Chapter 26:

A Work in Progress:

The first smells to hit me, as I open the box, are polished wood, old paper and cinnamon – a scent I’m rapidly beginning to associate with my father. For a second, peering into the box reveals nothing to me – I think the mind’s eye tends to blank things out before allowing our real eyes to recognize them – but that thought is soon dispelled as I stare at the treasures within. What catches my attention is a small purple velvet box, which on opening, reveals a bronze star-shaped medallion attached to a blue ribbon with yellow stars on it. It’s a medal of honor and according to the postscript attached to the box, it was awarded for showing courage under fire during the Balkan Raids almost eighteen years ago. Of course I do a mental calculation and figure that it’s around the time I was born or at least Eleanor was with child, but I decide to get back to that particular issue later. There’s so much more for me to explore in here.

Like a kid in a candy store, feeling more excited and yet nervous as hell, I bring out more awards and citations either rolled up like parchments or folded neatly. Several more medals lay in the box and all were given for his courageous work and service during his time in the 101st Airborne Division. Reading through each commendation fills my heart with pride – a sensation I cannot even begin to describe to you if I tried. I might not have known Daniel in person, but his credentials are astounding. It would have been so cool to be able to walk around showing this off to people and saying ‘Yes, I am someone’s son - someone important and brave by the way. So you’ve got to treat me with the respect I deserve.’ But it’s too late to muse about what would have been.

“Ah, pictures,” I whisper as I pick up the neat stack of prints which have been tied with a black ribbon. I have to chuckle a little at the first image that greets me. It’s a really old photograph and it’s one of a rather chubby baby mugging for the camera. I turn it around and sure enough, Daniel had written something behind it.

‘Me,’ he writes in a series of swoops and curves. It can be considered elegant calligraphy, if you’re into that kind of stuff. Hmm, it’s almost the way Heero writes now that I think of it. ‘I assume I was six months old by then.’

“Well, you were one healthy baby, dad.”

The next picture is just as old with a man and a woman dressed in evening wear. She’s sitting on a chair while the man is standing behind her. They look so prim and proper, not smiling as if forced to take the picture. However, there’s no denying who these people are. The man has a handlebar mustache and short black/brown? One can’t tell with the picture (since it’s in black and white) but those eyes and jaw is definitely a trademark. The woman is stunning…in a cold way. Maybe it’s because she’s not smiling but she looks like she belongs in a castle or ruling a kingdom. She’s wearing a white dress that’s so ‘proper’, even her neck is covered with its high collar. Her hair is a neat bun with only two curly tendrils framing her face. I’m sure my father inherited her cheekbones at least.

‘Edward and Margaret Maxwell – my parents,’ Daniel writes. ‘I did not know my mother unfortunately and my father died when I was five. This is the only picture I have of them.’

“Almost an orphan,” I say quietly as I look at the next picture. I have to fight back the sudden fit of giggles that attack me as I stare at the image of a much younger Archibald Winters. He must have been in his late twenties and a far cry from his present day Santa Claus imitation. With thick black hair done in the popular style of that time and those chiseled features, I’ll have to give Archibald his props. He was a looker in his heyday. In the picture, he’s grinning while holding on to my dad and another boy about his age on either side of him.

‘Me, Uncle Archie and Harold,’ Daniel writes. ‘This was taken in front of his house. I was six at the time. I had just moved in with them after my father’s passing.’

The next series of pictures reveals Daniel growing up in the Winters’ household. There are pictures of birthdays, grade-school photographs, Christmas, thanksgiving (not surprisingly Harold was in most of them and again I’m reminded of the man’s affection for my father. Poor guy. He must have fallen for my dad all these years and could never tell him.) Childhood pictures become teenage ones and now I get to see ‘myself’ in most of them. It’s a shock I can tell you that much. At some point, Daniel had let his hair grow out – well, not as long as mine, but long enough to make him look eerily like me.

‘Me and my first car! Boy, was I excited to get it. I had worked hard all summer saving up the money.’

