Chapter 38:

The Gift of Forgiveness:

Ya know? This is actually the first time Heero’s spoken this much, this fast and with such excitement, that I’m beginning to wonder where this side of him has been all this time. The boy’s not stopped yapping since he came in here almost ten minutes ago and damn if his multi-tasking skills don’t cease to amaze me. In between peeling oranges and slicing apples, he’s opening up the windows to let in some fresh air, fluffing my pillows, propping me up and still talking about the ‘Miracle’ that had taken place earlier.

“…and that was it! Can you believe that, Duo? I’m still pinching myself to make sure I didn’t dream the whole thing.”

Oh, you didn’t dream a damn thing buddy. But hey, I’ve got to put up the act, right?

“Yeah! That’s awesome!” I say with much enthusiasm, opening my mouth to accept the apple slice he tosses in. “No more fighting and all that shit, right?”

“I should think not,” he agrees, giving me a smile that’s bright enough to light up the entire hospital. “The other guys and I have agreed to do a little investigating to discover the real culprits…eh? Duo? Are you all right? You look a bit pale. Here, have some water.”

I accept the glass gratefully, hoping I’ll have a little more time to recover from the sudden news. Geez, should have figured that Heero wouldn’t just take things at face-value and move on with his life. He’s always got to dig in to find out the goddamn truth to everything.

“Feeling better now?” he asks in a quiet tone. Uh oh. I think he realizes that something’s up.

“Yeah…lots. So…uh…about the investigation…”

He perks up a little and grins. “Yeah, Wolfram says he knows a detective…”

“Wolfram?”

“The president of Livingstone…”

“Oh.”

“Well, he says he knows a detective and the man should probably…Duo? Are you sure you’re all right? Pardon me for saying this but you look like hell.”

“Thanks. I’m in a hospital, remember?”

He narrows his eyes and gives me that ‘I-Know-There’s-Something-You’re-Not-Telling-Me-Look’ and damn if the temperature hasn’t risen a few notches. “What’s your problem? I thought you’d be eager to get to the bottom of this as well.”

“Oh, I’m eager. I’m more than eager,” I say quickly. “I just…I mean, the case is closed, right? No need investigating and digging yourself into more of a hole…”

“Duo, I don’t think you understand just what those assholes did to the school. I should have taken pictures…but that’s not the point. The point is that those guys made a mockery of Fujisaki! They took a…a…they took a fucking dump on our lawn!”

Ah shit (no pun intended). Sid forgot to mention that part. “Okay, okay, so maybe the guys went a little too far, but you can’t blame them for it. I just told them to mess things up a little bit and…”

Oops?

Heero’s stopped peeling the apple and the look on his face is enough to send my balls shriveling at what’s to come. Believe me, I have a feeling it’s not going to be pretty. I slide a little lower, resisting the urge to hide beneath the blanket, and finally manage to squeak out with an apologetic smile.

“So…sorry?”

Yeah right. Like he’s going to forgive me that easily.

“Duo,” he begins in that deceptively calm voice. “Did I hear what I thought I heard or was that some kind of subliminal message that got lost in translation along the way?”

“Okay, okay,” I sit up and swing my legs off my bed – wobble a bit, since I haven’t moved a lot in the past two days – and try to put some distance between us. I have a feeling he’ll punch me or do something much worse if I continue to sit that close to him. When I get to the window, I face him again, hoping he’s not too upset. But one look into those dark blue eyes and I know I’ll have to make a fucking good case or I’m toast.

“Okay, just hear me out first, all right? I only thought it would be a good way to get all three schools to see how dumb they were being by accusing each other of such trivial things…”

“Duo…”

“Don’t get up, Heero! Just sit down and listen to me, all right? I just told the guys to…”

“What guys?!”

“The guys at the shop! The mechanic shop. Sid and the others…”

“Oh dear God…”

“I didn’t think they’d go that far…”

“Didn’t think they’d go that far? Do you think, Duo?! Do you honestly, really think before planning these wild ideas of yours?! What if things had gone wrong, huh?! What if no one had been willing to listen to each other and another ‘war’ had broken out?!”

“But it didn’t, right?!” We’re now glaring at each other across the room and he standing with that knife in his hand isn’t helping much. If he tries to throw it…I guess I could always use this flower pot on the windowsill as a weapon.

“That’s not the issue…!”

“The issue is that you’re not grateful for my help! If it wasn’t for my ‘dumb’ idea, you wouldn’t be coming in here smiling today, would you?!”

