Author’s
Notes:
The next two chapters will deal with who this David person really is. It won’t
answer all the questions…yet. But it at least gives you an idea of what kind of
a guy he is.
I know you think that I
shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?
I promise I'm not trying to
make your life harder
Or return to where we were
-Dido
(White Flag)
SixteenA:
Interlude: David’s
Story (1)
The science of being a
teacher comes from one’s ability to break down the make-up of his or her
students. They were like lab experiments - experiments that could make or break
one’s career. It was a delicate and highly sensitive job. A job where one ought
to be careful in how he or she chooses to carry out the task to get the
expected result. And what happens when the perfect catalyst is added? Boom.
Magic happens.
The
young man with long, messy dark hair, that looked as if it needed a proper
haircut, sat in front of Father Johansson with
a sheepish grin on his face. He couldn’t be any older than twenty and yet he
looked so sure of himself. He didn’t look like he came from these parts either.
There was something about the young man’s eyes that were a bit unsettling to
the priest, but over the years he had come to learn one very important thing.
Never to judge a book by its cover. Johansson gave a light snort and slipped
his glasses on again. He picked up the resume and made a show of reading the
rather sparse but impressive work history.
So,
he has worked as an operative. When? When he was two years old?
But
the date-of-birth written on the birth certificate was not a lie or if it was,
then it was a poorly done one. The man was clearly twenty-years of age. If memory
served him correctly, working or even being a member of the nation’s Special
Operatives was a task that required a great amount of skill and a penchant for
handling situations that would have made ordinary men quake in fear. Death was
something that they had to deal with every other day. They were usually called
off for duties to places so remote that one would need a microscope to pinpoint
the exact locations on a map. Johansson had never really been a fan of war and
its repercussions, but he could understand the need for it. Rival nations had
begun small coup d’etat, assassinations and riots and the need to maintain the
peace had been necessary. No, the war wasn’t over yet, but they sure as hell
could use all the men they could get to help in the fight against it.
And
this young man had been a part of such a group at the tender age of fifteen?
That
was a bit unnerving.
“I
know I look a bit young…okay, so I am young, but I’m more than qualified for
the job, sir…I mean Father…”
Johansson raised a hand to silence the blubbering man as he
lowered the paper to pin intense gray eyes on him. He would have to choose his
words carefully.
“I
have no doubt that you are more than qualified for the job, Mr….” He glanced at
the paper, “Elroy. But we are talking about children here. Children who come
from bad homes, Mr. Elroy. Children who need guidance and counseling. Children
who need love and support from…”
A
thin smile spread across his handsome face. “Normal people, Father?”
Johansson
cursed inwardly and promptly begged the Lord for forgiveness. He hadn’t wanted
to make it that obvious, but it was clear that this man was too sharp for his
own good.
Hmm…he
was an operative after all. Part of the requirements.
“Mr.
Elroy,” he began quietly. It was a tone he used for students who had been
caught misbehaving. It was the tough-love voice and David could recognize it
from a mile away. But he kept quiet and allowed the priest to talk. There
really was no point in arguing with authority right now.
“Mr.
Elroy, I hope you know that I only do this for the school’s best interest.” He
stopped and peered carefully at the silent man, wondering if his words were
sinking in. The younger man had a rather disconcerting blank look on his
features and Johansson attributed it to his years of training. He could feel a
light sheen of sweat break out on his brow as he tried to hold the dark gaze
before him. He couldn’t allow this man to faze him that easily.
“St.
Gabriel’s is a school dedicated to the up keep of this society. I need not tell
you what kind of a society this is…”
David’s
smile became a bit more genuine as he nodded quickly. “Yes, sir…father. I read
about this place and that was why I decided to come here. Everyone knows the
deplorable conditions of the Southern mainland and I wanted to come here to do
all I can to help out. I know I can only be a teacher, but if my teachings can
be of any contribution to the children’s upbringing…then, that’s all that
matters to me.”
What
is he smiling about? He sounds as if he thinks he’s the Messiah. Come to rescue
the school now, have you?
Johansson
took off his glasses and rose to his feet. He placed his hands behind his back
and paced the large office in slow but steady strides. Stopping before the
large crucifix of the Lord, he closed his eyes and gave a soft nod.
“I
applaud your efforts to help out in the cause for world reformation, Mr. Elroy,
but you see…we are talking about an entirely different world here. Tell me, Mr.
Elroy,” he continued conversationally, his eyes still closed. “When did you
return from the battlefields, so to speak?”