I smile at the picture, even ‘feeling’ his joy as evident of the wide grin on his features as he posed beside the vintage Camaro. There are more pictures of him with his car and his friends, each picture telling a different story and sending me back to a time when things were uncomplicated and the future looked bright. It’s hardly surprising to notice that many of the pictures have him holding a cigarette between his fingers or stuck between his lips. I sigh softly, knowing that I would have walked down the very same path to an early grave if I hadn’t decided to quit.

His ‘civilian’ pictures come to an abrupt end and now I’m staring at a series of official military shots. There’s the fresh-faced cadet joining the military at 17, a picture with Harold – both in uniforms – standing in front of the military base. There’s a picture of Archibald – also in military attire with his two ‘sons’, and a very cool picture of Daniel standing before an F/A 22 Raptor. From the proud grin on his handsome visage, you could tell that it was something he was damn proud of. And why shouldn’t he? The F/A 22 is only one of the fastest fighter planes designed specifically for stealth purposes. And to think that my dad had flown one of those babies…wow.

However, my moment of pride is replaced with a sharp pang of sadness as I look at the next set of pictures. The first one is of a young girl in a yellow sundress leaning against a tree. She looks shy and yet simply breathtaking and since the pictures are now in color, those violet eyes seem to sparkle brilliantly.

‘Eleanor Rose’ Daniel writes, ‘The first woman I ever truly loved.’

“Oh, dad,” I whisper sadly. “Mom…”

There are more pictures of the two of them - arms around each other…Eleanor being carried like a baby…Eleanor on a piggyback ride on the beach...laughing…happy – actually happy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my mother look that happy before and I doubt she ever will. Her cheeks are rosy and there’s a look of perpetual content on her features. The last picture of the two have them both in formal wear…at least Eleanor was in a simple black evening gown, while Daniel looked devilishly handsome in his uniform.

‘Our last night together before my deployment to the Balkans.’

The night I was created, huh? My throat tightens as I stare at the picture, knowing it was the last time the two would ever get to be together before the ‘Great Change’ – before something happened to make Eleanor snap and make those rash decisions. I take a deep breath and struggle to compose myself, as the more recent pictures of my father come to view. Thankfully, he hadn’t put in any with his current family, and although one can see the effects of his smoking habit on his features, his eyes were still alive with enthusiasm and determination.

I place the pictures to the side and finally see it, a plain white envelope simply addressed to ‘Duo’. With hands that tremble slightly, I open it, already having an inkling of what it’s going to contain. Folded neatly and written on plain white sheets of paper in that now familiar swoops and curves, I begin to read silently,

“My dear son,

Sometimes I wonder if I ought to or even have the right to call you that since I know I’ve not been much of a father to you.

I wish I could express how hard this is for me and how long it took me to actually sit down to begin this letter. I mean what can you tell a son you’ve never met before? How do I begin to explain everything? How can I justify my actions or your mother’s? What kind of parents were we if we couldn’t even look after the one thing we created together? I cannot begin to imagine the hurt, confusion and pain you must have gone through while growing up. Neither can I imagine the hate and loathing you might harbor for me deep down inside.

I will make no excuses, Duo. There is really no reason for that. I can only hope that in time you can forgive us for the horrible mistakes we have done to you over the years.

It could be so easy for me to say that all blame should go to Eleanor or that she is completely at fault for whatever might have happened to you. I could easily turn a blind eye and forget your existence, but I can’t and I won’t, Duo. Ever since I learned about you, I’ve watched and listened to all I can about your activities. I am proud of your accomplishments and wish that I could tell it to you in person.

But why was I never there, you might ask. I’ll tell you why, son, I was terrified. Terrified of seeing the hate in your eyes if you finally got to see me. Unbelievable to know that one can experience such a thing at such a time, but it’s the truth. I wanted to talk to Eleanor first, to know if it was all right to speak to you. But I know now that it was a foolish idea on my part. I am your father after all and I have the right to talk to you whenever I feel like it. However, I knew you had been living with Eleanor for some time and I could only imagine the stories she must have told you about me. Showing up at your doorstep and proclaiming myself as your father wouldn’t have sat too well with either of you, would it? I doubt it and believe me, the last thing I wanted to do was to complicate your life even more. I believe the final blow came when Eleanor told me that you didn’t want to see me at all. That dashed my hopes in more ways than you can imagine. I told myself that I deserve it but now, after all this time, I know better.

