Gravedigger, when you dig my
grave
Will you make it shallow?
So that I can feel the rain…
-
Dave Matthews Band
(Gravedigger)
Eighteen:
Horror-stricken and
dumbstruck, the two boys could only watch their friend slump against the window
seat with mouths agape. They didn’t really know what they had expected Heero’s
reaction to be, but it certainly hadn’t been the piercing cry of anguish that
seemed to resonate within the solid walls of the room. With a hoarse cry of
dismay, Quatre ran towards his friend, but not before giving his companion a
cold look – that was quite unjustified in Trowa’s opinion.
“Heero!
Heero, answer me!” came the frantic plea for revival as the blond held the
immobile figure in his arms. He slapped the boy’s cheeks gently, noticing with
growing alarm that Heero’s features seemed to have paled considerably. “Goddamn
it! Heero, wake up!!”
“It’s
no use shaking him,” Trowa reasoned, even though his voice sounded a bit rough
and weary. He fell to his knees beside them and carefully lifted Heero’s arm to
check for his pulse. It was steady but very slow and for the first time in a
long while, he felt an overwhelming sense of guilt so strong that his eyes
burned with unshed tears. If only he hadn’t opened his mouth to say anything.
He cleared his throat and continued quietly. “We had better…”
The
door burst open so suddenly that both boys gave small cries of surprise as they
noticed the heaving figure of the teacher. It was clear that the older man had
run all the way up to the room. And hardly giving Trowa or Quatre a chance to
speak, he made his way towards Heero’s side.
“What
happened?” he asked frantically, as he took in the silent figure. His heart was
pounding so fast that he was sure it would burst. “What the hell happened to
him?” he asked louder as neither boy had made an attempt to answer.
Trowa
stared into wild amethyst depths and saw the genuine concern and fear within
them. He shook his head and tried to form the right words to say, but nothing
would come out. Finally, Quatre whispered softly, unable to look at the teacher
directly. “He…he just had a quarrel with Relena and…and…and I think…”
“The
stress of the day must have gotten to him,” Trowa finished quickly, his gaze
never wavering from the violet ones before him. What was he hoping to see
besides the look of obvious concern? Was he hoping that perhaps Duo would break
down and confess to his ‘crimes’? The teacher had obviously not come to the Yuy
household with the intention of killing them or Heero. Duo Maxwell was a man
who had turned a new leaf, right? He was a man who probably had a reason for
doing such a hideous act and had gone through years of therapy and had…
“He
needs to be taken to his room,” came the quiet words that jarred through the Barton
heir’s thoughts. “Please have Yuzuki come to meet him. I’m sure she is the only
one that will be able to help him right now.”
The
teenagers exchanged a quick, but meaningful look and nodding curtly, Quatre
rose to his feet and left the room in search of the maid.
Duo
gave a light grunt as he lifted Heero in his arms. The boy was surprisingly
heavier than he looked. He stared again at the lax, pale features, wondering
just what kind of an argument he and Relena had had. But still, there was something
not right about the entire situation. Even though Duo wanted to believe that it
was the only reason for Heero’s collapse, a small part of his mind cried out
for the truth – that somehow, it was something about him that had caused
Heero to crumple.
The
boy’s expression moments earlier had been enough evidence. Heero had been
looking directly at him with a look of pure terror on his features.
Unconsciously, his arms tightened around the boy’s body, pressing his slender
warmth against the chill that filled him. Was the whole thing his fault? Had
his presence here done more to worsen Heero’s condition?
/If
you really love this kid, you are going to have to make one of the biggest
sacrifices of your life. Forget David, Duo. And if you can’t do that…then
there is no need for you to remain here. Get out of Heero’s life now before you
make it even worse than it is. /
Shit.
“Duo?
Duo, is everything alright?”
The
tutor lifted his head slowly to give a weak nod in agreement. “I’m…I’m fine,
Trowa,” he replied quietly. “Why don’t you open up the door and lead me to his
room.”
“Alright.”
