Chapter 13:
Preparations
The
knell of the bells at the Gion temple
Echoes the impermanence of all things.
The colour of the flowers on its double-trunked tree
Reveals the truth that to flourish is to fall.
He who is proud is not so for long,
Like a passing dream on a night in spring.
He who is brave is finally destroyed,
To be no more than dust before the wind.
-Heike
Monogatari
The
new moon rises with each stirring of dusk; large, iridescent, and serene, it
almost kisses the top of the mountains as it approaches its zenith. Many agree
that they have never seen it so close to the earth, but those who are wise - and
consider themselves a dying breed - realize the significance of its
intimidating aura. The festival-of-death was finally upon them, and not even a change in schedule could diminish the
pregnant anticipation that smothered the air. In the summer days, it was almost
stifling with its intensity for the stench of the sinners’ dying wails and
decaying flesh choked those who felt ‘purified’ and free from their unfortunate
fates. In this winter chill, however, where breaths created miniature fogs and
bodies huddled together for warmth, the ambience was still the same.
The
week of Gudan was upon them – too sudden, true – but it was still a time for the
‘lucky ones’ to prepare themselves for a yearly ritual they simply no longer
questioned. They had longed learned that speaking of its barbaric nature was
likely to result in a fate worse than death. The foolish ones who had protested
in the early days...where were they now? Vanished without a
trace and with nothing left to their names. Nowadays, most were avid
students and followers of Lord Orochimaru’s doctrines; blindly led by the
teachings of the white-skinned man with eyes that blazed like gold when
passionate about his unorthodox beliefs. For those who still lived in doubt - those
who still dared to question such acts of ‘mercy’ in the form of executions –
they had to be content with remaining in the shadows for speaking of such
things aloud was likely to have you betrayed by the one you least expected. You
could trust no one; not even oneself.
It
was without irony that the very week of the ‘festival’ was quite somber. When
evening fell, it was not uncommon to see most of the streets devoid of human or
vehicular traffic. The people seemed content to remain within the safe confines
of their homes lighting candles at miniature shrines to engage in hour long
prayers or indulging in various purification rites. For those who were not
content to remain at home, they huddled in restaurants and bars; bodies hunched
over tables while nursing cold or tepid beverages and discussing the upcoming
events beneath their breaths. They could name one or two people they knew who
were destined for the afterlife, and though there were mild feelings of pity
and regret, it was safe to say that they considered themselves grateful to
still be alive.
In
just a few days, they would be forced to march into Byaku-Shinkyou, to sit
within the man-made arena, and to pass judgment on their fellow human while
cheering in their loudest voices. Were they really any different from the
Romans who garnered joy and entertainment from watching hungry lions feast on
wretched slaves during gladiator battles in ancient times? Hardly. At least they were spared the agony of watching the flesh being ripped off from
the sinners of today. Lord Orochimaru was indeed a merciful and benevolent
leader.
May
Buddha have mercy on their poor, lost souls.
__
As
the horse clip, clopped quietly down
the narrow street, it was hard to reconcile that this was the same busy
intersection which had been bustling with activity earlier in the day. It was
only eight in the evening, and yet only a few people stood around or walked by briskly
in their heavy coats or jackets, as one or two cars sped off in the distance.
Like a
freakin’ ghost town…
The
rider came to a stop before the inn – a townhouse tucked between a haberdashery
and sword shop (though both seemed closed at this hour). A young boy – of about
thirteen – stepped out of the shadows to assist the large figure off his horse,
in turn receiving quite a generous tip for his services. He watched as his
horse was taken toward the back of the building, before shaking himself from
his dazed stupor and stepping into the inviting warmth of the inn.
Not
surprising, it was hardly full tonight, but his large presence was enough to
have the few heads in the room turning in his direction. They were just as
quick to dismiss him, and not because of the hooded robe he was wearing that
hid most of his features from view. They must have sensed he was not going to
cause trouble as he gave a friendly smile to the old man (and owner of the
establishment) who welcomed him with a polite bow.
“He
is at the back room,” came the hushed whisper after
pleasantries were exchanged. “Kaide will take you to him.”
“Thank
you, Ichiro-san,” the big man replied. He smiled at the pretty girl in the
pastel kimono, who blushed in return and led the way past the low tables and
chairs, and toward the back of the main dining area. She pushed aside the door
made of woven straw, ushering him down a narrow corridor barely lit with
lanterns hanging from the wooden walls. Though she seemed to walk as if on air;
her feet soundless within her socks, he was embarrassingly aware of how loud
and almost clumsy his were, for the old floors creaked and groaned with every
step he took. She finally came to a stop at the last room and with a final bow and
smile to the man, she slipped away as quietly as she
had arrived.
He
waited until she was completely out of sight before lowering the hood and
knocking lightly.
“Enter,”
came the barely audible response, but it was enough for him to slide open the shoji screen door and let himself into the small private room. It was just big enough
to contain a futon, which was already prepared for its occupant. Two standing lanterns
illuminated the room and the silent figure that was sitting by and staring out
the window. Dressed in a dark blue yukata, with a leg outstretched and the
other raised to his chest, the long-haired man gave the illusion of being
relaxed and unconcerned, though the newcomer was smart enough to know that
wasn’t the case. Beneath the slender build, raven ponytail, and unassuming
profile was a man who could almost be considered dangerous.
“You
look well...Asuma,” came the softly-spoken greeting, though the man still
hadn’t turned his gaze away from the enormous moon that seemed to peek over the
rooftops of the houses across the street.
“So
do you,” Asuma grunted in response, while settling down across his companion
and digging into his robes for his cigarettes. “I trust you had a good trip?”
“Yes.
I had no trouble. The people have been kind.”
“Hn.” He finally
found them and lit one gratefully; faintly alarmed to see that his hand was
shaking a little. He tried to blame it on the cold weather.
“The
mountains haven’t changed,” came the quiet observation
after several long minutes of companionable silence.
“Those
never change,” Asuma replied with a small smile. “Been a while, huh?”
A
matching smile came to the other man’s lips. “It has...I haven’t been here
since...” He shrugged lightly; allowing the yukata to slide off his left
shoulder and revealing some more expanse of pale flesh. He made no attempt to
put it back in place.
“The
town has expanded a lot since then,” he mused thoughtfully. “I don’t recall half
of the buildings I noticed while sightseeing earlier.”
“That’s
because the sinners who got released settled down here; those who had no place
else to go,” Asuma replied dryly. He flicked away some ash into a jade
dragon-shaped ashtray. “More than half of the people here are loyal to him
because of that. They truly believe he saved their lives. Hmph.”
He
took a long drag of his cigarette and stared out the window as well, though he
noticed the other man’s hand had formed a tight fist on his raised knee.
“He
can’t wait to see you,” Asuma finally said quietly. “...though I wonder what
he’s going to think when he does see it’s...well...you.”
The man’s lips quirked in a wan smile. “Then I guess
I owe him a big apology, hmm?”
“It’s
not going to be as easy as saying ‘sorry’, Mister. He’s going to have a lot of
questions to ask you...that or he’ll kill you himself. Whichever comes first.”
He
chuckled and shrugged lightly. “Me being alive is an
even bigger threat to Orochimaru and Sasuke’s life. We both know that...”
