Omake: The Case of the Missing Cat -1.
The GW Gang does Sherlock Holmes.
The
setting is England in the early forties…
/Heero:
Wasn’t Sherlock Holmes set in the nineteenth century? /
Oh…sorry…
The
setting is England in the late nineteenth century – in the year 1892 to be
exact. It is a cold and dreary night as the rains had just fallen earlier in
the day. The familiar cobbled streets are filled with puddles. Dim lights from
late sleepers flicker in windows on the quiet street as only a few brave souls
dare venture out into the night. The sound of a carriage coming down the road
is the only sign of life besides these creatures of the night. The thick fog
barely makes it visible as the horse neighs in protest while trotting along as
carefully as it can.
We
are in 221b Baker Street. One of the most famous streets in all of England for
it houses the greatest detective of all time – Detective Heero Yuy and his
famous sidekick…
/Duo:
Hello? Colleague? Assistant? Hell, even Doctor would do, damn it! /
Eh…right…
Detective
Heero Yuy and his famous colleague – Dr. Duo Maxwell.
/Duo:
*grumbling * My outfit itches./
Deal
with it…please?
221b
was a rather large Victorian lodging house that had become more than just a
home to Detective Yuy. It had also become an office, of sorts, for all the
cases that had come their way over the years. Detective Yuy was quite proud of
his work, but especially much prouder of his side…colleague, Dr. Maxwell.
Mrs.
Une, their landlady and housemaid…
/Lady
Une: * looking quite upset* Mrs. Hudson was not a housemaid./
/Relena: Oh, yes she was! *whips out Official Guidebook to Sherlock Holmes * It says here that Mrs. Hudson was not only the landlady of the lodge, but she also took charge of cleaning and cooking for the detectives./
May
we continue our story now?!
/Mutual grumbles from everyone./
Okay.
On this cold and dreary night, the carriage that came plodding down the street
was one that was rarely seen around these parts. It was made of the finest wood
with intricate gold designs on its sides. It obviously spoke of wealth and
prestige and as it made a stop in front of the famous house, a gas lamp, being
held by the landlady, could be seen heading out from the small wrought iron
gates and towards it.
The
carriage doors opened and two men with a distinguished air about them stepped
out of it. They were both dressed in the finest of evening wear and as they
took off their top hats to bow at the woman that greeted them, one could make
out the shocking fairness of the slightly shorter man and the responding
darkness of his companion.
The
fair man smiled warmly at the woman. “Good evening, Mrs. Une. We are here to
see Detective Yuy.”
“Ah
yes, you must be Inspectors Quatre Winner and Trowa Barton of Scotland Yard?”
The woman gave a soft nod and began to lead the way up a flight of stairs and
into the small living room. “Detective Yuy and Dr. Maxwell have been waiting
for you. Please follow me.”
The
two inspectors exchanged quick glances but said nothing as they followed
quietly. Both had, of course, heard of the greatness of Detective Yuy’s
sleuthing skills. And even though Inspector Barton had not wanted to come this
far, Winner had insisted. For this particular case, there would have to rely on
the proud detective’s input.
/Duo:
* in slight awe while thumbing through book with Relena* Man…did you know that
good ol’ Sherlock was a druggie? Says here that he used to inject himself with
cocaine three times a week at least. * eyes Heero warily* Hmmm…/
/Heero:
…Don’t even go there./
/Authors trying desperately to get this story told./
/Zechs:
Why don’t we just kill off the lead characters and get on with my scene./
/Wufei:
I will have to agree. Where do I come in?!/
/It’s
coming, guys. Please be patient. * groans*/
Mrs.
Une knocked lightly on the door and at the muffled reply of ‘Enter’, she pushed
it open and led the two Inspectors within the hallowed walls of the famous…
/Duo:
Enough with the praising. I think it’s going to Heero’s head./
/Hilde:
* eyes said swollen head* Hmm…you do have a point there…/
/Author
is suddenly seen in mega-chibi sized form brandishing her pen like a weapon./ May we finish?!
/…/
Now,
this room, which also served as an office, a chemistry lab and a doctor’s room,
was furnished rather tastefully. In two armchairs by the fireplace, sat
Detective Yuy and Dr. Maxwell. The young detective was dressed in a silk rich
burgundy housecoat with matching slippers on his feet.
/Relena:
* shudders* Such horrible colors…/
He
had a pipe stuck in his mouth as his piercing blue gaze remained firmly fixed
on the doctor before him. He barely gave a glance to the newcomers and instead
said calmly.
“Thank
you, Mrs. Une. I’ll take it from here.”