By the time you get this letter, I’ll be long gone – a coward’s last hurrah you might say. Whatever is given to you in my will are only material rewards that could mean little to you. But it is the least I can do, Duo and I only hope that you will accept or at least think hard and long on what you wish to do with it.

I only ask for one thing in return – a selfish request perhaps but one that I hope you will take to heart someday – and that is to forgive Eleanor. Your mother has always loved you and will love you come what may, Duo. Deep down inside, she is a good woman and yet a free spirit, something I’ve always loved and admired in her. When I look at your picture, I see a bit of her in you and know that like she, you’ll reach great heights someday. It is not going to be an easy task to accomplish and I know that it will take some time to heal from all the pain she’s caused you but I have faith that someday you’ll be man enough to do the right thing.

Remember Duo that you are a work in progress, and that someday you’ll look back on these events and realize that things must have happened for a reason. I hope you live a fulfilling and rich life, my son and eventually discover a happiness that I had once shared with your mother. May all your dreams and wishes come true.

With much love always,
Dad.

P.S: As much as Duo seems to fit you, I would have rather called you James. But shssh, let this be a little secret between you and me.

“James…what a horrible name,” I say softly and to my surprise I burst out laughing and yet I’m crying at the same time. “James my ass. Some secret, dad.”

That makes me laugh and cry even harder and I’m sure anyone who chooses to come into the room now, can only assume that I might have gone mad. I end up reading the letter several times over, committing the words to heart and oblivious to time passing by rather quickly. There’s another letter in the box, but this is more business-like and contains details about Merck – a company he had inherited from a distant family relative. Apparently, my grandmother’s side of the family were aristocrats (old money as they call it) and Dad hadn’t known of that until his last living relative had died and handed everything to him. No wonder he’s so stinking rich. I did have my doubts that the military had given him this much money as pension. So, Harold and Archibald were to become my legal ‘guardians’ and would be the ones to guide me through the rigmarole of the Corporate world. Even sitting here and thinking about it is damn intimidating.

“Hmm?” There’s one more thing in the wooden box which I bring out with slowly. It’s a small black velvet box…small enough to hold…

“A ring?” I hold up the plain gold band, gasping softly at its brilliance as the sun’s rays hit its surface. I notice the engraving within - ‘For Eternity’ and feel my lips curving into a small smile as I realize who it must have been for. Further prodding reveals a small note attached beneath the lining of the box.

‘I would have given this to Eleanor after my return from the Balkans but now, I think it’s fitting that you have it. Perhaps some lucky girl in the future will get the opportunity to have it on her finger.’

Or lucky guy.

Feeling my heartbeat quickening, knowing I’m blushing heavily at the thought, I tuck the box with its precious content into the pocket of my jacket…just as the door opens and Heero sticks his head in with a frown on his features.

“You okay, Duo?”

It’s a good thing I’ve hidden the ring or I would have some explaining to do. “I’m cool,” I reply, trying to smile as best I can. “You can come in if you want. You look like you’ve been harassed.”

“Just about,” he says with an audible sigh of relief as he walks in and closes the door behind him. “The Garveys aren’t speaking to anyone…just sitting and mumbling to themselves and Harold keeps asking me questions about school and about our relationship and there’s your step-sister who has a crush on me.” He stops, seemingly hesitant about coming closer to all the personal items spread out on the table.

“Are you sure you want me here?”

“Of course I do,” I reach out to tug his wrist, pulling him closer while patting the chair beside me. “And what’s this about Amanda having a crush on you. Is that why she bolted the first time we came in?”

“I guess. But hopefully she’ll snap out of it quickly,” Heero mumbles, his cheeks flushing with color as he sits and eyes the pictures on his side. “That’s Daniel? He’s ho…handsome.”