Asuma
rubbed his forehead and gave a weary sigh. “Don’t I know it. It’s a miracle you’re still around to be honest.”
Indeed.
“How
is he doing?” came the question barely coated with his
concern.
Asuma
gave a small but sad smile. “Take a wild guess. He’s gone into that mode again
where he’s got to prepare himself for the ‘rituals’.” He quoted the air as he
said this. “I hardly see him especially with this final week. He’s either
cooped up in the temple with the priests or buried in his Great Book trying to
seek justification for his actions.” He sighed again and banged his head
lightly against the wall as if admonishing his failures. “Still...I have no
doubt that this new format is weighing hard on his mind. He knows if he ends up
with a stronger fighter...he might not make it, which is why I’ve taken
precautions.”
“...precautions?”
Asuma
gave a light wink. “If my instincts are right, I think he just might make it
through the battle at the end.”
“You
aren’t making any sense, Asuma.”
The
big man sat up and leaned toward his companion in earnest. “There is this
sinner called Uzumaki Naruto. He’s a great kid with lots of potential, and my
hunch is that he makes it through the main fight to face Sasuke at the end.
What I am banking on, is that Naruto will not have the heart to kill Sasuke.
Hell, I don’t even think Naruto has the heart to kill anyone, but he realizes
he’s got to do what needs to be done to survive.”
“And
what makes you think he won’t kill Sasuke when the time comes?”
“Because he doesn’t know about it
yet.”
“...what?”
Asuma
took another drag of his cigarette before crushing it out completely. “I did
not mention that Sasuke would be his final opponent. For a couple of weeks, I
trained him – Naruto that is – and made him believe that he’d only have to
fight with the other sinners, and if he was the last one standing...he’d be
free. I did not mention that he’d have one more obstacle to overcome.”
A
loud groan accompanied this announcement. “Why in God’s name didn’t you tell
him? Don’t you think it would give him more of an incentive to want to win? Or
do you think Sasuke has a chance against him?”
“Well...there
is that,” Asuma replied with a rub of his chin. “But there is also the fact
that those two have this...thing...this connection between them that makes it
impossible for either of them to kill each other off.” He paused as he recalled
Sasuke just about to finish off Naruto in the dojo and decided he had better
not share that particular incident.
“Are
they friends?” came the innocuous question that had
Asuma nearly choking on himself with laughter.
“Friends? Hah. Hardly.”
“So
your plan could backfire on you.”
“Hn.”
“What
if Sasuke ends up killing this Naruto? What then was your purpose in teaching
him to defend himself without telling him the whole truth? Were you so willing
to risk either man’s life just as an experiment?”
Asuma
squeezed his eyes shut and counted inwardly to ten. “You see, this is why I
hate talking to you. You always manage to make my good intentions look stupid.”
He lifted his lashes to glare at his companion. “Call it nothing but the hunch
of an old man looking for any form of redemption. I don’t know what’s going to
happen any more than you do, but I can only hope that either of them realizes
that it will be pointless to kill each other…”
“And Orochimaru?”
“What
about him?”
The
long-haired man gave a smile that could be considered cold. “Do you really
think he’ll let either boy go if they decide to shake hands and call a truce? I
heard Shimura Danzo, and a whole other hosts of delegates from the government,
will be attending this event. I doubt Orochimaru will be pleased to see that no
body counts – at least those that matter to him – would be tallied. He will
stop at nothing to prove his power to those blood-thirsty fools.”
He grit his teeth and turned to look out the window; his
hands still clenched fists on his knees. “For years we have tried to eliminate
him; assassination attempts or sending spies to infiltrate Byaku-Shinkyou, and
what do we get for our efforts? More deaths and unnecessary
bloodshed. Shisui believes that there’s probably a spy among us; someone
who tells him about our activities, which would be the only way to explain how
he is always a step ahead of us.” He expelled a breath of frustration. “Though
we have done our best to remain in the shadows all these years, the rumblings
are beginning that we were the ones responsible for the police station
bombings. I’m sure you realize by now who was really behind all this.”
Asuma
nodded thoughtfully. It was a twisted and psychopathic way of running things,
but then again, this was Shimura Danzo we were talking about here. Between him
and Orochimaru, Asuma didn’t know who was the lesser of two evils. However, it
was his companion’s earlier words, of those who had lost their lives in their
effort to eradicate Orochimaru that hit him hard.
What a way to
end a life…
Asuma
could still remember Sasuke’s expression when he finally delivered the news
about Ino’s death. It was not pretty. Was Death ever that way? The young woman
had been disposed like trash…literally. Her mutilated body was found in a black
trash bag which had been tossed into a compost pit on the outskirts of Kyoto.
The morbid photographs taken by authorities were ones Asuma would have rather
not shown Sasuke, but the young man had insisted on seeing them for himself;
perhaps to clear any doubts he might have had and to verify that she simply no
longer existed.
Asuma
wasn’t sure if he had expected Sasuke to burst into tears or rant in rage, and
in retrospect, any of those reactions would have been considered normal.
However, all Sasuke had done was look at the photographs with those dark eyes
that had been unreadable and painfully devoid of emotion. He especially spent
long minutes staring at the horrifying picture of a body that was barely
recognizable. Who knew what hell that poor woman had gone through all in her quest
to protect him? There had been no tears…no wailing…no justifiable rage expressed by the young man. All he had done was tuck the
photos within his kimono, thank Asuma for his hard work, before turning back to
the pile of paperwork on his desk without another word.
“He
is hurting,” Asuma muttered quietly to himself. “He’s got to be.”
“Who
is?”
Asuma
looked up and into features that bore similarities to the young man he had just
about raised all these years in his stead. Besides the deeply etched lines on
his companion’s face, it was not hard to see the resemblance. Only he would
know how agonizing it was for this man to choose his way of life all in an
effort to protect the one closest to him.
“Your
baby brother,” Asuma finally replied with a sad smile. “Hardly a baby now,
but…”
“I
know,” came the quiet reply. The anger that had filled
those dark eyes were now fading to regret. “I know,
Asuma, but there is something I must confess…”
“What’s
that?”
The
long-haired man gave a smile and weak chuckle. “A part of me did not want to
come back here. I did not want to have to face him after all this time. It made
me realize just how much of a coward I really am -”
“No,
you aren’t. You had to do what you had -”
“Spare
me your kind words, Asuma, as much as I appreciate them. I made him believe I
was dead, and a part of me wonders what good my showing up now will do to him.
I expect resentment, and though a foolhardy part of me envisions a loving
reunion, I know it will not happen. I am, honestly, more than content to
continue watching and protecting him from the shadows, the best way I know
how.”
“Well,
it’s too late to turn back now,” Asuma replied with a nod and small smile of
understanding. “I have done your job for the past fourteen years, so do me one
big favor…”
“What’s
that?”
“Whatever
you plan to tell him, it had better be good and worthwhile, Itachi, because I
think he is going to need you now…more than ever before.”
He
rose to his feet and placed a firm hand on the other’s shoulder to squeeze it
gently in reassurance. “What’s the worst that could happen, eh? Let’s just hope
that my scenario goes as planned.”
“And
if it doesn’t?” came the quiet whisper. “What if it all fails, Asuma?”
The
older man gave a wan smile and peered at the moon with an inward sigh. “Then I
have no other choice but to take responsibility for my actions, my friend. That
is a burden I am willing to bear until my last breath.”