David’s
hands, which had been clasped on his lap, tightened as he stared blindly at the
picture of Mary and her son that had been placed reverently on the priest’s
large desk.
“Mr.
Elroy…”
“I
returned about six months ago…sir…Father,” he finally replied in a tight voice.
Why was he going to talk about this now? He didn’t want to rehash the past. The
doctor at the base had told him that getting a job now would be a good way to
block the memories. Why was Father
Johansson
going this far? “But, I really do not see the need for…”
“Six
months ago, hmm?” Johansson interrupted
quietly. “Six months is hardly enough time to recuperate from the traumas of
such a war, is it now, Mr. Elroy?”
David’s
glare, which he made no attempt to hide, was now focused on the tall man in the
black robe. His fingernails were now digging red grooves into the palm of his
hand as he tried to control himself. It wouldn’t do to get angry now. He needed
this job. He needed to work. Anything to get rid of the nightmares.
“I
went through three months of counseling at the base before being released,
Father,” he explained in a voice that was surprisingly devoid of the anger he
was beginning to feel. “I might have been through a war, but I am sure I can
handle troublesome children quite easily, sir. I will not…beat them or scold
them unnecessarily, if that is what you fear. I think I am sane enough to know
the difference between merciful punishment and outright brutality.” And beneath
his breath he finished softly. “Believe me, I have seen brutality.”
Johansson
opened his eyes. It would be so easy to say ‘yes’ and give in to this man.
There was no doubt that teachers were needed in the school. More and more
parents were beginning to send in their children due to the new
‘Free-Schooling-For-The-Underprivileged Act’ that had been signed a few months
ago. It had been a big brouhaha back then and Johansson and his staff of a
meager twenty nuns and ten priests had been overwhelmed by the influx of new
students. Unfortunately, the merciful act by the government had only done more
to bring in children from both ends of the spectrum. There were, of course, the
diamonds within the rough – excellent students that excelled in everything they
did. And then the rough – which was approximately eighty percent of the school,
who were nothing but problem kids with a penchant for driving their teachers
insane.
So
maybe, they did need someone like a David Elroy in their school. Perhaps he
could be the one to whip them into shape.
/I
know the difference between merciful punishment and outright brutality…/
Do
you really? I wonder, Mr. Elroy.
A
light knock on the door broke the tense silence.
“Enter.”
The
large solid oak door slowly creaked open and a young priest quietly stepped in.
He gave a quick bow of acknowledgement to David, before reaching for the
outstretched hand of Father Johansson to place a kiss of respect on it.
“What
is it, Father Malfoy?”
“Please,
Father,” the priest began in an apologetic tone as if he was to blame for what
was to be said. “It’s the students of Class 3-A again. They were supposed to be
doing a chemistry lab experiment and…. well…”
Johansson groaned at what was obviously coming next. He idly
wondered if the Secretary of Education was at home right now to receive his
incoming call.
“Let
me guess,” David interrupted with a knowing smile. “They set the lab on fire,
right?”
Malfoy,
a member of the St. Gabriel’s staff for six years come next month, turned
relief-filled eyes to the visitor. At least someone understood the troubles he
was going through. “Yes, they did, sir,” he said with a small smile, although
it was quickly wiped off by Johansson’s sharp words.
“How
bad is the damage?” He was already making his way towards the coat stand to
pick up his stole. Raising it to his lips, he muttered the traditional words of
prayer…
Give
me anew, O Lord, the stole of immortality, which I have lost by the
prevarication of the sin of our first parents; and although I am unworthy to
approach the holy mysteries, may I yet merit eternal joy
…before
placing it around his neck. David watched all of this with acute fascination.
The world of Priests and the Church in general was something that was quite
intriguing to the young man.
Malfoy
looked as if he suddenly didn’t want to be in the room, but he replied quietly
nonetheless.
“We
were able to put the fire out just in time before it could get any…”
“Just
answer the question, Father Malfoy,” Johansson cut in calmly, although the
other two men could tell that he was far from that underneath.
“The
entire lab will need to be renovated, Father,” came the muffled answer as
Malfoy gave a bow while saying this.
Johansson
remained silent for a long time, his brows furrowed in thought as he tapped his
fingers against his thigh gently. Suddenly, he asked curtly. “Are you a religious man,
Mr. Elroy?”
David,
a bit stunned at the sudden interrogation, shook his head quickly. “No…but I do
know all about God and…”
“Then
you had better become one fast, my good man,” the priest cut in with a grim
smile.