“Hey, having a crush on my father now?”

“Duo!” He punches my shoulder playfully and continues to look at the photographs. I have to spend the next few minutes explaining most of them to him, although he does read behind them to get a gist of things. Like me, he’s also impressed with the fighter plane my dad piloted and we spend a few minutes talking about how fast it can go and how cool it would be to see one in person. I do not talk about the personal letter or the ring to Heero and I’m sure you can understand why.

“So how do you feel now?” he finally asks quietly. I can feel his fingers brushing back my hair from my cheek and I have to stop a smile from coming to my lips at how ‘domestic’ he’s being. Geez, we’re like an old married couple with the little things we do these days.

“I think I’ve just about cried enough to last me a lifetime,” I confess with a sheepish smile. “I’m all cried out, Yuy. It’s been one hell of an emotional weekend.”

He reaches out to squeeze my hand and I find myself staring at his fingers…his fourth finger to be exact. I can almost picture the ring there…hoping it would fit of course. I might have to resize it…

“What are you staring at?” he asks and I’m forced to lift my gaze, my cheeks flushing with color at the wary look in his eyes.

“Ah…nothing. Nothing at all,” I say quickly, releasing my hand from his grip to arrange the pictures and papers carefully. “We had better hurry. We’re leaving today, remember?”

“I know that. Archibald was getting restless out there too.” He falls silent and then, “Say…Duo…”

“Hmm?” I shut the box and make sure nothing’s been left out of place. “What’s up?”

“I…”

He stops and I finally turn to look at him, wondering why he’s this hesitant all of a sudden. But he’s not staring at me and his hands are clasped tightly on the table. He almost looks nervous about something and I can feel my heartbeat quickening again in concern. Oh God, please don’t let him say something dumb like he can’t be with me anymore because of my new status!

“Heero…?”

“You’re taking the job, aren’t you?” he asks quietly. “You’re going to take over the company, aren’t you?”

“Uum…well…I haven’t really decided yet, but I will think about it. I might have to take courses in economics and business and shit like that though,” I add with a soft laugh.

“So you will go to college,” he says, now looking at me with that intensity that’s so damn hot…if I wasn’t still feeling a bit panicked with the sudden interrogation.

“Yeah…after my hiatus.”

“Hia…?”

“The trip around the world, remember?” I chuckle. “I’m still going to do that no matter what.”

“But I’ll be one year…”

“No big deal. So you’ll graduate college before me, that’s cool.”

“Duo…”

“Geez, you worry too much, Heero.” I lean close to kiss him…and kiss him some more. Honestly, it gets addictive since he tastes so damn good. But the guy’s literally trembling and I’m not even touching him. “What are you so afraid of?” I whisper against his lips, pulling away slowly to stare at him in concern.

“I don’t…” He reaches out to fist my shirt, pulling me closer to him again. This time he takes charge of the kiss and I swear he’s slowly but surely driving me crazy with that tongue of his. By the time he releases me, we’re both panting for air and the ring in my pocket seems to be burning a hole right through the cloth.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he finally whispers, his arms wrapping themselves around my neck. “I want us to be together after high school, Duo and I’m so worried that when you leave…”

“Then come with me.” There. I’ve said it. It’s now up to him to say yes or no.

He pulls back a little and there’s an incredulous look on his face. “Come…?”

“Yes, Heero,” I say, now fervent and almost desperate to hear him say ‘yes’. “What’s one year away from school, huh? Everyone…okay most people do take a break to explore other places and sights and stuff, why can’t we?”

He lowers his gaze and gives a heavy sigh and I can feel my heart already growing heavy. He’s not going to come. I just know it.

“You know what? Forget I brought it up.”

“Duo…”

“It’s cool, Heero. Honest, it is. You need more time to think about it, right?” I smile at him and he gives me this really ‘I’m sorry’ look that makes me feel a bit angry. But there’s no use getting upset. I should have expected it. I mean, I’m disappointed, sure, but I’ve got to look at things from his perspective as well. Heero’s got a one-track mind – studying, studying and just in case you missed it, studying.