Trowa,
slowly opened the door, noticing that a few maids and butlers were whispering
amongst themselves within the main hallway. Seeing the Barton heir step out of
the den had them returning to their duties just as quickly as they had
gathered. The teen gave an inward sigh and turned back to motion for Duo to
follow. Tongues were already wagging and there was bound to be even more rumors
spreading around as the teacher and his comatose student stepped out to face
them.
Duo
hardly gave another person a glance as he made his way up the stairs as quickly
as he could. He was now oblivious to everything that went on around him. All he
could see and hear was the steady but slow breathing of the boy within his
arms. He couldn’t afford to lose anyone else so close to him again. He had lost
David and he couldn’t lose Heero too. He just couldn’t!
Trowa
gently pushed open the door leading to Heero’s room and Duo stepped into it. He
immediately felt a wave of déjà vu wash over him in a rush. Wasn’t it just a
few weeks ago that he had stepped into this very room daring Heero to join them
for a barbecue? Things had been different back then. Things had seemed so
simple and…innocent. There had been laughter and fun, but now…Heero’s decision
to fall in love with him had made things more complicated than usual.
You
picked the wrong man to fall in love with, kid, he thought ruefully as he
gently placed the boy between expensive cotton sheets. You could have done
so much better…
“It’s
all my fault,” Trowa, who had been silent all this time, muttered thickly.
Duo,
in the process of pulling up the blanket to tuck around Heero, froze as he
stared at the green-eyed boy in bemusement. “What…what do you mean?”
The
teen shifted his foot from one side to another; a nervous movement that did not
escape the teacher’s sharp eyes, as he ran fingers through his hair restlessly.
He walked towards his friend’s desk and picked up one of Heero’s sketchpads.
His hands caressed the leather bound book gently. He couldn’t bear to look into
Duo’s eyes as he confessed.
“I
was doing research about…” He shook his head quickly as if trying to get rid of
some stray thought. “I was just doing research about cities and crime rates…”
He
didn’t hear Duo’s soft intake of breath, neither did he see his fingers tighten
around the cashmere blanket.
“…when…when
I stumbled across,” He dropped the pad on the table, hands now trembling as he
forced himself to continue. “I stumbled across some police records with your
name in their database, Duo.”
He
bit his lower lip and waited for the explosion, the anger, the vehement
denials, but to his growing confusion, nothing was heard from the older man. Trowa
dared to turn his head a little to glance at the silent figure of the teacher.
Duo had a haunted look on his features as his gaze seemed to be transfixed on
an oil painting above Heero’s bed.
Trowa
felt his stomach lurch in worry and dismay.
“Please,
please don’t think that I set out trying to find out about your past, Duo,
please!” the boy pleaded desperately as he made a move towards the teacher. “I
didn’t mean to pry and if I could turn back time, I would have. I know that
you’ve…you’ve probably changed and all, but I just felt that Heero ought to
know about you and I didn’t mean to tell him…I mean, I didn’t know that he
would…”
A
gentle hand placed on his shoulder silenced his blubbering. Trowa was alarmed
to find that he had tears in his eyes and he swiped them away quickly as he
stared into the warm amethyst ones above him. The haunted look was gone from
the teacher’s visage, and the familiar friendly one that they had gotten used
to had returned, causing Trowa to feel a certain weight lifted off his chest.
“Duo…”
he began weakly, only to hitch in a soft breath as he felt the older man’s
fingers gently brush away the stray tears on his cheek. He couldn’t control the
shiver that coursed through him at the touch and for one brief moment, Trowa
felt a jealousy well within him like nothing he had ever experienced before.
Heero was lucky to have a man like Duo in his life. With hands and a smile like
that…who needed anyone else?
“There
is nothing to apologize for,” Duo said softly, fingers continuing to wipe away
the boy’s tears. “So, you happened to stumble upon a dark part of my life and
that is quite unfortunate, but it doesn’t mean that I’m going to get
unnecessarily upset over such a thing. You had no control over what happened
and you thought you were doing the right thing by telling Heero, right?”
The
boy could only nod softly.
A
low moan from the bed had both of them turning quickly. Duo’s heart rate
quickened as he took a tentative step towards the bed. He wasn’t sure he ought
to be in the same room with Heero as he was coming to. The shock of seeing his
face again might turn out to be a bad thing in the long run for the teen.