“Because
you are going to need a lot of prayers to get through this school year.”
And
that was how David Elroy got the job.
He
keeps to himself, the neighbors often said. He doesn’t talk much, although he
likes to smile and wave at others. He doesn’t cause any trouble. Yeah, he might
look like a Northerner, but he was alright. As long as he didn’t bring any
trouble, they could deal with him. However, many didn’t understand the young
man’s rather eccentric quirk. It wasn’t anything that bad, but it was enough to
get them talking amongst themselves.
Maybe
he’s lonely, they would say.
Or
maybe he just likes them, that’s all. Where was the crime in that?
And
besides, whose business was it anyway?
No,
just as long as he didn’t cause any trouble, they were more than fine with him.
Maybe
all Northerners were crazy like that.
“Here
ya go, David. Another shipment of books just came in last night and I brought
out the best of the best for ya.”
David
stuck the entire apple he had been chewing into his mouth and grinned around
it, causing the bookkeeper to burst out laughing at the rather ridiculous sight
he made. He pushed the large brown box filled with Classics towards the eager
young man and sat down to watch his reaction.
It
never failed to amaze him how much David enjoyed books. Ever since the young
man had moved into the neighborhood, he had made this small book store his
second home. He was sure that this man had read every book on his shelf already
and it was becoming rather hard to keep up with his demands. But then again, he
wasn’t complaining. He had been in this business for over forty years and not
once had he ever felt so much pride and joy in sharing his passion for reading
with another person.
This
David was a pretty damn good kid.
“Holy
shit,” came the soft gasp of awe, as David threw the core of the fruit into a
nearby trashcan. He cradled the hardbound book like a newborn baby, lean
fingers caressing it reverently. “James Elroy. The Big Nowhere. My
God….how much did you pay for this stuff, Shuman?”
“Not
much. The guy at the plant said he was about to throw the damn stuff out
anyway, so I figured what the hell, eh?” he chuckled and had the grace to blush
a little at the look of pure gratitude on the younger man’s face. “Ah hell,
don’t gimme that look. You’ve been a loyal customer now and it’s the least I
could do. So…take it and go on home now.”
“But
I have to pay…”
“Take
ya money, kid. You’ve paid me plenty by showing up here and making me feel as
if I ain’t doing such a bad job of being a bookseller,” he nodded with a small
wistful sigh. “I don’t think this shop would have continued if ya hadn’t shown
up, Davey. I owe ya more than one measly book, that’s for sure.”
The
teacher hugged the book to his chest and rose to his feet. He did not want to
embarrass them both by hugging the older man, so he settled for a warm smile
instead. “I can’t thank you enough for this, Shuman. I…”
The
old man shooed him away with a wave of his hand. “Run off now, kid before I
make ya dust out the back for me. Hmmm…that might not be such a good idea as ya
like the back, don’t ya?”
This
made them both laugh at the inside joke. The last time David had volunteered to
help Shuman clean up the small but well-stocked bookstore, he had spent the
entire evening stuck in the backroom reading his heart out. Time had flown by
and if Shuman hadn’t come back to check one last time, he would have ended up
locking David in the shop that night.
The
dull chime from St. Gabriel’s startled him out of his reverie. “Shit! I forgot
it was my turn to welcome back the kids from evening Mass. Gotta fly, Shuman.”
He placed the book back into his box of treasures and lifted it up with a small
grunt. And managing a one-fingered wave to the grinning old man, he made his
way out of the store and into the relatively busy streets. Luckily, his home
wasn’t too far away from the bookstore and he could make it there and still
have time to catch up with the bus at the church.
He
had been working at St. Gabriel’s for about five months now and so far things
hadn’t really gotten too bad for him. Yes, the students he had been assigned
(surprise, surprise Room 3-A) had doubted and given him problems from the
get-go. Dealing with petulant and wild teens, who had no care for authority had
almost driven him to the brink of despair. But he knew he was being tested and
besides, he had wanted the job badly, hadn’t he? And although Father Johansson
had given him free reign to do what he wanted, there was no doubt that he was
being watched like a hawk.
It
could be nerve wracking at times.
“Hi,
Mrs. Bickers,” he greeted with a wide grin. The old lady that lived on the
lower floor of the apartment building smiled back at him. David was sure she
couldn’t even remember his name, but it didn’t matter, though. It was nice to
be living among real people again. Conditioning oneself to be immune to
human emotions for almost five years was enough to do some things to one’s
psyche. But David was glad that he had turned out alright. He knew of other
comrades who had gone insane or suicidal due to the traumas faced during the
wars. But counseling and now this job had gotten him right back on track. Even
the nightmares weren’t so bad anymore.