“Just don’t think too long, Heero,” I say as I rise to my feet to stretch stiff muscles from sitting for what seems like eons and meeting his gaze, I make it very clear to him. “We are running out of time.”

---

It was a bittersweet farewell for us and I don’t mean with the ‘wonderful’ Garvey family. Emily did come out from her bedroom long enough to wish me luck. Gabriel was disappointed I couldn’t stay to look at his comic book collection (as much as I wanted to) while Amanda simply waved and buried her face behind a graphic novel with two boys on the front cover. I’m quite familiar with what kind of a book that is since Relena and her friends tend to read it (and sometimes aloud to us guys whether we want to hear the gory details or not) all the time.

We had packed before leaving the hotel that morning, so there was no need to go back there to pick up anything. We were driven straight to the airport where Archibald and Harold had to say their goodbyes to us. I did find myself getting a bit emotional again. Archibald was now like a grandpa to me, considering how well he raised my father and all. He was surprised when I hugged him and even Harold too but I don’t regret it. These are the two people who knew Daniel inside out and I was glad that we would continue to build that relationship. Both men promised to contact me when I got back home and they would continue to keep in touch. They also told me not to hesitate to ask any questions regarding my inheritance and all that other legal stuff. They would always be there for me 24/7/365.

Unlike our trip here, the journey back home is a quiet and melancholy one. Heero has been staring out the window most of the time and hasn’t spoken much to me. I don’t bother trying to initiate conversation either. I’m mentally tired and not really in the mood for another argument between us. However, I’m not going to take back my words. I had meant it when I told him we didn’t have much time left. If he says no, then that’s it, once we graduate, we can go our separate ways until we meet again.

I sigh softly. Who am I kidding? Just the thought of not being with Heero for such a long time seems impossible and I’m not sure I can handle it. My hand seeks out the ring in my pocket and I pat it gently. I’m sure everything will work out eventually. It almost always tends to, doesn’t it?

“…raining.”

“Hmm?” I turn to look at him. He’s still staring out the window but I see what he’s talking about. The skies are gray and cloudy as fat drops of rain splash soundlessly against the thick window panes. “Typical Southern weather,” I add with a touch of amusement in my tone. “Sucks, doesn’t it?”

“Yes.”

I bite my lower lip and struggle not to scream or shake him for acting like such a goddamn robot! But instead, I remain silent and squirm in my seat. We’ll be landing in a few minutes and then it’s back to a cold, dreary evening in the city. Man, I’m already missing the North like crazy and the thought of going back to Heero’s apartment and being given the cold treatment is not going to be much fun.

“Say…Duo…”

“What now?” I say in a somewhat snappish tone. My nerves are getting frayed and I’m at my wits end with Heero and his moodiness. “If you want to yell at me or tell me what a jackass I am, then just say it and…”

“I’ll follow you.”

“…I’m not taking it back…huh?!”

“I said, I’ll follow you.” He finally turns his head to look at me and God help me, I’ve never seen those eyes so blue and beautiful before. “I’ll come with you. We’ll travel the world together. Just you and I.”

“Heero…?” Shit…and I’m not going to cry, goddamn it! But I swear, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all weekend! I’m so happy, I could just…

“Are you sure? You’re going to miss a year of college…” I finally ask in a voice that sounds like a frog trying to speak.

He smiles and reaches out to squeeze my hand gently. My fingers thread through his and hold on tight for fear that this moment will just turn out to be a figment of my imagination.

“I’m sure,” he says with a smile that’s almost shy. “A year apart from you? I don’t think I could do it. Hey…I thought you were all cried out. Why are you leaking again?”

“Shut up, Yuy,” I say, while making a big production of sniffling, as I lean closer to him to do just that. “Just shut up and kiss me already.”

Hey, what can I say, dad? It looks like this ring will be going to someone really special to me pretty damn soon. I think it’s safe to say that Heero and I are a work in progress too and someday we’ll look back at these events and know that they definitely happened for a reason.


~End Period Twenty-Six~