__
Shimura
Danzo was a practical man; ambitious – yes, practical – most definitely. For
though he exuded such admirable traits to the public eye (including being a
charismatic and compelling public speaker), there was one other side of him
that many failed to notice.
His patience.
He
had not gotten to his position as a high-ranking government official through
transparent under-handed methods like most of his fellow comrades or opponents.
Whereas some of their sleazy trails (prostitution, money-laundering,
embezzlement, etc.) lingered after them like putrid stenches, Danzo always made
sure his dealings with the underworld remained that way; unseen and untraceable
by the gullible public. To them, he was nothing more than an old man who had
seen and dealt with his share of hardships under dictators of past government
administrations. He had been a blue-collar worker; rising from the ranks as a
once decorated war hero to becoming a prominent voice of the people and an
honorable representative in the DIET. His ‘sudden’ decision to quit his seat in
parliament and dedicate his life to protecting the citizens of Japan, had been seen as nothing more than a selfless service
to the nation. He would be working for less pay (supposedly), but with his
military background, it was only fitting that he’d want to work with the
foremost police force which had always been under the rule of the Uchiha clan
from its conception.
Byaku-Shinkyou
was considered the pride of Japan; an institution whose history has been so
steeped in tradition, that anything less than excellence was frowned upon. It
was why many had considered the Uchiha a bunch of snobbish, high-class elites;
those who tended to look down on others because they did not fit their status
quo. Danzo could still remember meeting the aging Uchiha Madara as a young man,
and the embarrassing way he had been treated by the clan’s oldest patriarch. He
had not been considered worthy by the great military leader; seen as nothing
more than a brown-noser and called out on it in front of other high-ranking
Uchiha members. He could still remember the young Fugaku – the one who would
eventually lead Byaku-Shinkyou – being in the room at the time. He was sure
Fugaku had taken Madara’s words to heart, for when Danzo returned years later
to show his allegiance to the Uchiha, he had a feeling Fugaku had been keeping
him at arm’s length.
There
was a coldness in their dealings; a polite tolerance if you will, and it had
grated on Danzo’s nerves to no end. No plan or idea he came up with was of any
use to the new Uchiha patriarch, and his ire was tenfold when he realized that
Orochimaru – from seemingly nowhere – had somehow ended up becoming Fugaku’s
second-in-command.
Orochimaru
– a war hero himself – had been recognized for his contributions to the war,
but disappeared for a few years from the public eye. No one knew where he was
(or even if he was still in the country) and perhaps things would have been
fine as they were (and Danzo felt he was slowly getting through to Fugaku) when
he reappeared to the public’s consciousness during a visit to the DIET with
Fugaku. To say the country was shocked to see him after being away for so long,
would have been a massive understatement. Everyone seemed to want a piece of
the brilliant soldier, who would later admit that he had spent those ten years
studying with Holy Priests and learned scholars of arts, medicine, and science
in various parts of the world. No one bothered to dig more into this, but his
influence was no doubt felt as he latched onto Fugaku and became his confidante
and ally.
With
Orochimaru now in his corner, Fugaku became even more powerful and in demand;
so much so, the prime minister was in talks to promote him to the Ministry of
Defense! What did that mean? It would mean that not only would Fugaku end up
becoming the head of the entire military service, but more resources and power
would be given to the Uchiha clan in general. There would be simply no limit to
what they could or could not do, and Danzo craved that power and influence like
a drug. He wanted to be a part of that innermost circle Orochimaru seemed privy to, hence he had gone out of his way to befriend the
white-skinned man, who also appeared to have other plans of his own.
Danzo
should have known from the beginning.
“With
your influence in the underworld, and my powers with the military and police,”
Orochimaru had confided over a private dinner. “Do you not think it beneficial
that we join forces to take control of a clan so infused with so much wealth
and prestige?”
“…what’s
in it for me?” Danzo had asked warily.
“This…”
He had pushed a blueprint of the entire layout of Byaku-Shinkyou before him.
“You will be the one in charge someday, Shimura Danzo. If you
simply leave things up to me.”
So
greedy and naïve had he been at the time, Danzo had leaped at the opportunity
without knowing Orochimaru’s true intentions. Fourteen long years later, it was
apparent that his plans had been foiled. As long as Orochimaru lived and kept
Uchiha Sasuke as the pawn in his quest to control power for as long as
possible, Danzo knew his time was running out. He had been fighting back the
only way he knew how; by blocking Orochimaru’s appointment to becoming the head
of the Ministry of Defense. As long as he lived, he was damned if he was going
to make this white-skinned freak take control of this country. He had worked
long and hard to get to this point, and nothing…absolutely nothing was going to stand in the way.
He
just hoped that one more obstacle would be eliminated with the festivities
tomorrow. If all went as planned, then Uchiha Sasuke – the one last blip to
this plan – would no longer be in the picture.
“Sometimes
one most make allowances for good fortune.”
Danzo
shook himself back to the present; his lips turning down with disdain as he
took note of what was now taking place. He was in Orochimaru’s private
quarters; having arrived earlier in the day with a few other guests. This
particular invitation by Orochimaru hadn’t been that surprising. They both
needed to talk anyway, but Danzo would have preferred not to have witnessed the
strange ritual Orochimaru seemed to pride himself in performing before his
visitor.
For
starters, he insisted that Danzo join him in a private underground onsen just
off his bedroom, where the lanky man was
be stripped down to his birthday suit and lowered into the steaming water by
two priests chanting prayers beneath their breath. His white skin would then be
pierced with large acupuncture needles in several places as he remained
floating face up in the water; eyes widened as if staring at something in the
caved ceilings no one else could. For almost half-an-hour, Orochimaru would
remain this way, while the priests prayed and continued their mindless chant.
Danzo had fully expected the man to either experience severe skin burns from
remaining in the onsen for that long or at least bleed from where the pins
stuck, but none of that happened.
When
this was completed, the needles were removed, Orochimaru was helped back to his
feet, and a parade of (actually six) effeminate young men appeared with towels
to dry him off while applying sweet smelling oils onto his skin. A robe of fine
silk and gold was then draped around his lanky frame, and his hair brushed
until it shone blue-black beneath the lanterns’ glow.
Danzo
was a patient man, but even he had his limits to how much more of this charade
he could take.
“What
are you talking about?” he finally grated beneath his breath as Orochimaru sat
daintily on his low gilded chair with armrests in the shape of snakes (hardly
surprising).
Orochimaru
smiled and licked his lips slowly. “I have found something new and delicious
among my sinful flock.”
“What?”
“Senju blood.”
Danzo
raised a brow. “Sen…ju? Impossible. They are a rare breed these days.”
“True,
considering your precious Bakufu dogs were responsible for wiping them out over
the years. Somehow, one of them slipped through the cracks. I would have
thought they’d be more careful.”
“The
Bakufu these days have no care for history or the past,” Danzo replied with a
snort. He helped himself to some sake that had been poured by yet another beautiful young man. Were there really no
women in this place? Disturbing. “Do you think they’d
really care about a descendent of the Senju?”
Orochimaru
pouted and sucked absently on a strawberry. “This one is most delectable for I
believe he just might be the son of one of those troublemakers.”
