they are. You boys are superstars now!” He turned to face the silent blond man with a sheepish grin. “Isn’t that right, Ogata-sensei? You have a very good team this year. They should be able to make it to the finals and take the trophy from those other guys!”

A light puff from his cigarette and a wry grin completed the ‘Hn’, he got as a reply. But the Honinbo was not fazed by the cool response, after all, he was used to it by now. He gave an even wider grin and turned to face the stupefied boys again. He was about to say something, when his eyes scanned the trio before him with a purse of his lips.

“Hmm…is it just me or are we one team member too short?” he finally asked with a light scratch on his head. He glanced around the room expecting the missing person to pop out from the small groups of people. “Well…where is he?” He asked in bewilderment.

Waya gave a light snort and sat back down on the table. “Why don’t you ask, Touya? He is the team captain after all. He is responsible for the welfare of his teammates, aren’t you, Touya-kun?”

The sarcasm wasn’t lost on Akira, and for a brief moment gold and green clashed in silent duel. Clenching his hands into tight fists by his side, he turned to face the waiting man, and with a voice that did not betray the anger he was beginning to feel, he replied softly. “Shindo is not feeling too well today, Kurata-san…”

“No thanks to you,” Waya muttered bitterly.

Akira closed his eyes and took a deep breath to control himself. He opened them again, noticing that Kurata was beginning to get a wind of what was going on. With a light frown, he finished up quickly. “He is just taking a rest in our hotel room. I have no doubt that he will be ready for the match against Korea tomorrow.”

The older man ‘hmmed’ and nodded slowly. Even though his actions gave the perception that he was okay with Akira’s answer, his eyes told a whole different story. He clearly did not buy it. There was something else going on that he was yet to find out. Amano-san was right. There was a tension in the air and even though the boys’ earlier matches had been relatively easy, the tone of discord and disarray still hung in the air. It was as if any action was bound to destroy the fragile thread of unity they had at the moment.

The question was….was the thread still strong enough.

“Ah well, what can I say? I wish you guys the best of luck tomorrow…unless any of you wish to play a round with me today. It will give you good practice, ne? You wouldn’t mind now, would you, Ogata-san?”

The blond shook his head. “I would recommend it. Since Shindo isn’t feeling too well, Ochi might end up playing in his place against the Koreans. Hopefully, he should be well enough to face the Chinese…”

“If we make it that far,” Kurata interrupted, only to receive cold looks from his audience. “Hehe…just kidding. Of course, you all are going to make it through! That’s what I am here for! Now, who wants to practice with me?”

Waya mumbled something and turned away. Akira looked as if he was torn between agreeing and refusing, while Ochi…

“I will play with you,” he finally said with a soft sigh as visible signs of relief flowed through Waya and Akira’s bodies.

“Excellent! Here is my room number.” He whipped out a pen from his pocket and reached for a paper napkin on the table. Scribbling a few words…which turned out to be ‘The Greatest Honinbo Ever – Rm 1234’ (This, of course, caused low groans of disbelief from the boys)…he handed the paper over to Ochi with a light chuckle. “Don’t get lost now. I will be in my room by eight this evening…that is about two hours from now. So, come with your game face on! See you boys tomorrow!”

As soon as Kurata was out of sight, Waya got to his feet and began to tug Akira out of the room. And in a voice that left no room for arguments, he bit out coldly.

“We need to have that talk now!”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Dull green eyes stared at its reflection in the mirror.

~ Sai…I am doing the right thing…aren’t I? ~

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ochi stepped out of the elevator and walked down the empty hallway towards their room. Sliding the card through its slot, he pushed open the door and closed it with a light slam. He was going to have to get ready to face Kurata-san in an hour or so and he decided that a quick shower was in order. He took off his glasses and wiped them with his shirt before placing them back on with a heavy sigh.

Nobody else wants to do the dirty job. I have to be the one to do it.

Bastards.

He walked into the kitchen and fixed himself a glass of orange juice. He wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t blind…much as the others tried to make him seem that way. For all his silence, Ochi was observant – very observant. He had noticed the way his teammates had been acting for the past week and a half. Their body languages, their softly hinted actions…it was enough to drive him mad.

And he knew what was wrong with Shindo too.

He just didn’t care or want to know….right?

Since they didn’t regard him as anything but an extra baggage, he would continue with his non-chalance and…

He blinked as he heard the low moan. His fingers tightening around the cold glass in his hands.

It is nothing. It is none of my business. I have to go get ready for Kurata…

“Mmmmmmm…..”

The moan was louder and this time, Ochi could not continue to pretend that he hadn’t heard it. Shindo was in some sort of pain and he was the only one around to help.

Call an ambulance! Call the hotel’s medical personnel or something!

But he seemed frozen and unable to move. He could only stare owlishly at the bedroom door, as if afraid it was going to bite him if he made any movement.

“Shin…Shin…do…aaaaaaarghhh!”