The
woman gave another polite bow before making her way out of the room. The two
inspectors stood uncomfortably within the confined space, while staring at the
room in silent awe. There was a violin placed carefully beside the fireplace
with some music sheets laying across the floor. It was obvious that the instrument
had been played sometime in the evening. There was the dull smell of some sort
of chemical concoction and it could only have come from the still sizzling
glass flask on the detective’s desk. The heavy smell of tobacco overrode that,
however, and Inspector Quatre sneezed before giving an apologetic glance at his
scowling partner.
“Ah,
Inspectors Winner and Barton,” the good doctor with eyes of darkest violet,
greeted with a warm smile. He was dressed in a light brown casual evening suit,
which was quite pleasing to the eye. His long chestnut-colored hair was done in
a thick braid that fell over his shoulder. Everyone was quite aware of how
important Dr. Maxwell was to Detective Yuy. The two men were virtually
inseparable.
“Perhaps
you should make yourself comfortable in my seat,” Maxwell offered with a
winning smile.
“Oh,
don’t mind if I do,” Inspector Winner answered with a smile of his own. But it
seemed like his partner had other things in mind.
“We
do not have the time to waste, Quatre. I trust that you know why we are here,
Detective?”
Yuy,
who had eyed his companion’s actions with wariness, puffed out a cloud of smoke
from his pipe before rising to his feet to pin the trademark intense look of
scrutiny on the taller police inspector.
“You
are here about the missing cat, are you not?” came the rather smug reply.
Dr.
Maxwell and Inspector Winner gasped in disbelief at the amazing deduction. How
had Detective Yuy known?
“Surely
you are a man of psychic means, Heero,” Maxwell gushed as he reached for his
notebook to scribble down this little moment of historic proportions. “You
already knew the case before Inspector Barton…”
“That
is because it was in the newspaper today, Dr. Maxwell,” Inspector Trowa
interrupted while whipping out the ‘London Times’ from seemingly nowhere.
“How
astute of you, Inspector,” Heero drawled lazily as he placed his hands behind
his back and paced around the small room. “The case involves Lady Relena’s
Persian cat that was given to her by the Queen for her twentieth birthday. It
is believed that this cat is worth over a million pounds.”
/Duo:
Whoa! That is one expensive kitty./
/Hilde:
Why can’t anyone buy me a cat like that?/
/Authors…growling./
/Eeep!/
“Surely you will help us, Detective Yuy,” Quatre asked before accepting the cup of tea that Dr. Maxwell had been so kind to offer. “My word…” He took a sip. “Oh, my goodness. Arabian tea! How did you know that it was my favorite?”
The kind doctor was all too willing to share his knowledge of teas. “Why, this was sent to me from some of my friends in India – since my past duties were in India. A special and rare blend if you ask me…”
Detective
Yuy coughed.
“…these
are specially made in the highlands of Switzerland actually. They have a light
flavor to it, don’t you think?”
A
much louder cough was given.
Inspector
Quatre agreed with a firm nod, eyes widened in fascination. “It truly does have
a wonderful light…”
“Gentlemen!”
The
two men eyed the bristling Detective with bemused looks on their faces. “Have you
discovered something fascinating, Heero?” Duo asked quickly. “You look quite…”
“Isn’t
this story supposed to be about my genius?!” came the petulant cry.
Inspector
Trowa groaned in disbelief while making himself comfortable on the
armchair. And as he closed his eyes to
relax, he soon found himself being tossed unceremoniously to the floor.
“What
the…?”
/Duo:
*in a very solemn tone * No one lies in the famous armchair. It’s Heero’s
thinking space. Lay on it and you die./
/Hilde:
Talk about over reaction. *snorts */
/Heero:
Blame the writer, not me./
/Trowa:
*noticing that author is about to write a death scene quickly silences the
others * Shssh, I think she is about to kill one of us off./
/Group
falls dead silent (no pun intended)/
The
famous detective puffed out another cloud of smoke before giving a small nod.
“Who are our suspects in this case, Inspector Trowa?”
The
officer, still angry at being pulled off the armchair, pulled out a piece of
paper from his pocket. “Our number one suspect is of course, Professor…Zechs
Merquise.”
/Cue scary music and lightening flash outside of window…which sends Relena squealing in fear and clinging onto…Fumoffu??/ (Okay, now HOW did THAT get here?? -_-;; )
Dr.