Danzo
sighed heavily. It was getting late after all and he had to be awake early for
the beginning of the festival. “Troublemakers? If I
gave you a list of everyone who has ever given me trouble over the years,
Orochimaru, we’d never leave this room tonight.”
“Hn.” Orochimaru
smirked and snapped his fingers. As if on cue, Kimimaro appeared from his
waiting place behind the shoji screen doors to present a dossier which was
placed before Danzo. Stamped on the cover was the word ‘CLASSIFIED’ and as
Danzo reached for it, he gave the other man a wary glance.
“Go
on,” Orochimaru invited with a wave of his hand. “Read it and see what I mean.
I was able to do a little research and came up with something you might
appreciate.”
On
closer inspection, there were actually two dossiers – one for a sinner called
Uzumaki Naruto and the other for…
“…what
is the meaning of this?” Danzo asked curtly as he took in the photograph of the
young man. “Why do you have a dossier on Minato Namikaze?”
“He
was a wanted criminal after all. It was found in the archives of this place,”
Orochimaru explained with a small smile. “I do believe he used to work
for…you?”
Danzo
felt the blood drain from his features, but he managed to keep his composure;
replying back curtly. “Minato was a traitor. Yes, he did work for the Bakufu,
but only as a hired gun. He fled eventually and no one knew where he was. He
was useless to me.”
“Only
after he decided he wanted to move on from killing your enemies,” Orochimaru
drawled as he pretended to eye his fingernails. “Must have been a trying job
having to assassinate so many government figures who stood in your way. The poor beautiful man. Makes me wonder how he really died -”
“Cut
the bullshit, Orochimaru,” Danzo snapped with a slam of his hand on the desk.
“Why are you bringing this up now?”
Orochimaru’s
eyes flashed with dark intent. “The one named Uzumaki Naruto just might be his
offspring, Danzo. Think about it. If he manages to kill Sasuke…wouldn’t that be
sweet revenge for Minato’s betrayal? Of course assuming that
Naruto survives the first round of battle.” He grinned and revealed
pointed canines. “If he regains his freedom…so many
possibilities to end up working for you, hmm?”
“No,
thank you,” Danzo replied tightly. “I have enough of the Syndicate as is. There
is no room for one more.”
“Are
you sure?” Orochimaru asked with a sneer. “There’s still time to make up your
mind on whether you can take him away from here…for a good price.”
“You
are insane,” Danzo hissed and rose to his feet. “Just keep your end of the deal
and make sure Uchiha Sasuke does not survive, Orochimaru. I bid you good
night.”
He
all but slammed the door shut behind him, leaving Orochimaru seething behind
the cold smile on his face.
“That
bastard,” came the low growl. There was a loud crack,
which had Kimimaro glancing sharply at his master. Orochimaru had snapped off
the head of his walking stick; his knuckles so white, it was almost
translucent. His strained and pinched features told of his fury, and knowing
Orochimaru was in no mood to engage in chit chat, he figured he could slip away
quietly –
“Where
is that boy now?” came the sudden snapped question
that jerked Kimimaro in surprise.
“The
boy…?”
“Sasuke.”
“Making
his rounds around the dungeon as is customary.”
“Order
him to come to me when he is finished.”
“Yes,
my Lord.”
He
waited until Kimimaro was out of the room before flinging the walking stick
across the room in frustration. His entire being throbbed with painful
anticipation. It might be the last night he would spend with Sasuke, and he was
determined to make it worth his while.
“My
love for you is such that I must watch you die, my dearest one,” he whispered
into his clenched fist and squeezed his eyes shut. “You
beautiful, tragic soul. I will at least give you a night of lasting
pleasure you will take to your grave.”
__
Sasuke:
Reflection is
the wisdom obtained from one’s own thinking, not just from hearing others. It
is the understanding of impermanence, suffering and essencelessness, from what
one has grasped by the means of one’s own intellect.
“You bastard! I hope you
burn in hell!”
It is the
process of intellectually analyzing something to see whether it’s logical or
rational.
“Save
me! Please save me! Good sir! I beg of you! Save me! I don’t want to die!”
Having gone
through such a process, one can then accept a teaching intellectually.
“You
condemned me to die!! I didn’t do anything and you sent me to hell! Let me out
of here!”
One may
thereby become knowledgeable about the theory of Dhamma, and may explain it to
others.
“I
don’t want your stupid food!” SPIT. “Go to hell you fucking fairy!”
Without
skipping a beat, I wiped my face with a handkerchief and moved to the next
cell. This was no time to get upset though I could still feel the low embers of
fury within me at being treated in such a manner. However, I reminded myself
that I ought to be used to it by now. One of the many rituals – and thankfully
the last of them – involved a last visit to the sinners set for Gudan tomorrow.
As their executioner (and usually last face they’d see on this earth), I was to
provide them their last meals and pray for their souls. It was nothing fancy;
just a relatively large rice ball and a small cup of blessed tea that was
supposed to appease their souls. Unfortunately, there didn’t quite seem to be
any appeased souls tonight.
Of
the twenty men set for their deaths, more than half of them had insulted or
made attempts to harm me through their grilled dungeon doors. I was accompanied
by two guards – who were handling the food and doing double duty as protectors
– so if any of the sinners dared to get too cocky, they were prodded and poked
back into submission. One of them had even had the gall to try to urinate on
us; laughing gleefully as I side-stepped the weak yellow stream before he was
beaten into silence.
Sigh.
Typical. There really
was no redemption for some of these people, was there?
One may even be able to help others realize
the fact of anicca, dukkha and anatta, but still one cannot obtain liberation
for oneself.
“Well,
well, well, a last visit from the prince, eh?” came the amused drawl from within the shadows of the dungeon before me. Though I
could not make out his features, it wasn’t hard to tell who it was. That
slicked-back gray hair was unmistakable. It was the hedonistic heathen…Hidan.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?”
I
said nothing; simply motioning for one of the guards to hand me another plate
of food and the drink. I stooped to my haunches and slipped the meal beneath
the rectangular slat opening; only to gasp in shock as I felt my hand suddenly
grabbed and my face all but slammed into the steel grille.
Fuck!
“Let
him go!” came the growls from the guards, but it was
pointless. Hidan had me in a death grip and I could feel my fingers nearly
getting crushed as his hot breath whispered into my ear.
“I
should perform the rite of Jashin right now on you,” he hissed. “Lord
Orochimaru understands, which is why he does this, didn’t you know?”
With
an effort, I tried to reach for my sword with my free hand; though the guards
were still doing their best to push him aside with their bokken. The
son-of-a-bitch still wouldn’t let go.
“You
would make such a beautiful sacrifice.” The sensation of his abrasive tongue
licking my ear finally broke my last reserve of polite temperament.
I
finally grabbed the handle of my sword, unsheathed it, and without pausing,
swung to make sure it was buried deep within the bastard’s shoulder. His howl
of pain was accompanied by him finally releasing me, and I rose to my feet just
in time to withdraw my sword before he stumbled back into the dungeon with it.
The thick metallic smell of his blood was a keen reminder of how long it had
been since I had actually used my katana on any human, and the realization that
I would be likely to shed even more tomorrow triggered something dark and
inhumane within me. I flexed my fingers – nothing broken it seemed – but his
long fingernails had left scratches etched into my skin which disgusted me.
