The Untouchable Prize:
Again, she yells at me,
calling me an insensitive bastard – a man with no heart. How could I treat her
in such a way? Why hadn’t I called her? Was she only good to sleep with and
then leave the next day? She loved me. Couldn’t I see that?
I light up a cigarette and
shake my head slowly. What’s the point of arguing with a woman scorned? I doubt
I will be seeing much of her in the future. As things stand, I am beginning to
get very tired of putting up this goddamn act. Maintaining a relationship with
the opposite sex as well as dealing with my new status in the Go world is a bit
tricky. One can never be too careful these days.
Especially with these young
ones coming up.
Damn. I hate that.
Will you call me? She asks
around a sniffle. I wasn’t even aware she had begun crying. Was that my fault
too? I shake my head again, careful to keep my expression passive and
non-committal. She begins to go into another tirade again and I use the
opportunity to take my leave. What’s the point after all?
The drive is relaxing…if you
can call going through Tokyo traffic relaxing. I had no real intentions of
stopping by the Go Institute, but as always, I find myself pulling up again.
It’s Thursday which could only mean one thing.
He’s going
to be there. No, they are both going
to be there.
The old geezer had called
them eternal rivals. I spit at that. What did he know about rivalry?
I pull out another stick from the cigarette pack, aware that I am running short. My hands are trembling a little and I curse softly, knowing full well why they were acting that way. I was still reeling from my win over him in the last match we played. I had acted a bit too brash, almost as if I had wanted him to finally acknowledge me or something.
For years I have had to
listen to him call me ‘sensei’. Sensei-this and Sensei-that. He would have this
innocent look in those wide green eyes of his as he asked me questions upon
questions. I was supposed to be a big brother to him. Touya Kouyo had said that
himself.
“Be a brother to him.
Teach him all that you know.”
If only they know just where
my loyalties and intentions truly lie.
He will be seventeen in a few
weeks. Impossible to imagine, but the truth all the same. I have watched him
grow up right before my eyes and even now…to think of such things about my
‘brother’ is enough to make me feel sick to my stomach. But not in a bad way,
mind you.
Perhaps you would think me
perverted for thinking of him in such a light. Or that I must be mentally sick
to have such impure thoughts about a boy of that age. Heh, think as you like, I
will make no apologies for the way I feel.
He is making his way towards
the building now. I see that Ichikawa has volunteered to drive him again. That
woman is no fool. She has begun to see the beauty that I have long admired in
him. I just hope she doesn’t plan on making any foolish moves towards him. I
would hate to know that I will be competing not just with his rival, but with a
female too.
Utter nonsense.
As usual, he is dressed in
something rather…unflattering, if you ask me. Why he insists on wearing such
dowdy sweaters is beyond me. I really must ask his mother permission to take
him shopping someday. Hmmm…or perhaps now that it looks as if he is about to
leave his parents’ clutches, I can convince him to allow me to take him out on
a shopping spree someday.
I wouldn’t mind wasting my
time and money on you.
He is laughing and I feel my
heart give a sickening lurch. It’s almost embarrassing to think that he is
capable of making me feel butterflies in my stomach with such a simple act. I
am too old to have such teenage tendencies towards love or anything of that
such. At my age, one has to take such things in stride. To be rational. To
think through…
“Ah, Ogata-sensei! What are you
doing here?”
I start from my daydream and
stare at the very object of my thoughts staring right back at me through the
window of my car. He is mere inches away from me with that small but
unbelievably sexy smile…yes, you heard right – he does have a smile that can
make even the staunchest of men take notice. It’s almost hypnotic and I haven’t
even gotten to his eyes yet.
To taste them…someday…any
day…be it by accident or on purpose, would be the high point of my life, I
think. It’s a bit sad to think that just allowing myself to touch this boy
would make me really happy, but that, I am afraid, is my fate.
To watch and admire from
afar.
Finally finding my voice, I
reply as coolly as I can manage. “How are you, Aki…?”
“Touya!” Comes the cry that
sets my teeth on edge and almost sends the cigarette falling to my lap. Why?
Why does the rival have to show up now?
And sure enough, that
undeniable sparkle fills his eyes, making him glow in a way that I know he will
never show for me. My jealousy runs deep, boiling down to the very core of my
soul as I watch him turn away to face the boisterous teen running towards him.
Two peas in a pod. Eternal
rivals. Destined to be together…
What a load of crap.
“Excuse me, Ogata-sensei,” he
says around an apologetic smile. “I have to go up now. Will you be watching
today?”
“No,” I reply quietly as I
inhale another lungful of smoke. “Perhaps we will meet tonight at your parents’
home. We can discuss or play a game there if you like.”
“All right,” he agrees, a bit
too quickly. It’s obvious he can’t wait to see his precious rival again. “I’ll
see you later, sensei.”
Seiji. My name is Seiji. Sensei is a name reserved for those
of utmost respect. I do not deserve that, as my thoughts of you are anything
but honorable. I long for the day when my name will spill forth from your lips
in wild abandon. Perhaps you will be writhing on sheets beneath me in my
domain, never wanting to let me go.
Heh, a man is allowed to
dream, isn’t he?
“Ah…” I finally reply and
give a small nod, idly noticing that the loud-mouthed kid had greeted me as
well.
I watch them both walk into
the building together. My brow raises in mild surprise as I notice that they
are holding hands. So, it seems like my hunch was correct after all. They are
friends now. Just how friendly? I do not know, neither do I want to.
I will watch for now and keep
my impure thoughts to myself but one day, I will make him mine completely.
After all, the old geezer had said the same thing himself.
‘Good things come to those
who wait.’
I am not a patient man by
nature, but for this precious prize of mine, I will wait for as long as it
takes.
~Owari~