He gives a loud sound of frustration – something between a growl and a small cry – tosses his hands in the air, runs his fingers through his already messed up hair and begins to pace his side of the room.

“What am I going to do now?” he asks in between frantic steps. “What the fuck am I supposed to do?!”

“What are you talking about?” I’m beginning to get a headache and I wish he’d stop walking so fast. It’s making me dizzy. “Just call off the investigation.”

“Oh sure, Duo. That’s just fucking brilliant.” He rolls his eyes and snorts in derision. “Why don’t I just walk up to that bulldozer in the form of a human called Tazuna Kenchiro and tell him not to bother investigating because it’s my own boyfriend that’s responsible for fucking up his school!”

“At least he knows he’s not going to go on a wild goose chase,” I mumble.

“You just don’t get it, do you?”

“Oh, I get it all right,” I say tightly, now dizzy, upset that Heero’s not seeing things my way and generally not feeling too hot at the moment. “I get that you’re nothing but a chicken-livered, whiny goody-two-shoes asshole, who can’t deal with things that might seem bigger than him! Don’t worry, if I have to crawl to Morimoto in my hospital gown with needles sticking all over me, I’ll go there and tell him myself! Now get out of my goddamn way. I think it’s time for my evening medication.”

I shuffle back to bed and throw myself in, pressing the button next to me to alert the nurse, with more force than necessary. I deliberately turn away from Heero and close my eyes in part exhaustion and part hurt. At least a simple ‘thank you’ would have been nice. Those guys didn’t have to do that job for me, but they did it, despite whatever consequences I was bound to face afterwards. But to be fair, if it wasn’t for Heero’s diplomatic method, I doubt the plan would have succeeded, but all the same…

“I’m sorry.”

I stiffen, wondering if he had actually spoken or if it’s just my mind playing tricks and making me ‘form’ Heero’s apology in my mind. But he says it again, much louder this time and comes around to kneel beside me, a hand reaching out to sink its fingers into my hair, pulling me closer to him.

For a moment, we remain in silence, our foreheads resting against each other’s, our warm breaths mingling as one as we stare into each other’s eyes.

“Maybe I am a chicken…” he begins in a thick whisper.

“No…” I shake my head slowly, enjoying the slow massage his fingertips apply to my scalp. “I shouldn’t have called you that. I was just…”

“Thank you.”

I have to gasp at the deep tone, one that is reserved for whenever he is really sincere about his words or emotions. My cheeks fill with color as his lips quirk a little and before I can say anything else, he covers the distance between us and gives me a gentle kiss – a delicious, lingering kiss that’s enough to send my pulses racing faster than any medication Doctor G can pump me with.

“Oh my! I’m sorry, I didn’t know you two were…uh…busy….”

The door closes quickly behind the poor nurse that had come to attend to me and I chuckle a little as Heero pulls away slowly to get to his feet. His fingers trail the length of my braid till he gets to the tip before raising it to his lips to kiss it gently.

“What are you going to do now?” I ask quietly.

“Probably take your dumb idea to go talk to the presidents again and tell them the truth. They might not like it but…it’s better I tell them now before they find out later, right?”

“Right.”

He sighs and finally releases me. “I wish you were with me,” he mutters, not really looking at me as if embarrassed at admitting such a thing. He can be cute like that sometimes. “When the hell do you get out of this place?”

“As soon as I can kill Doc G,” I reply with a wink, making a slicing motion across my neck. “Don’t worry. I’m working on a top secret weapon that’s bound to knock out the sadistic asshole the next time he comes waltzing in here with a needle. I swear the sick fuck likes to see me in pain.”

He smirks. “And you aren’t the masochist?”

“Only when it comes to you, baby.” I laugh in delight, enjoying the flood of color that fills his cheeks at that statement and for my wiseass reply, he gives me a nudge on my ribs and reaches for his school bag.

“See you tomorrow,” he says and blows me a kiss before leaving me in solitude again. Geez, he thinks he’s lonely. In here, I’m in a fucking prison that smells like antiseptic and bleach.

God knows I’ll trade positions with him any time.

__

“Ouch!”

The Sadist looks at me and gives a long-suffering sigh. “I haven’t even touched you yet, Maxwell.”

“Yeah well, just you standing next to me puts me in major pain…ouch! Hey! I’m a patient!”

“Former patient, if you don’t keep your wisecracks to yourself. Now sit still so I can get this godforsaken bandage off your thick skull.”

“Oh, nice one doc. What? They teach you that in Med School? Jokes for Docs 101? Okay, that fucking hurt right there.”