“Haha…hahaha…”
the fool laughed, though he kept holding his bleeding left shoulder. “Good one,
oh Prince. That almost hurt.”
I
noticed he was also bleeding from cuts to his forehead and cheek; signs of the
guards having inflicted some damage as well. Still, the man looked positively
gleeful, and as he licked his blood, I knew I was dealing with a deranged
lunatic.
He might end
up being the one I fight with tomorrow, I thought wildly. None of the prisoners know exactly how it’s
going to be, so this man…if this man realizes he’s got the opportunity to kill
me…
I
spun on my heels and made my way to the last dungeon. I forced myself not to
think of it. I had done well with that all week; choosing instead of cleanse my
mind of all burdens and pressures I felt. I chose to be in the temple for the
most part; content to remain in the solitude of Buddha and the priests, who
were willing to simply pray and purify me as needed. I would not think of my
battle tomorrow. I would not think of who I might face. I would not think of my
possible death for I felt I was spiritually ready for whatever the outcome.
Besides, perhaps it would be only fitting I finally
join my family in the afterlife and even meet Ino and sincerely apologize for
her tragic ending. Not even the sinners were treated to such barbaric
techniques…at least I would have liked to believe that. Seeing those pictures
of her body; that beautiful body that I had touched and explored for the first
time in my life, become nothing more than a canvas for human brutality…
Fuck it all to
hell and back! I swear if I survive…no…WHEN I survive the fight tomorrow, I’ll
find those bastards who did that to you and kill them just as slowly and as
painfully as they must have done to you too!
I
was unaware I had pounded a fist into the wall of the cave until I felt the
sharp pain race up my arm and the subsequent bruises on my knuckles.
“Sasuke…sama?”
one of the guards asked warily. “Is everything all right?”
“Yes,”
I replied with an absent nod; wrapping my bleeding hand with the handkerchief.
“This is the last I believe.”
“Yes,
my Lord,” the guard replied.
I
already knew whose dungeon it was, and though I could still hear the cacophony
of complaints being made by the other sinners, they seemed muted and dulled in
this section of the caves. The adrenaline rush and explosion of anger felt when
dealing with Hidan, as well as my thoughts about Ino, seemed to all come to a
head as I approached the last cell.
On the contrary, there is a danger that one
may accumulate more mental defilements by developing ego since one lacks the
direct experience of wisdom.
Even
in the gloom, he literally seemed to light up the place; perhaps due to the
blond hair – which had grown even longer since I last saw him, for it now kissed
his shoulders and looked even shaggier than ever – or those piercing blue eyes
that were trained directly on me. He was sitting against the wall; knees raised
to his chest and an arm placed on them to hide his nose and mouth. He was
naked…except for a loose piece of cloth around his waist. It was the first time
I had seen him in this state, and I wasn’t surprised to find that despite his
slender frame, he looked…strong. There were still a few bruises here and there,
and he looked in need of a bath, but that would be taken care of tomorrow
morning. The sinners were given one last cleansing before being presented to
the public. I wondered if he had heard the commotion with Hidan, and suddenly
felt an inexplicable need to explain the reason for it.
He
had not moved; nor made any attempt to acknowledge my presence. All the same, I
motioned for the last plate of food and cup, stooped to my haunches and repeated
the process; though a part of me stiffened with anticipation at being attacked
again. Would I be better prepared this time? Would I be able to stab him as I
did to Hidan? I paused and held my breath. However, nothing happened. Naruto
was still as motionless as ever; and I began to wonder if he was actually
sleeping with his eyes open. Was he even still alive?
Forcing
myself not to be deterred by his anti-social behavior, I rose to my feet;
clasped my hands and began to pray when –
“Don’t
bother,” came the quiet statement that stabbed through
the silence. “I don’t need your hypocritical prayers.”
I
ignored him and continued, or would have if he didn’t keep talking.
“I’m
telling you, it’s going to be pointless. Who do you pray to anyway? God? Which God? The one that allows you to
kill people for your own cause? That’s one fucked up God if you ask me.”
I
clenched my jaw and realized how stupid I was looking with my hands still
clasped together. I would not dignify
him with an answer, and yet my mouth had other plans.
“You
are a murderer,” I stated firmly before I could reign my words back in. “Your soul
has been tarnished and will be…”
“And
I’d do it all over again if I had a chance,” came the words that sent a shiver
down my spine. I looked into those eyes that were now brimming with an
intensity that made me slightly feverish. There was a cold determination there;
one that made me realize that he was capable of carrying out such a task if
need be.
And what if
it’s him tomorrow? What if I end up having to face this? But then again…it
shouldn’t be too hard to take him out. If his pathetic skills at the dojo the
other day were any indication, eliminating Naruto would be much quicker than
the guests would like.
“If
you had someone you loved,” Naruto continued quietly, though his voice was loud
and clear and seemed to resonate deep within me. “Someone who for the first
time in your life, showed you what it meant to be
needed…wanted…appreciated…what would you do if that person was suddenly taken
away from you before your eyes?” He made a pistol with his fingers and placed
it to his temple. “To have her brains blown out…pow! Just like that. Tell me,
Sasuke…what would you do?”
It
was cold…it was supposed to be cool
beneath the earth and yet…I could feel beads of sweat breaking out on my brow. What would I do?
(Ino…)
What could I
do?
(Kaasan…Toosan…Nii-san…)
I have waited
for far too long…
“What
would you do when your life is on the line, Sasuke?” my tormentor continued
with a grim smile on his visage. “What would you do when you find yourself
being threatened by the one person you thought you could trust. Hmm? What would you do when you find a gun…pointed
right at you?” This time he turned his pistol-fingers towards me, closed as eye
as if concentrating and fired right at me complete with sound effects. If he
had a real gun, I was sure the bullet would have lodged itself between my eyes.
“Would you run away like you’ve been doing all your life?”
He
couldn’t have hit me any harder even if it had been physical contact. I felt my
entire being flush with a heat so strong, I really was sweating more than I would
have liked. Why was I standing here listening to this? Why was I allowing him
to get to me like this? Was this a challenge? Was he daring me to become as
brash and heartless as he was?
“Shut…up,”
I grated coldly; not sure who I was speaking to. Him or my
inner voice?
“What’s
the matter, Sasuke?” came the low teasing question.
“Having doubts now?”
“I
swear to God…!”
“What?
What are you gonna do to me?” he taunted. “Come on in. We can finish it right
here and now, if you want.”
I
smiled bitterly. “You wish. You do realize I -”
I
snapped my mouth shut. I couldn’t tell him about the final battle…providing he
survived the first. I straightened up and took a deep breath to calm myself. He
was doing this for a reason. To rile me and get me out of my organized
thoughts, but I had no intention of playing to his cheap methods.
“Enjoy
your meal,” I finally said. “Though I shall still pray for
your soul tonight.”
“Mighty kind of you, sir. In fact, you
know what? I think I’ll pray for you too.”
My
jaw must have dropped or at least it felt that way to me, and I was embarrassed
to find my cheeks burning all over again. Composing myself quickly, I managed
to spit out an icy, “Keep your heathen prayers to yourself -”
“Dear
Lord,” the bastard said aloud; completely ignoring me (as usual). “Please give
some people the ability to see the errors of their ways and to realize that
they are only being used by some sick perverted bastard like that Snake
Dude…probably…because God knows what that guy does to poor Sasuke-chan when they’re in the bedroom - ”
“Shut up, Naruto!” I hissed quickly as my
humiliation and annoyance grew (the guards were still here for crying out
loud). It took me a second later to realize just what I had done. I gasped as
his eyes widened and a gleeful smile of victory came to his visage. Oh my God!