He
reached the fifth floor and made his way towards his room only to find himself
suddenly being pushed against the wall so hard that his eyes watered in pain.
He held the box tighter against his chest and tried to convince himself that he
wasn’t about to be bullied again. Fat fucking chance.
“Whatcha
gat there, Davey?” came the low guttural voice. “Geez…more books. Man, you are
such a freaking nerd.” The box was shoved to the ground and David watched in
growing anger as his precious items were kicked around. He glared at the
multi-colored haired man before him and biting back the venomous words that
threatened to spill from his lips, he fell to his knees and began to pick them
up quickly.
“What’s
the matter, Davey, cupcake? Don’t ya like to see your books being read!”
The man kicked James Elroy’s book down the long flight of stairs, causing David
to cry out in pure fury. Any other book but that one! He had waited months for it and now this!
Completely
forgetting the promise to his counselor about not getting violent, he got to
his feet and drew back his fist, ready to punch the smug smile off the ugly
bastard’s face, when a group of five boys or so came running up the stairs and
right through them. David barely had time to step out of the way as the
children’s movements forced him against the wall again. He struggled to steady
himself, but felt something hard pressed against his chest. His defenses rose,
and in an attempt to stop his new attacker, he reached out to push the thing
away, only to blink at what met his gaze
It
was his book. The James Elroy book.
What
the…?
He turned to catch a glimpse of the person that had given it back to him, but all he could make out from the boys who were now running up the stairs was that one seemed to have really long hair done in a braid. As he stared, the boy in question spun around quickly and gave him a smile, before he disappeared around the corner and out of sight. It had been brief, but for that one split second, David had felt an electric jolt so strong that it had almost sent him to his knees.
Who
is he?
A
sound on his left had him spinning around quickly, more than ready to give someone
a piece of his mind, but it was only the sound of Mr. Jackson throwing out an
empty waste bin. He gave a small sigh of relief, unaware that he had been
holding his breath for so long. Fuck face had left, it seemed, and David had
even more reason to thank the boisterous boys for breaking up the impending
fight. He bent down to pick up his books again and as he caressed the hardbound
book gently, he thought of the mysterious boy that had helped him.
Two
boring and uneventful weeks went by and before long, it was almost time to
prepare the kids for finals. But today was a Sunday and on Sundays, David had
nothing better to do than to spend the day at the local park and possibly read
a book or two. He eyed his selections for the day as he shrugged into his
t-shirt. He had already begun reading ‘The Big Nowhere’, but he figured he
would take something lighter to read along the way. He hummed softly to himself
as he ran his fingers through his hair. His apartment was already small, but
with the number of books he had accumulated during his short stay, there was
barely any room for anyone to stand. Stepping over a pile of Shakespeare’s
works…
I
have really got to get me some more boxes…
…David
eyed his reflection in the small mirror above his bed. He was a twenty-year-old
who had no girlfriend or any kind of social life. Man, how pathetic was he? It
wasn’t as if he hadn’t gotten looks from some of the girls around the
neighborhood, but he was too damn shy and always felt awkward in their
presence. He always felt as if he could never find the right words to say and
so had taken to staying completely away in the end. His ‘molester’ was Mikey.
Mikey was a drug junkie who lived on the top floor of the building (thank
goodness) but it still didn’t stop him from seeking
David out at every opportunity he got. To Mikey, he was a pretty boy that
needed to be sent back to his faggot base in Shitsville to get laid pretty
hard. David wasn’t really bothered by the gay jokes. He wasn’t exactly a virgin
in that sense. He, after all, had spent his ‘learning’ years on a military base
filled with guys. He just didn’t appreciate people rubbing it in his face all
the time.
What
I need is a girlfriend, he thought with a firm nod as he slipped into his boots. “I need a girl
and then I will be back to a hundred percent.” At least he hoped he would.
He
eyed the James Elroy book and the image of the boy came to his mind again. He
couldn’t help it. Each time he looked at the damned book, he would also see
that long braid and that smile. What the fuck was wrong with him? The boy
couldn’t be any older than ten…twelve tops and yet…
Fucking
pervert. One of the sick tendencies that the war leaves you with, eh, David?
Now you are going to lust after a boy who isn’t even legal. Way to go, man.
He
cursed and got to his feet. His hands reached for the book and he quickly
tucked it within his jacket. He hadn’t seen the boy since that incident and
maybe it was for the best.