“Maybe…maybe
I shouldn’t be here,” he began weakly, only to feel a sharp ache pierce his
heart as Heero moaned out his name. “Oh god…”
“Perhaps
you should stay,” Trowa reasoned softly, as he tried to give the worried
teacher a reassuring smile. “He might freak out, but I think that both of you
really need to sit down and talk things over with one another, don’t you
agree?”
Heero
gave another thick moan as splayed fingers tried to reach out for something.
There was a frown on his face. It looked like he was searching for something or
someone. Duo’s fingers itched to clasp the trembling ones on the bed, but a
sudden shyness crept over him causing them to remain stuck within his pockets.
Trowa
noticed and gave an inward sigh of exasperation. With a shake of his head, he
reached for Duo’s hand, ignoring the surprised gasp the teacher gave and led
him closer to the boy on the bed. He used a foot to drag one of the chairs in
the room a bit closer and forced Duo to sit on it.
“Here,”
he said in a tone that sounded as if he was talking to a two-year-old. “This is
how it’s done, Duo. You sit there and do this.”
And
tugging on the flushed teacher’s trembling hand, Trowa brought it closer to
Heero’s.
“Go
on,” he urged gently as he released the strong hand.
Knowing
that any protests he might have would fall on deaf ears, Duo’s fingers slowly
wrapped themselves around Heero’s. They were immediately held captive as the
boy whispered Duo’s name again.
“Don’t…don’t
leave me…Duo…”
The
teacher’s heart bled as he lowered his head to rest it upon their clasped
hands. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything in response.
What
was there to say really?
Quatre
was quite familiar with the Yuy’s household and knew just where to look for
Yuzuki. Of course his initial search had taken him to the kitchen, but he had
been told that the head maid was not around and hadn’t been seen for quite some
time. Thinking nothing of it, as everyone seemed to be preparing for the party
tomorrow night, Quatre had decided to make his way towards the servant’s
quarters to find her.
Normally,
such an action would have been frowned upon, as masters of households were not
usually allowed to go towards the ‘lowly’ areas of the servants or maids. But
things were different these days and besides, Quatre had always played around
Yuzuki’s garden with Heero as a child. She was practically a big sister to all
of them.
Her
bungalow was easily the most recognizable and the biggest of all. It was a
whitewashed building with beautiful dark blue awnings on its windows and front
door. A breathtaking garden filled with enough rose bushes to last a lifetime,
created a surreal atmosphere to the simple home. There was a garage on the left
that had been a playground for he, Trowa and Heero on many an occasion. Yuzuki
had always had her small black Mazda parked in the driveway as a sign of her being
at home. If the car was in the shop, then the only other way of knowing that
she was around was the sweet smell of either cookies or a cake baking in the
oven. Either way, Quatre was looking forward to seeing the maid again, even
though he had a rather dire message to give to her.
He
made the turn leading to her house and was surprised to see that the familiar
car wasn’t around. Did she have to leave for an errand? That job was usually
reserved for others and at a time when the house needed her most, Yuzuki
wouldn’t have left for grocery shopping. A movement at the lady’s front door
had the blond doing a double take. It was Mr. Hanada – a butler who had been in
the Yuy household almost as long as Yuzuki had. What was he doing here? And why
did it look as if he was locking up the maid’s house?
“Mr.
Hanada?” he called out quickly as he pushed open the small white gate that led
to the driveway. “Where is Yuzuki?”
The
butler seemed startled at the boy’s presence, but was quick to mask his
surprise as he gave a polite bow to the Winner’s only son. “Ah, Master Quatre,
what a pleasant…”
“Where
is Yuzuki?” The blond asked again, aquamarine depths flashing with near
desperation now. “Why are you locking up her house? Is she alright?”
The
butler lowered his gaze, but Quatre had seen the brief look of pain that
flashed across the older man’s face. He could feel his palms dampen with sweat
as he tried not to allow panic to well up within him. Something wasn’t right
here.
“Hanada…”
“If
it pleases, Master Quatre,” the man began in an apologetic tone. He was
beginning to look very uncomfortable. “If it pleases, Master Quatre, Yuzuki is
not around at this time. She had to leave for her home for an urgent family
affair and is sorry for leaving so abruptly.”