I had…I had…
Goddamnit!
“Ah ha! You finally
called my name!” the blond trouble-maker cried out in delight. “That wasn’t so
hard, was it?”
“You
have…no…idea…” I growled beneath my breath as I focused my gaze on anywhere but
that face that kept laughing at me. “…how…much…I…”
“…loved
calling out my name?” Naruto taunted with a knowing smirk. “It’s okay, Sasuke. Might as well get used to it since I don’t plan
on losing tomorrow.”
What?!
He
rose to his feet and approached the grille, and it was only then that I
realized just how close I had been to the damn thing all this time. Just one
more step and he would have been able to reach out to grab me, but he did no
such thing. He only seemed content to wrap his fingers around the cool steel
bars and to grin at me; only this time, I could see that it didn’t quite reach
his eyes. For all his ‘joviality’, Naruto was still pissed at something.
(me)
“I’m
going to survive,” he said beneath his breath as if only for my benefit. “I
don’t know how, but I don’t plan on dying anytime soon, so you had better start
getting used to the idea of seeing and hearing about me from now on.”
He
seemed to examine me for a second longer than necessary, and I was ashamed to find
myself recalling how my mind had been warped enough to imagine him looking at
me in this same way when I…I…uh…pleasured myself. What exactly did he see when
he looked at me in such a way? How did I appear to this sinner who seemed so
sure and confident of himself and of his abilities to survive?
“Heh…”
he finally drawled lazily; a wry smile on his face now. “Can’t believe I actually almost had a crush on you too. Remember that
time on the bus? The only reason I kept looking at you was because I thought
you were a pretty hot chick. Who knew you were such a cold-hearted asshole
beneath?”
My
eyes widened in shock, and I honestly do think I forgot how to breathe for a
few precious seconds. I was literally frozen in place; unable to believe he’d
have the gall to confess such a thing to me in the first place. Not so much the
insult. I had heard worse after all. It was the notion that he had thought I
was…
A hot chick? ME? A hot…girl?!
He thought I was a…I was…a female?!
Was
this a new way to call me…weak? To
emasculate me?! To consider me not manly enough to be in control of –
/…almost
had a crush on you…/
And
what the fuck was that all about – ?
“Mm…pretty
damn tasty rice ball too,” came the commentary that jarred me from my disturbed
thoughts. Naruto was back in position on the floor; eagerly consuming his meal
before raising his cup in a toast to me.
“Sweet
dreams, Sasuke. I’ll see you tomorrow, eh?”
He
winked, and I decided that saying anything else was going to be useless. My
throat seemed constricted, and I definitely could not trust myself to speak.
What the hell was wrong with this man?! These were not the kind of thoughts I
ought to be having after a visit with sinners. I should have been in a prayerful
mood; in a state of Zen-like enlightenment at having mercy on their condemned
souls and yet here I was, barely able to think straight because of some idiot’s
ability to say the most stupid things to throw me off kilter. It was a fucking
miracle I could walk because I was a trembling mess…inside and out!
I
eventually met a solemn Haku outside, and I need not tell you his reason for
being this way. Thanks to his new ‘friendship’ with his ‘dear’ Naruto-kun, he
had all but moped around all week; almost driving me insane with his need to remind
me of my role in all this.
“Kimimaro-san
came looking for you,” he said softly. “He said Orochimaru-sama would like to
see you.”
I
stiffened at this news; my eyes narrowing as I felt a chill (that had nothing
to do with the cold night air) seeping into me. I couldn’t imagine what he’d
want to see me for. I do know I was going to have to see him tomorrow, as it
was the day when he’d present the special executioner’s katana to me, but other than that, I sincerely hoped he didn’t
expect me to join his special guests for dinner. Though I had applied my
medication, ever since they arrived at Byaku-Shinkyou, the ‘stench’ of their
evil and sins had permeated the air almost immediately. I shivered and gave a
curt nod.
“Thanks
for letting me know.”
“Is
it okay to visit Naruto-kun now?” came the quiet
question; one he has been asking since we learned of the sinner’s
re-incarceration.
I
glanced at the entrance to the dungeons, where the guards were still on duty.
It was usually not advised for sinners to have visitors the final week to
Gudan, but it was the least I could do for Haku. I shrugged and nodded in
agreement.
“That’s
fine. Just let them know I gave you my permission.”
I
received a grateful smile, which made me feel even more of a heel than I would
have liked. As I walked away from the East Block, I debated on whether or not
to go to my private quarters first, but I decided against that. I would see
Orochimaru first, see what he had in mind before leaving so I could get an
early night. Besides, I was still in my uniform, which felt more of shield to
me than wearing a mere kimono in his presence.
As
I approached his domain, I braced myself for the usual loud laughter and music
that accompanied his guests paying a visit, but I was a little bemused to find
it no different from any other quiet night. He was not in the main living area;
neither was he in his office adjacent to it. Assuming he had forgotten he had
sent for me, I cleared my throat as loud as I could and knelt before his work
desk to await him. Seconds later, Kimimaro appeared from behind a shoji screen
door that led to his private quarters.
“Lord
Orochimaru will see you in there,” Kimimaro said with an expression that was
hard to read. ‘There’ being Orochimaru’s bedroom. ‘There’ being a place that –
in the past – I wouldn’t have minded going in, but now…
“I
would rather not,” I replied curtly.
Kimimaro
seemed taken aback at my response. “Excuse me?”
“I said, I would rather not.” I clenched my
fists on my lap as Naruto’s taunting ‘prayer’ came back to haunt me. I could
almost see the blond idiot smirking in victory if I gave in as I usually did.
“If he wants to see me, I’ll be waiting out here.”
A
small smile came to the white-haired man’s face and he nodded. “Very well. I’ll let him know.”
The
screen door closed behind him again, and I found myself expelling a gust of
breath. I had a feeling that this was not a good time to upset Orochimaru, but
a part of me – a part that was gradually getting louder and stronger…
(and
you know exactly why, Sasuke)
…was
ready to face the music. If Orochimaru berated me, I’d give it to him twice as
hard. Though this final week was supposed to be one of finding peace within
oneself, incidents like Hidan, Naruto and now Orochimaru’s cryptic decision to
see me, was creating a tumultuous range of emotions within me like no other. I
decided to distract myself by observing the room carefully. Were there hidden
microphones or videos in here as well? Haku and I had managed to do a thorough
sweep of my quarters during our spare time, and neither of us had found
anything out of place.
I
was still uneasy.
From
my vantage point, I could see it; the sacred sword of Uchiha Riku – one of my
clan’s greatest warriors – which has been used to perform Gudan for all these
years. Sitting before the large golden statue of Buddha in a private alcove
just next to the room, it was displayed on a mahogany stand, sheathed within an
ancient scabbard of the finest leather with gilded artistry and inscriptions.
It was believed that the great Riku-sama had killed over a thousand men with
this sword granting him the status of ‘The-Thousand-Demon-Slayer’.