It
wasn’t really visible – the line of divide that is – but it was there alright.
Just take one step out of Lilburn Street and you were smack dab in the middle
of Richville. Of course, a main highway was the dividing line, but who counted
that? David crossed the pedestrian bridge quickly, hoping that the policemen
who patrolled the area wouldn’t notice how ‘different’ he looked. He had worn
something decent (jeans and a clean t-shirt). He hoped it would be good enough
to fool them into thinking he was a member of their society.
What
a joke. Segregation everywhere.
He
eyed the expensive looking shops and the expensive looking cars. Hell! Even the
air smelled expensive. Slowly shaking
his head in a mixture of awe and mild disgust
he made his way towards the small but breathtaking
Dream
on…
He
opened his eyes and pulled out his book, before muttering beneath his breath.
“Darkness and light. Light and darkness. In this world of darkness…where is my
light?”
“Are
you crazy, sir?”
He
sat upright in surprise, eyes widening in shock as he realized that someone was
actually standing next to him. He slowly took in
the tailor-creased black pants and the simple white dress shirt in silent awe.
Rather expensive stuff, but the sight of the pink-colored lollipop in the
person’s left hand had him doing a double take.
It
was a girl. A girl with really long blonde hair that fell to her waist. Her
blue eyes were staring at him with interest and as David watched, she stuck the
lollipop back into her mouth and sucked on it…hard.
He
felt something stir and he cursed inwardly. Was he crazy? He probably was.
“Are
you deaf, sir?”
At
least she was polite enough to call him sir after each insult. He smiled warmly
and shook his head. “No, young lady. I am not crazy or deaf.”
He
noticed that the girl had raised a brow in surprise for a moment, before she
burst into giggles.
Man,
but she was very pretty. He wondered who her parents were.
“I
am not a girl.”
David
did another double take. She was kidding, right?
The
boy smirked. “I would love to prove it to you, but I’m afraid that Miss. Sarah
would not approve of me being naked in public.”
David
was embarrassed to find himself blushing at the comment and he still wasn’t
sure of what to say, but the boy wasn’t done yet. “You were quoting something.
It sounded very sad. What was that?”
“How
long have you been standing here?” the teacher asked a bit defensively. He had
been so engrossed in his daydreams that he had
failed to notice another presence. Damn, his defenses were slipping badly.
The
blonde grinned and darted out a tongue to lick the candy slowly. David could
have sworn that the boy was doing this on purpose.
“Long
enough,” came the vague reply. “So? What were you mumbling about?”
“Life.”
“And
what about life?”
“Life
isn’t always what it seems.”
“Is
life cruel?”
“Very
cruel.”
“Is
it filled with darkness?”
“The
hate that fills our hearts makes it reek with darkness.”
“Is
that why you say you need your light?”
David
smiled softly. “Yeah…yeah, you could say that.”
The
boy stuck the lollipop back into his mouth and remained immobile for a few
minutes. David wondered what he was thinking. He sure as hell hadn’t had this
sort of conversation with a…
“How
old are you?” he asked quickly.
“Twelve….and
you?”
“Twenty.”
“Are
you a pervert?”
David
choked in surprise and shook his head rapidly. “No, no, no. I am not…”
“Sarah
says that perverts are everywhere.”
David
thought that Sarah needed to be shot.
“Sarah
says that you might be a pervert.”
“…”
He
scratched his head and chuckled. “Oh? And how would Sarah know that?”
The
boy shrugged as if the conversation was getting too boring for him. “She’s an
old hag. Anyway, she doesn’t let me have any fun.” And then suddenly, he
blurted out quickly, “I wish I could go to the other side.”
David
had a good idea of what the blond meant. “Why do you want to go to the other
side?”
The
boy sucked harder on his lollipop before smiling brightly. “Why, to look for my
light as well!”
“Milliardo!
Milliardo, come here! It’s time to go home!”
“Oops!
That’s Sarah. I have to go now.” The boy spun on his heels and was about to
make his way towards the plump female that had bellowed his name, when he
stopped and turned back again. “What’s your name, sir?”
Still
feeling pole-axed from the boy’s earlier reply, David could only mutter out
weakly. “David…David Elroy.”
Milliardo
gave a curt nod and another breathtaking smile. “I will be looking out for you,
Mr. Elroy! I hope you find your light!”
And
with those words of departure, the blond ran towards the safety of his home,
while the teacher was left alone with his bewildered thoughts.