“And it’s not going to get any easier, Maxwell.” And I swear, when he gives me a smile, it’s like watching the jaws of a shark opening and closing in slow motion and the terror that’s gradually building within me is enough to make me want to scream and scream and…

“All clear.”

“Huh?”

“You’re done, Maxwell. You really don’t need the bandage anymore. Your massive skull seems to have recovered nicely. We just have to worry about your ribs.”

I watch him scribble something in his notepad while the nurse is busy preparing the plaster for my torso.

“If you begin to get any severe headaches let me know,” he mutters to himself.

“What about my playing?”

“Playing what?”

“Basketball…”

“You’re going to have to put that on the backburner for a while, Maxwell,” G replies sharply, giving me a look that leaves no room for argument. “It’s a miracle you’re still able to move about after all the injuries you’ve sustained this year alone. For god’s sake boy! If I see your face in here one more time, I’ll have to make them start sending you to Duncan!”

“But that’s miles away!”

“Precisely.”

“Dude…that’s brutal.”

“Well, that’s just too bad, Maxwell. You’re too accident prone.”

“Oh no, Heero’s the one that’s accident prone but the guy’s built like a fucking Tonka truck. He’s unbreakable. Know what I mean? He could bump his leg against the coffee table, say ‘Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!’ or sometimes, not say anything but just wince and he’s back to walking like nothing happened in like five minutes. Tell me, doc, is that normal to you?”

“Hmph.”

“Or the other day, he says he was jogging and didn’t look where he was going and bumped into a tree. Now normal people would have bumps and bruises all over the place, right? Not Heero. Oh, no sir, the boy’s just got a minor scrape and even if he’s bleeding like a stuck pig, he just says it’s nothing, wipes it off, sticks a band-aid on it and tadaa! He’s set for another round of physical torture!”

“And that’s why…”

“Ouch!”

The Sadist pulls out the needle with a smirk and motions for the nurse to begin wrapping up my abdomen.

“…that’s why he’s Heero and you’re not, Maxwell. Maybe the next time he comes in here, I’ll have him do some x-rays. If he’s as well-built as you say he is, then that boy might need some major reconstructive surgery. Good day, Maxwell.”

“Yeah, see ya around, doc.”

When hell freezes over.

__

By Wednesday afternoon, I’m this close to screaming for rescue from this hellhole. Cold rain falls outside my window and according to the weather guys on TV, they might be expecting snow later on tonight. It’s almost Christmas after all and speaking of which, I don’t know what the hell to get for Heero. He’s not particularly good at expressing what he wants and I have a feeling he’s not going to find it funny if I get him a sweater or a pair of socks as gifts. I’ll have to make a list of possible items he might like and ask for Harold’s opinion. The guy should know one or two things about gift giving.

Speaking of Heero, I talked to him this morning on the phone and he told me he’s not been able to speak to Tazuna yet. He did get to Wolfram Whatshisface and the Livingstone guy seemed okay with it – peeved but okay. As for visiting me at the hospital, it might not be possible. He says he’s got meetings after school and if the weather gets worse, I insisted he go straight home instead of coming here. I don’t want him stuck on the roads because of me.

As I reach for the remote control to change the channel, hoping to find some horror flick, a light knock on the door has me looking at it with slight irritation. It can’t be time for my shots or my medication already. I just got one less than an hour ago. What’s Doc G trying to do? Get rid of me completely? I wouldn’t put it past the old geezer.

“Yeah?” I ask cautiously as the door creaks open wider to reveal a face I never thought I’d see…at least for a long time to come.

“I hope I’m not intruding. The nurses downstairs told me it was fine to visit you.”

Oh, hell no. Somebody gimme a fucking break!

Saito walks in with a basket of fresh fruits in a wicker basket with brightly colored ribbons all over it. What does he think I am? A kid still in grade school? I watch him eye my bedside table that’s already filled with vases of flowers and boxes of candy or books friends have dropped by over the past few days. He finally settles for leaving the basket on the floor beside the bed, gives me a small smile and pulls up a chair for himself. Great. I don’t remember inviting him to stay.

“What do you want?” I finally ask, watching with faint satisfaction as he starts as if goosed.

He gives me another smile and for the first time, I realize that he’s not really as young as I’ve always assumed him to be. His dark hair is a bit damp (must have walked in the rain) and there are faint dark rings of fatigue around his eyes, making those once sharp and cold gray eyes, now hollow and a bit…well…dead. There’s light stubble around his chin, as if he didn’t bother shaving this morning and the simple black dress shirt and matching pants is a far cry from the power suits I’m used to seeing him wear. What’s with the casual attitude? If he’s trying to appeal to me in some way, then he’s failing miserably. I’m not going to like him any better if he’s trying to pull all the stops just to impress my mother.