He jumped back in terror as the bedroom door flew open. He flattened himself against the kitchen door as Shindo stomped into the kitchen and made a beeline for the fridge. Whimpering in fear, he watched as the boy pulled out the bottle of milk and poured a generous amount into a cup. With frightened eyes, he watched the liquid disappear in record time, mentally calculating how far it was from his position to the front door. If Shindo dared to attack him, he was going to scream like he had never screamed before.

Suddenly…

“I can’t let them dictate who I choose to love.”

Ochi swallowed tightly and kept his mouth shut. He was sure that Shindo hadn’t even noticed he was in the kitchen. The blond just stood with his gaze lowered to the floor, jaw clenched in determination as he clenched his hands into fists.

“I won’t let them ruin my life…Sai…”

Ochi’s eyes widened. Sai? Sai?! Wasn’t Sai the one that had…?

“I am not going to break anyone’s heart. If anything…they should be the ones begging me! Damn Touya… and Waya too! I came here to win a tournament, damn it!”

Ochi watched in growing bewilderment as Shindo seemed to be listening to someone. He gulped as he noticed the color drain from the blond’s features. He had been discovered. He prepared himself a ready excuse, bracing himself for some kind of explosion of anger for being an eavesdropper.

Shindo pinned glazed green eyes on the pale and trembling boy in the room with him. He didn’t seem to recognize Ochi for a moment, but with a light shake of his head, he managed a wan smile and small wave. “Hey…Ochi…”

“Hey…Shindo…” he replied shakily, wondering what was going to happen to him next.

An awkward silence fell for several minutes before Hikaru sighed and turned away. “How long have you been in here?”

“Long enough,” came the rather snappish reply, which he quickly regretted as he noticed Shindo’s shoulders stiffen. Straightening his glasses, he pushed himself away from the door and cleared his throat. “Look…I won’t say anything…”

“I don’t care anymore.”

Ochi blinked. “What…what do you mean?”

Hikaru spun around to give a rather sickly smile to the stunned boy. “It means that I won’t play anymore. You can become third board until the tournament is over, Ochi. You are as good as I am, if not better…”

Ochi couldn’t believe his ears. Was Shindo Hikaru actually planning to quit playing in a tournament that they had worked so hard to get into? Was he really planning to throw months of preparation and dedication away for nothing? Ochi felt that he should have jumped at this opportunity. It was what he had always wanted, right? A chance to prove that he was worthy of being Touya’s rival and now Shindo was offering up the succulent platter to him…just like that? But instead of feeling a glow of satisfaction, Ochi found himself trembling in anger.

“Are you out of your mind? You know as well as I do that you are the only one capable of beating the Koreans! What is wrong with you, Shindo?”

“I just can’t deal with the pressure anymore…”

“The…pressure…”

“How can I concentrate with two boys who want me to make such a life altering decision? My mind can’t deal with it anymore!”

Ochi scowled and with a boldness that seemed to come out from nowhere, he walked up to Shindo and gave him a hard slap on his cheek.

The sound of flesh against flesh filled the quiet apartment and for several minutes, only the sounds of heavy breathing disturbed the tension-filled silence. Shindo raised a hand to his burning cheek, eyes widened in disbelief. Had Ochi just…?

“Grow up already!” came the cold reprimand. Shindo had never seen such an angry look on the smaller boy’s features and he could only hold his cheek and gape at him in awe. “All this time, I have had to watch and listen to you and your silly games with those two! And to be honest, I am sick of it! You love them both, right?”

Shindo lowered his gaze and muttered out a gruff ‘yes’, still wondering how in the world he was having such a conversation with someone like…Ochi.

“So, what the hell is your problem?”

“Touya wants me to choose, that’s what! And I can’t do it, Ochi!” He felt the ridiculous sting of tears begin to burn his eyes again and he struggled hard not to break down. “I can’t make up my mind! I want them both and it doesn’t seem…fair…”

“Touya asked you to choose?”

Shindo sniffled softly and nodded. “Yes…he said I would have to break someone’s heart and…”

“That fool!”

Shindo blinked at the vehement curse. “Ochi…”

“Listen to me, Shindo,” Ochi began with a sly look on his features. “I think I have something that you might do to set your mind at ease and to teach those boys a lesson.”

“You…you do?”

Ochi’s grin widened as he nodded. “Hai…now sit down and listen to me…”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Waya’s scowl deepened as he kicked at the pebble on the ground absentmindedly. He glared at the boy leaning against the small wooden bridge, before shaking his head in disbelief.

“There are too many loopholes in your story, Touya,” he finally said as he walked up to stand beside him. “You can’t tell me that you only told him your feelings and then he started acting that way.”

Akira ran fingers through his hair and turned away. The guilty feeling had refused to leave his mind and body, and closing his eyes, he tried to will away the look of pure anguish and dismay that had been on Shindo’s face after he had given the ultimatum.

/Please…please don’t make me choose…/

What have I done? Can you ever forgive me, Shindo?

Finally, in a small voice, he said without looking around. “He said that he loves you, Waya.”

The red head had just been ready to get into another tirade on Akira’s lack of interest, when the words sent him rooted to the earth in shock. Golden eyes widened, his heart rate quickening as he tried not to show how much those words had meant to him.