Unfortunately, there wasn’t much else about Riku-sama as all I had read about
him were in faded historical scrolls in my father’s archives…
The
sudden sliding of the shoji screen door had me sitting upright in a flash.
Orochimaru – dressed in a white caftan, which just about blended with his flesh
– stormed out with an expression that could be considered as irritation. I
fully expected Kimimaro to be on his tail, but the other man was obviously not
needed at this time. The strong stench of sweet oils and perfume (and was that
opium?) almost made me sneeze, but I kept my expression neutral as he walked
toward…and then around me. I froze as the soft cloth brushed against my skin –
he was that close – and those smells grew even stronger. Fully expecting him to
move back to his chair, I was stunned to suddenly feel his strong (but so damn
cold) hands on my shoulders. To my horror, he began to knead them gently.
“You
seem so tense, Sasuke,” he drawled lazily. “You are usually more relaxed and in
control during this time of the year. Or are you that worried about tomorrow?”
The
hands were moving a little lower…down to my arms, which made me even gladder I
was not in a kimono. I could feel the sensation of snakes crawling up and into
my flesh; slimy, slithering creatures that threatened to make me want to vomit.
/What
would you do, Sasuke?/
Surprising
him, and myself, I rose suddenly to my feet; a hand firmly on the hilt of my
sword. Like Kimimaro, he too seemed taken aback at my behavior, and perhaps it
was a trick of the light, but I was sure there had been a flicker of
uncertainty within those narrowed eyes.
“I
am not worried about tomorrow,” I replied; pleased that my voice sounded
distant and in control. I nodded toward Riku-sama’s sword. “Did you wish to
give that to me tonight?”
Orochimaru’s
gaze had returned to being unreadable. His lips quirked upwards and he nodded. “Of course. Why waste time with formalities as was done in
the past? It’s a new year and a new way of doing things, so please…by all
means…pick up the great sword, Uchiha Sasuke.”
I
spun on my heels and away from him; glad I could breathe again as I approached
the weapon. As I stood before it, I felt a familiar surge of adrenaline run
down my spine and groin. My fingers tingled with the urge to touch…to feel…to
caress such deadly beauty. I could still remember the first time I was given
the honor of wielding the sacred sword; of how heavy and wonderful it had felt.
Now as I reached out to clasp it – call me corny – but I really did feel a
thrill of power race up my arm in a rush. I almost felt invincible with the
beautiful weapon within my grasp, and I did not want to let it go…ever.
I
unsheathed it slowly…admired the way the light shone on its steely blade (such
fine craftsmanship) and sensing him behind me, spun around quickly with the
deadly tip just nicking his left
cheek. Blood swelled from the cut immediately, and a cold grin came to his
features as he darted out a tongue to lick it off.
“As
fast as ever,” he praised in a low voice. “Though something tells me that you
wish it had caused more damage.”
“I
have no idea what you are talking about,” I replied evenly. I would give
nothing away; would give him no reason to suspect that I really had wanted to
go all the way. My hand was steady, my gaze trained squarely on him. In this
moment…this very second…I could kill him and end it all. I could make up for
all the years of suffering in silence, of knowing he was possibly the one
responsible for the death of my family, and for creating this monster I had
become over the years.
(just
one swing)
Perhaps
I would have done it, or attempted to, but I felt something hard and cold pressed
into my lower back, and I didn’t need to turn around to know that it was
Kimimaro. I hadn’t even heard him arrive; another reason why any attempts on
Orochimaru’s life was likely to be a failure; with a loyal assassin like
Kimimaro as his shadow…
“Just
testing it out,” I said with a nonchalant shrug. I slid the blade back into its
sheath and clipped it to my side.
“And
it’s to your liking?” Orochimaru sneered.
“Perfect,”
I replied with a matching smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes. “Sharp enough to
cut steel. Just what I needed.” I stepped away from
Kimimaro and noticed it had been a pistol in his hand. He tucked it away just
as quickly and gave me a warm smile.
“Just
testing this out too,” he said. “Works even faster.”
I
gritted my teeth inwardly and gave a bow to both men. “If that is all, I’d like
to call it a night now. I have a long day tomorrow.”
“Indeed
you do,” Orochimaru replied with a nod and a sharp clap of his hands. “I most
definitely look forward to you putting up a good fight, Sasuke. Do not fail
me.”
I
said nothing, but only gave another small bow before leaving his presence.
However, instead of heading straight for my private quarters, I spent almost a
good hour or two walking aimlessly around the grounds. Tonight might be the last
time I get to see this place I had called home despite the ‘strange’ way I had
been raised. I tried to memorize every stone and plant I came across; tried to
recall my happier childhood memories especially places my older brother and I
used to play or train in, and when I finally fell to my knees beside the small
stream that ran close to the mountains, in exhaustion, I squeezed my eyes shut
and found myself praying for some kind of divine mercy.
Oh He who
watches over us,
Please help
me…for I am afraid…
__
Naruto:
… I know I act
like I know too much, and I’m all brave and shit, but really…I am scared
shitless deep down inside because I really don’t know what to expect. Oh God…I
don’t know what you have planned for me, but whatever it is…please…let me make
it through. Please send me a sign that tomorrow’s gonna be a good da –
“Naruto-kun?”
My
lashes flew open at the hushed whisper of my name, and for a second I could
only stare blankly at the pretty face peering at me through the grilles of my
cell.
“Ha…Haku?” I asked with
uncertainty; sure this was some kind of hallucination. They probably put those
kind of drugs in the rice ball and that was why I was suddenly seeing my
first…well second if you counted Sasuke…real visitor since I was locked up again.
Apparently, part of the final cleansing rites had involved not having a damn
person to talk to besides your shadow and your mind. After enjoying almost two
months of relative ‘freedom’, being thrust back into the gloomy, claustrophobic
prison was enough to make one go insane.
(you really
don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone)
I
had mentally prepared myself for being tortured all over again, but all I had
been subjected to was being stripped of my clothes and spending at least an
hour or two a day being tied up and dunked in a large barrel of warm water,
while some weird priests chanted something when I was finally brought up to get
some much-needed air. It had freaked me out at first, and I honestly thought
they meant to drown me at some point, but I came to realize it was…of course…nothing
more than a Gudan rite.
I
was really beginning to get sick of
those.
To
kill time in my loneliness, I ‘practiced’ my kenjutsu skills as best I could. I
had no sword, bokken or even a stick to swing around, so I used my hands and
arms, while trying to recall all that Asuma had taught me.
/The
bottom line is that Kendo relies mostly on mental strength. It is the ability
to think fast on your feet and to think two, three, five steps ahead of your
opponent. It’s all well and good to swing a sword around, but you must keep
your mind sharp and think of tactics to throw him off guard. Sometimes the
quickest way to win a fight is to be unorthodox. Do something your opponent
least expects, and when you have an opening or have him at your mercy…you must
strike immediately! /
Mental strength, eh? I wasn’t sure
I had much of that, but I had tried to memorize all the steps; from my stance
to the rules of Kendo and the mantra I had been taught.
To mold the mind and body.
To cultivate a vigorous spirit,
And through correct and rigid training,
To strive for improvement in the art of Kendo.
To hold in esteem human courtesy and honor.
To associate with others with sincerity.
And to forever pursue the cultivation of oneself.