“I know this is sudden,” he begins quietly, clasping and unclasping his hands before him as if being forced to face a judge and jury for his final sentencing. I would laugh, if I wasn’t feeling a mixture of irritation and confusion at the moment. Just what does he want from me?

“But I think it’s time you and I had a talk, don’t you think, Duo?”

“You can talk if you want,” I reply with a light shrug, forcing myself to focus on the TV screen above me. “I don’t have to listen.”

“That’s true,” he continues in that quiet and almost resigned tone. I can feel his gaze on me and it’s making me uncomfortable and damn him! it makes me feel a bit guilty too. Oh, he’s good. I’ll give him that much.

“All right. What?” I drop the remote control and let the background sounds of cartoon bunnies singing interrupt the tense silence between us. “What do you want to say to me?”

“I love your mother, Duo.”

Ouch. Score one for the direct and no-nonsense approach. The guy goes straight for the heartstrings, doesn’t he?

“And why should I believe you?” I reply tightly, glad that my voice doesn’t betray the sudden pitter-patter of my heartbeat. I have to hold his gaze and not look away or he’ll think he’s defeated me in that battle.

“Because it’s the simple truth, Duo. How else can I prove it to you but to let you see just how much she means to me.”

“Liar…”

“Duo…”

“You’re still married, aren’t you? You lied to her at dinner that time and you never even told her! Why the fuck should I let a guy that can’t even tell her the truth, be with her?”

“I agree that it was a stupid and an unwise thing for me to do and everyday I chide myself for it, believe me. But now, I’ve cleared out all my dirty laundry with her. I’ve told her every little secret and…and…everything I’ve ever done has been laid out on the table, Duo. You can’t imagine how much she’s drilled me over the course of the past few weeks and I’ve not hesitated to tell her as much as I can. My divorce with Akiko is final and you can be rest assured she will not be in the way anymore.”

He’s sincere. The damn guy’s so sincere it hurts to look at him, to see that desperation in his face and in his tone, kinda reminds me of the way I felt in front of Heero’s parents. Where’s the tough guy who sent his henchmen to clobber Heero and I all those months ago? Where’s the bastard that threatened to have us kicked out of school because of his son? Where’s that Saito Teruo and just who the hell is this lovesick stranger before me?!

I shake my head slowly and finally look away, falling back against the pillows in exhaustion – more of the mental and emotional kind. “Why? Why her?” I finally ask. “What if it doesn’t last? What if…?”

“I’ll do my best to make her happy, Duo. Your mother is a strong, wonderful and amazing woman and although I know that memories of your father will always remain with you both, I can only hope that…”

“Don’t you fucking say you’re going to try to replace him,” I interrupt coldly, shooting him a look that I hope he’ll understand.

Thankfully, he does and nods solemnly. “I am not trying to take your father’s place, Duo. That is the farthest thing from my mind. I only hope…” He sighs and rubs a hand across his forehead, looking even more stressed out than before. “I just want us to be friends for your mother’s sake if nothing else. We can even pretend to be friendly in front of her, if you want and you can keep your distance when she’s not around. But deep down…I want us to try to put the past behind us and to work towards a common understanding. I guess what I’m really trying to say is…I’m sorry.”

I blink at the sudden apology, cheeks flushing a little at that same intense look that I’ve noticed in Heero’s eyes whenever he’s serious about something. Maybe it’s just something all Japanese guys have.

“I have done some things I’m not proud of,” he continues quietly. “And when I look back on them, I wonder who that cold-hearted bastard is…”

“You’re not going to say that your father was a brute that molested and tortured you as a kid which in turn made you act that way, are you?”

He looks at me for a moment, a near comical expression of surprise on his face. Finally, he chuckles and shakes his head. “Your mother was right. Your sense of humor is one of a kind.”

“I wasn’t trying to be funny,” I mumble, feeling a bit embarrassed. “But seriously though…about Kamui…you do know what he used to do, right?”

“Yes and I feel ashamed that all of that happened right before my eyes and I was too blind to notice it.” He clasps his hands tightly and stares resolutely at the floor. “My son was only crying for help, for my attention, but I was so focused on work that I didn’t really give a damn about him. I failed as a father and I can only thank you and your mother for coming into my life and making me see how truly wonderful my boy is.”

“I didn’t do anything,” I mutter and lower my gaze, fingers restlessly plucking the blanket. I can’t take credit for anything. Heero should be the one getting all the praise. He’s the one that had to deal with Kamui’s earlier psychotic tendencies and he came out with his sanity intact.

