Possession:

Sometimes I think it rains so much heavier on the days I get to meet him again. Not that I am complaining or anything, but it feels so much gloomier and yet...intimate in a strange kind of way.

Believe me, it’s no fun running all the way down here under the pouring rain just to get a chance to play with him. Feh...I would rather sit at home and study some kifu or play by myself...............

Yeah, right.

And so here I am...on another rainy Thursday evening sitting across my long time rival and...friend? Somehow I doubt that. I really do not know why that should bother me. It should be enough that he finally acknowledges me instead of me having to chase after him forever, hoping that he would recognize my own strength for once.

It was all Sai’s fault, really. If it wasn’t for his persistent and incessant cries for a game of Go on that fateful summer day, I would never have walked into this place. If it weren’t for the love of a game and the need to satisfy a need within the kind spirit, I would never have volunteered to play against the smiling boy that had walked up to me.

That was until I changed everything.

On that day, I had met a boy with a cheerful disposition. A boy with a smile that seemed able to brighten any bleak day. And then...

....he played with Sai.

I rub my hands wearily over my eyes, the image of his face as he had stared at defeat rushing to my mind like a torrential downpour. I could still feel the heart ache and only now do I really understand how he must have felt at the time.

To be considered as one of the top players in the Go world at such an age...to have no real rivals to stand up to your power and strength...and then for I to walk into your life and to change all of that...

I guess I deserved your wrath, Touya.

But you were angry with the wrong person...or perhaps you were really angry with me. After all, I wasn’t serious. I hadn’t taken anything you or Sai did at the time as any thing worth my time and energy. To me, Go was nothing more than a stupid board game that my grandfather was fond of playing.

Now, I know only too well.

You kept chasing after him, while I was only able to stand back and watch. That look in your eyes was reserved only for him. And soon I found myself thinking...

Would you ever look at me in the same way? Would I be able to stand in your presence and declare to you that I am ready for your approval? I might be the possessor of one of the greatest Go players that ever lived...but do I really possess the strength to be seen as a worthy rival?

Heh, you only fueled that passion for me, Touya. Do you know that? That day...outside the Internet Cafe, when you gave me that look full of mockery and amusement – you dared me to come after you. You thought that I would never make it, didn’t you? Perhaps you thought that I would shiver and turn away from your presence, didn’t you?

Well, no way in hell was that going to happen! You set out a challenge for me and I was determined to face and meet you head on.

I became a man possessed.

The need to be at your level. The need for you to acknowledge me. I worked hard, Touya. Harder than I have ever done for anything else in my life. My days and nights were filled with thoughts of seeing you across me...over a goban. Ready to place our hearts and skills to the test. I yearned, burned, craved for the moment you would finally look at me with those same eyes that you had once reserved for only Sai.

Well, Sai is no more, Touya. I have become Sai...in a way. And I think that you see it in me now. I smile softly to myself, knowing that even though I have finally achieved what I have longed for...my satisfaction will never be fulfilled until we both attain the coveted ‘Hand of God.’

Oh, shit! It’s almost time for me to go home! And you haven’t even placed your stone yet. What in Kami’s name are you thinking about? I steal another glance at you, seeing nothing besides that contemplative and almost cold look in your eyes. It’s like I can almost hear your thoughts. Strange, isn’t it?

A second goes by....then a minute...then five minutes more. We aren’t playing speed Go, but damn it! You are taking way too long!

"Oi...Touya...aren't you ever going to play? You are taking an awfully long time to think. I have to get back home by eight, remember?"

"Eh? Oh...s...sorry."

Sheesh, had he been falling asleep on me?!

"You have lost, Shindo."

I blink in surprise at the smug statement before turning my eyes to the stone formations on the board. Sure enough, the bastard had thought way ahead of me and the pattern I had set out to throw him off in the long run, had been destroyed by a simple move that I had failed to see.

I cannot believe it!!

"Wha...?? Aaaaargghh!! This is what happens when I sit here listening to you think! I am going home!"

"Same time next Thursday, Shindo?"

"Hmph! Whatever you say, Touya. See you around.”

I stomp out of the club, not forgetting to pick up my book bag that Ichikawa-san had been so kind to hold out for me. I am angry, furious, flabbergasted at my simple mistake. How could I have lost my just one dumb move?!

But then again...as I finally step out into the soggy streets, allowing the rain to drench my shivering body...I realize, with a small smile, that I truly loved this game.

And what made it even better was that I had someone who shared a similar passion for it.

I open up my umbrella to begin the short walk to the train station, but not before turning around to stare up into the windows of the Go Salon. I can still see him sitting there and if my guess is correct...he would be recreating our game all over again. My smile widens as I shake my head.

Hai, Touya’s possession is just as bad as mine.

“ARIGATO, TOUYA!!” I suddenly bellow, ignoring the odd looks I receive as I begin to laugh in indescribable pleasure. My heart feels so much lighter. I feel so...free. “Thank you....for everything...”

I spin on my heels and run away. I guess he must have heard me or sensed me...for he had turned to look out the window again.

Heheh....enjoy your victory now, Touya. For next time...I will have the upper hand.

~ Owari ~