Through
all this, I wondered if I would ever get to see Asuma or Shikamaru again…hell
even the boy now smiling before me. I would have hugged the kid, but I was
still in a daze to move much.
“How
are you feeling, Naruto-kun?”
“Wonderful,”
I finally replied with as much sarcasm as I could muster. “I feel as happy as a
man likely to get whacked first thing in the morning. How
‘bout you?”
He
lowered his lashes, and I sighed at my snippy remark. The guy had only tried to
be nice. Why did I have to keep acting like such a dick around him? “I’m
sorry,” I muttered. “I’m just…”
“I
understand,” he replied softly. “I guess I would feel like you do now if I was
in your position.”
“Yeah…well…”
I scratched my head and adjusted myself. “Say…your master just left here. Guess
he just couldn’t resist my charm after all.” I could spend all fucking day
teasing that guy, now that I thought about it. It really didn’t take much to
get him pissed off, and a part of me actually found that it was kinda…fun (in a
twisted way).
Haku
chuckled weakly. “Yes…he always has to perform the final rites and give the
final meals to the sinners since he’s the one…well…”
“Nice
job he’s got there,” I replied with a roll of my eyes.
Haku
gave a wan smile and then leaned even closer to the grille. “Can I ask you
something, Naruto-kun?”
“Sure.”
I moved close enough until he was literally whispering in my ear. Compared to
the fetid smells (including yours truly) of this hell hole, Haku smelled like
heaven. Just about the same way his damn master had smelled too. Hell, his very
presence was like a breath of fresh air. Would I be considered weird if I
wanted to sniff his hair for the rest of his time here?
“I
overheard Sasuke-sama talk about the new format of the battle with Asuma-san
the other day, and he mentioned that you’d have to kill the other prisoners to
be free…is that true?”
I
sighed. “Don’t remind me. I’m still trying to figure out a way to get out of
actually having to do that, but if push comes to shove…I’m not going to have
much of a choice, will I?”
Haku’s
features broke into a smile. “I think I can help you with that, Naruto-kun.” He
reached into his kimono and withdrew what looked like a sewing needle, but it
was pointed on both ends.
“What
is that?” I asked in bemusement.
“A
special weapon Zabuza-san introduced to me. You have to handle it carefully
though because once it pricks you, you…well…die.”
“…and
how the hell is this supposed to help me?”
Haku
wagged a finger as if admonishing me. “You die…but only until you are revived
by the antidote, which I have. The needles contain a special poison that
infiltrates the blood stream, slows the heart rate and in less than a minute,
you are declared ‘dead’ by anyone who tries to feel your pulse.”
“No
shit,” I gasped in awe.
“No
shit, Naruto-kun.” Haku giggled then froze. We both listened for any
approaching footsteps, but all we could hear was the continuous whine and
curses from the other inmates. “I would like you to have them, Naruto-kun,” he
continued fervently. It was as if he realized his time was running out.
“How
do I carry them though? I’m only dressed in this darn loin cloth thingy.”
“Tomorrow
you’ll be dressed in a yukata,” Haku explained. “I will be waiting for you at
the entrance to the arena, where I will slip the needles into it as you walk
past. During the battle, use as many as you can without being noticed…and try
not to hit any vital points.”
“No
vital points…got it.” Asuma had taught me about those too.
“Don’t
worry about the bodies,” he continued. “Once they are ‘dead’, the other sinners
have to take them to the pit that is several miles away from here. I have made
plans with the sinner in charge of them and he will administer the antidote to
those you pricked.”
“Phew…good to know. I was going
to ask you about that little detail…”
Haku
– to my surprise – suddenly reached out a hand (with some effort too because
the space between the grilles were quite small) to caress my cheek. I fought
against my body’s immediate reaction to shudder at the touch and closed my
eyes; forcing myself to relax and breathe evenly as he
tenderly traced the outline of my scars. I didn’t know if what we were doing
was going to be regarded as ‘cheating’ but hell…anything to get out of having
to kill unnecessarily and besides a few lucky few might get their freedom if
all went according to plan. I really was grateful for him choosing to befriend
a pain-in-the-ass like me. I didn’t feel I deserved his attention and care.
“Thank
you,” I sighed softly. There was something soothing about his caresses…almost
as if he was giving me a massage. “For…everything…”
“I
have done nothing, Naruto-kun,” Haku whispered in return. “If you win…you are
free, yes?”
“Yeah…”
“Then
you and I must meet in the outside world someday and do a lot of fun things
together, eh?”
I
lifted my lashes and gave him a warm smile. “Sure. Something tells me you need
to get out more often anyway.”
He
blushed and giggled again, and before I could stop myself, I caught his fingers
and squeezed them gently. Soft yet strong. “You better
get going,” I said aloud yet with regret. “Methinks your master’s going to need
you tonight.”
“Why
do you say that?” Haku asked with a cock of his head in bemusement.
I
smiled as the memory of Sasuke’s flustered and shocked expression filled my
mind. I knew I had kicked off something within Mr. Righteousness, and if my
hunch was right then…
“Just…take
care of the guy,” I replied with a light shrug. “He’s got some real issues he’s
got to solve on his own and you might be the one he needs to be his moral
support.”
Haku
opened his mouth as if to say something, but shook his head instead.
“Oh…okay…if you say so…although…”
“Although
what?”
“Sasuke-sama
and I do not have that kind of a relationship. I will protect him with my life,
do not misunderstand me, but he is not the kind to share his thoughts and
concerns with me. I am nothing more than a tool for him and …”
I
squeezed his fingers a little harder before releasing them. “A
tool? Yeah right. If you’re a tool, then you’re the goddamn sharpest one
in the shed, and if I win tomorrow, I owe you my fucking life.”
I
heard the shuffling footsteps of a guard approaching and motioned for Haku to
rise to his feet as I scooted back into the shadows. He was just in time to act
as if he had been doing nothing for the stern-faced guard appeared with a
bemused glance at us.
“All
done here, Haku-san?” he finally asked.
“All
done,” came the quiet reply. “Thanks for allowing me
to stop by.” He threw me a quick glance and a reassuring smile, which I was more
than grateful to receive. However, once he was gone, and the heavy cloak of
loneliness befell me again, I squeezed my eyes shut and continued my fevered
prayers from where I left off.
…you work
pretty fast, oh God, by sending Haku to me, so please…please don’t make me
accidentally stab myself with the needles. It would be pretty embarrassing if I
ended up committing suicide after all the shit I’ve been through. Oh…and just
in case this does end up being my last night on earth…could you at least give
me a dream I can be happy with? Maybe with Sakura-chan and I
together again? I really would appreciate it. Thank you.
I
sighed and prepared myself for a sleepless night, but to my surprise – and
perhaps it was due to my prayers – I slipped effortlessly into a world where
there was no talk of death or of suffering. In this world, I walked with my
head held high and with a heart that felt as light as a feather. I was on my
way to meet someone – that much was certain – and as I approached the beautiful
park fully expecting it to be my love…my life…my precious dear Sakura waiting
on the park bench, God (how cruel he could be) had the last laugh as I was greeted
by a now all too familiar figure with twin pools of darkest night that seemed
to look through me and deep into my soul.
It is time, Uzumaki
Naruto, they seemed to say. It is finally…our
time.
Chapter 14
Naruto Home
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