“My son…he looks up to you now.”

Oh shit.

“All he seems to do these days is talk about you or that other boy…”

“Heero.”

“Yes, Heero Yuy. A fine student.”

“He’s got his good points.”

Our gazes meet and for an instant, I feel that we make some sort of connection because he smiles and I can feel my own lips twitching in response.

“Your mother tells me that he is your…uum…partner?”

“Yeah, he is.” I stiffen, ready for another bout of trying to prove my love for Heero, but I’m surprised when he simply nods and rubs his chin.

“My son might be that way too,” Saito remarks. “And I must confess that I find myself at a loss for what to tell him when he begins to ask me those questions. I haven’t exactly had a male partner over the years.”

For some reason, that has me laughing out loud and I’m surprised at the sound. It’s not laughter of bitterness or derision, but a genuine sound of mirth at how sheepish and naive he looks as he confesses that to me.

“So what?” I manage between giggles. “You want me to talk to Kamui about the birds and the bees and how they do not relate to men?”

“If it will help…yes.”

He grins and I end up laughing again, unable to believe my fucking ears.

“I’m glad.”

“Huh?” I stop long enough to wipe the tears from my eyes, still chortling a little though.

“I said I’m glad to see you laughing in my presence, Duo.” He gives me another solemn look and my giggles die away as I realize that we might be sealing whatever deal we’ve made in the past few minutes. Am I really ready for this? Am I really sure I want to leave my mother in the hands of this man? It’s true that he’s changed and he’s no longer the cold guy Heero and I had met months ago and yet, deep down, I know I’ll have to learn how to forgive and forget…right? Dad would have done the same thing and even now, I can’t help wondering if he’s looking down at us right now and nodding in approval. Besides, it would be sorta cool to have a ‘real’ father-figure to talk to every once in a while…besides Harold and his dad that is.

“I can’t do anything without your blessing, Duo,” Saito says softly as if pleading for my final consent and for just one brief second, I feel empowered by his blatant humility.

I stare deeply into those gray eyes, searching for something…anything to make me find fault in him but all I see is that genuine sincerity and I know in my heart that this guy’s crazy about my mom. Despite all his faults, that’s one thing he’s willing to fight for.

“Just…just make my mom happy, okay?” I finally say in a voice thick and strained with emotion. Damn it. I’m not going to start crying am I? I take a deep breath and lift my gaze to the ceiling so I don’t give in to them.

“She’s been through a lot and…I just don’t want her to be sad anymore. So…so if you’re the guy that she wants and you can promise me that you’ll always do your best to make her happy…I guess you have my blessing.”

For a long moment, only the ridiculous tune from the TV fills the thick silence and I wonder if Saito’s upset with what I said, but then I hear a soft sniffle, as if he’s trying to hold back his tears and I give him a quick and slightly worried look.

“Thank you,” he whispers thickly, reaching out for me to grasp my hands within his. “Thank you so, so much, Duo.” He squeezes them gently and bows his head and finally the stupid tears I thought I had kept at bay, come trickling down my cheeks.

I guess that’s one Christmas gift taken care of. I’ve given my mom the happiness she deserves with the man she now loves. After a while, I look at the lowered head and wipe away my tears quickly.

“You might as well make yourself useful.”

Saito sits up slowly with a bemused expression on his tear-streaked face. We’re just a bunch of regular crybabies, aren’t we?

“What do you mean?”

I point to the basket of fruit he brought. “If Heero was here, he’d peel them for me and besides, they look good and I don’t want them to go to waste.”

He laughs softly and nods in agreement. “All right, Duo. As you wish.”

I allow him to prop me up and close my eyes, listening to the soft rustling sounds he makes as he moves about the room. I wonder how my mom would react if she knows that Saito and I are now tentative friends or even what Heero would think if he witnesses this scene. But most importantly, I wonder what my real dad in heaven thinks about all of this.

Did I do good, Dad? Was this the right move for me? You told me to learn how to forgive and forget and I’m going to try. It’s going to be hard but it’s one step at a time and I hope I’m making you proud of me…

“What the fuck is this?!”

“It’s a peeled orange.”

“Peeled orange?? Even a blind man could peel that better than you! It’s still got its skin in some places and look…you punctured it too!”

“Punctured?! What do you mean by…?!”

Thanks Dad. Thanks for showing me the power of forgiveness. I think everything will be just fine now as you’ve always wanted it to be.

~End Period Thirty-Eight~