Maxwell did not understand. “What would Professor Zechs Merquise…”
/Scary
music comes up again./
/Duo:
Okay, do we always have to have that song played whenever we mention that guy’s
name?/
/Zechs:
*looking quite spiffy in his black nineteenth century ensemble * I am Yuy’s
archenemy after all. /
/Duo:
*irritated * And your point is?/
/Wufei:
Get on with the story!!!/
“What
would Professor Zechs Merquise…?”
A
pregnant silence fell as everyone blinked in confusion at the now silent
doctor. “Eh…Dr. Maxwell? Have you forgotten your lines…again?” Heero asked
slowly already knowing the answer.
Quatre
whispered something quickly into the doctor’s ears and nodding in response, the
man with the braid spoke up again. “Why would Professor Zechs Merquise want
Relena’s cat?”
The
famous detective shook his head. “Not now, my dear Maxwell. We shall come to
the bottom of this case soon enough.” He waved towards Inspector Barton. “You
may proceed, sir.”
“Second
on our list is Prince Wufei of China. He is a guest at Lady Relena’s house and
a possible suspect as well.”
Now,
Dr. Maxwell was really confused. “But why would…”
“Shssh,
my dear Maxwell,” Heero chided softly. “Let the inspector finish.”
“Third
on our list is Lady Hilde, Relena’s twin sister…”
/Hilde:
Whoa back up there! Do I look anything like Relena? How can I be her twin
sister?!/
/Dorothy:
I don’t mind being her twin sister./
/Quatre:
And where did you come from?/
/Relena:
* shrugs* I don’t mind having two twin sisters./
/Duo:
So, Relena is part of a triplet? Wow…this is some wacky story./
/Heero:
So what? We can only assume that Hilde and Dorothy were perhaps separated at
birth and were made to live far away from the Peacecraft household, thereby
creating a scenario where the three ladies had no idea that they were actually
blood related in the first place./
/…/
/Duo:
* whispers into Trowa’s ear* You think Heero is taking this detective thing a
bit too seriously?/
/Trowa:
* not really sure of what to say*/
“And
our final suspect is Lady Dorothy who is also a twin sister to Lady Relena.”
The Inspector finished with a wan smile. “That’s the list of people we have
now, Detective. Is there anything else you would like from us?”
The
three men watched the famous detective ‘hmm’ softly, before he finally spoke
up. “That would be all for now, Inspector. I already got your report this
morning and I will be working on it shortly. Please give my regards to the
Chief. Tell him that I will have this case solved by tomorrow evening.”
The
men gasped in shock.
“Surely
you do not know the perpetrator already, Detective!” Inspector Winner cried
out.
Heero
Yuy gave an enigmatic smile. “Perhaps so, my dear Inspector. Perhaps so.”
/Quatre:
* trying very hard to stifle a giggle*/
/Heero:
??…?/
/Quatre:
* you…saying ‘my dear’. I just don’t…don’t see…* gives up and collapses on
floor in heap of helpless giggles*/
/Hilde:
* getting antsy* Someone call the guys in white!/
/Zechs:
Please continue with the story./
Once
the inspectors were gone, the two friends remained sitting before the fireplace
in deep thought. Dr. Maxwell knew better than to bring up a discussion now. His
companion had gone into his contemplative state and there was nothing he could
do about it. An hour later and finding himself about to doze off, a light tap
on his shoulder roused him up quickly.
“Wha…what?
What is it, Heero?” he asked a bit wildly as he noticed the familiar glint of
excitement in the brilliant man’s eyes.
“Get
your jacket, Maxwell,” the Detective enthused with a wide grin. “We are going
to expose the person responsible for kidnapping Lady Relena’s cat.”
“Alright!”
The
good doctor rose to his feet and picked up his warm jacket, only to blink as he
watched his partner make his way out the door.
“Eh…Heero?”
The
detective spun around with an impatient look on his features. “What is it now, Maxwell?”
The
doctor shrugged into his jacket with a smirk. “Don’t you think you should
change out of your dressing robe first? Surely you do not intend to walk the
streets of London in that outfit.”
“Ah.
Too true, Maxwell. Too true.”
And
so it was, that our two greatest sleuths set out to solve the greatest
kidnapping mystery in the history of…greatest kidnapping mysteries.
Join
us next time for the exciting conclusion to this wonderful tale of murder…
/Duo:
What murder?!/
…mystery
and intrigue, on the next episode of…
Detective
Heero Yuy and The Case of the Missing Cat – Part 2!!
/Wufei:
I can’t believe I still didn’t get in this chapter./
/Author:
Don’t worry. You’ll get more love in the second part. I promise * bats lashes*
/
/Wufei:
* gags*/
Notes:
Fumoffu – that lovable teddy bear
aka Sousuke Sagara in Full Metal Panic.