“Stop it, Touya,” he croaked out harshly. He spun the boy around and pinned blazing and yet almost fearful eyes on the cool visage of his rival. “Stop messing around with me! Tell me the truth! What did he really say?!”

Akira lowered his lashes and frowned. “Exactly what I said, Waya. He told me that he loves you and then I…” He faltered as a pained look crossed his features.

Waya felt as if the world had stopped. Shindo loved him! Shindo actually, truly loved him! But then again…what was with Touya’s behavior? Was he envious?

“He loves me too, Waya,” Akira muttered, never lifting his gaze from the soft white petals of the roses that had fallen to the ground. “He is in love with both of us…”

There was more. Waya could sense that Touya was going to say something that was bound to break this wonderful illusion. Sinking his hands into the pockets of his pants, he held his breath and waited for the dark-haired boy to continue. After what seemed like eons, Akira finally blurted out miserably. “And I told him to choose between us. I told him that he couldn’t have both of us and I forced him to…make up his mind…”

His voice trailed off as the evening wind picked up and blew across their motionless frames. Waya felt the chill seep through his bones as his jaw dropped in shock and disbelief.

“You….bastard…” he cried out weakly, before his voice began to rise in growing fury. “You stupid, foolish bastard! How could you say something like that?”

Akira winced inwardly, but stood his ground. He replied coldly, “I realize that I shouldn’t have said something like that now! So stop over reacting! After all, you made him miserable as well!”

“Kuso! Kuso! Kuso!” Waya paced like a caged animal along the sidewalk. He ran trembling fingers through his already mussed hair. His mind churned with conflicting emotions and thoughts. “We so screwed this up, Touya. You know that, don’t you? We are going to have to come clean and tell him everything.”

“I know…”

“Damn it! Why the hell…?”

“I said I was sorry, didn’t I?”

“You don’t tell me that! You have to tell Shindo that, bakayaro!”

Another tense silence fell, before Waya scoffed and turned on his heels.

“Where are you going to?” Akira asked as he began to follow the striding boy like a lost puppy.

“Where else?” came the snapped reply. “If we hope to have a good game and some peace of mind tomorrow, we are going to have to have a long talk with Shindo tonight, got it?”

Akira gave a small nod of acceptance, hoping that Shindo would even wish to look at his face in the first place. The closer they approached the hotel, the more his heart seemed to sink with despair. Shindo was never going to forgive him. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he had only done it out of desperation. He stared at the redhead’s back, reluctantly admiring the confident stride and power that seemed to exude from his body. Waya was more like Shindo than he cared to admit. Both were fiery and had a genuine love for life. Their camaraderie was something that Akira had always longed for and knowing that Shindo felt the very same emotion for the redhead sent a flare of jealousy that he couldn’t control.

So lost was he in his thoughts that he gave a light grunt of surprise as he bumped into the solid strength of Waya’s back. They were a few feet from the hotel and he could see that the red head had a look of worry on his visage as well.

I know how you feel…Waya…we are both afraid of getting hurt…even when we hurt him more than we should have.

And before he could stop himself, he reached for the other boy’s hand and clasped it within his tightly. Waya gasped softly at the contact and could not stop the blush that dusted his cheeks.

“Touya…” He began in a shaky voice.

Akira leaned closer to place a quick and soft kiss on his lips before squeezing his hand gently in reassurance. “Don’t worry, Waya-kun. I am sure we can make him see reason.”

“I hope so, Touya. I really, really hope so…”

~*~*~*~*~

The apartment seemed silent as the two boys walked in. They exchanged quick glances, each trying not to betray the uneasiness they felt inside. As they walked further into the room, the unmistakable sounds of light laughter reached their ears and this time, they exchanged bewildered looks. The laughing voices definitely belonged to Shindo and…Ochi?

Moving as if pushed by an invisible force, Waya and Akira made their way towards the sounds. It lead them straight to Akira and Ochi’s bedroom and as they pushed the door open, the sight that met their widened gazes left them completely speechless and in a state of shock.

Sitting in the middle of Ochi’s bed with a small goban between them and a game in progress, were Shindo and the bespectacled boy…and they seemed engrossed in their activities. All around them were clothes and items that belonged to the blond. It was as if Shindo was….

“Oh, hey guys!” He called out with a light wave and an impossible grin. This was not the Shindo they had left this morning. Where was the morose-looking boy that had hardly cracked a smile? Where were the red-rimmed eyes and the downcast gaze? Who was this stranger laughing with…Ochi?!

Waya managed to find his voice and he squeaked out breathlessly, “What…what the hell is going on here?”

Shindo shrugged and turned back to grin at his new friend. “Why don’t you tell them Ochi-kun?” he asked carelessly as he placed another stone on the board.

The bespectacled boy gave a corresponding grin (which sent unconscious shudders through Waya and Akira) and took off his glasses. Wiping it carefully with his shirt, he spoke calmly and concisely, as if speaking to two-year-olds.

“In case you haven’t figured it out by now, Shindo has decided to move in with me.” He fixed his glasses back in place and pinned stern eyes on the flummoxed duo. “I am sorry to say this, Akira, but you are going to have to move out.”