Quatre
felt dizzy. Hanada’s words seemed to be coming from a distance and he could
feel his mouth getting dry. This wasn’t happening. Without Yuzuki, Heero could
end up becoming even more of an emotional wreck. Forget Hikari, it was only the
maid that was capable of handling the teen during times like this. Even Duo had
noticed it and hadn’t sent for the boy’s mother.
“When
is she coming back?” he asked thickly. “When is she coming back?!”
The
butler barely cringed at the loud cry as he gave another bow. “If it pleases…”
“It
doesn’t please me, so stop saying that!” came the cry of despair. “You’ve got
to find her and bring her back now! Give me the keys!” He grabbed the set that
dangled off the edge of Hanada’s coat pocket and dashed quickly towards
Yuzuki’s door. Frantic fingers struggled to find the right key as he ignored
the harried words of disapproval from the butler.
“She
has to be here! She just has to be!” Quatre continued to mutter to himself as
he finally found the right one. The door was thrust open roughly and almost
falling to the ground in his haste, wild dark-green depths surveyed the neat
but empty living room before him.
“Nee-san!”
came the loud cry as he ran towards the rooms at the other end. “Nee-san!!”
Yuzuki had taught them Japanese. Yuzuki had told them to call her that. Yuzuki
had always had a warm smile and a tray of cookies in her hands every Saturday
afternoon.
“Nee-san!!”
“Please,
Master Quatre, listen to me,” Hanada tried to explain as he followed the
frantic boy’s hurried movements. The blond had begun to search under the
furniture and in closets, perhaps hoping that the woman would suddenly appear
before them with a smile and a laugh.
/It’s
all a joke, she would say. I was just fooling around. I’m still here. Always
have been…/
Quatre
burst into her bedroom and froze in the doorway. He didn’t need to go any
further as the unmade bed and empty closet signaled all that he had not wanted
to tell himself.
“Nee…san…”
he fell to his knees, eyes glazed in disbelief and shock. She couldn’t have
left. Yuzuki was not the kind of woman who would up and leave for no reason at
all. What about Heero? Why hadn’t she even bothered to say goodbye? Didn’t she
care about them anymore?
Hanada
lowered his head, knowing that there were just times when words were never
enough to express one’s feelings inside.
“I
am sorry, Master Quatre,” he finally said quietly. “That was all she told me to
tell you…”
It
was unbelievably hot, at least Relena tried to convince herself of that as she
picked up the elegantly decorated Chinese fan from the table. In quick
movements, she tried to cool off her heated skin, even though her mind
continued to race with thoughts of her last argument with her fiancé. Oh yes,
Heero was still her fiancé and nothing was ever going to change that.
On
the other hand, she would have to do something about Duo being around. It was
clear that the older man was the cause for her boyfriend’s sudden
transformation. Something had to be done and done quickly.
“Goodness,
talk about getting a shocker today,” she mumbled to herself, only to feel her
skin crawl as a husky voice whispered into her ear.
“I
wonder what could have my dearest sister all worked up? Heero rejected
you…again?”
“Why
don’t you go and die in a tub of molten lava?”
The
blond gave a light-hearted chuckle and moved away. He sat on the empty lounge
chair across from her with a rather smug look on his features. Relena eyed him
warily and continued to fan herself even faster.
“I
believe you still haven’t allowed it to sink into your brain, have you, sister
dear?” Milliardo continued lazily as he stretched out long legs with a small
yawn. He leaned back and closed his eyes, allowing the cool breeze that
suddenly drifted through to cool his skin. “Ah…heaven…”
“No,
this is hell and you are just being another one of the devil’s pawns,
Milliardo,” the girl bit back coldly. “I am sick and tired of you guys
flaunting your sexuality like…like it’s nothing! Don’t you have a little
decency left in you?”
The
blond raised a brow and promptly sat upright to pin a withering look of disdain
on his younger sister. “People don’t wake up one morning deciding to fall in
love with members of their own sex. Neither do they wake up with the knowledge
that they do like members of the same sex. Just as you keep claiming that you
love…”
“It’s
not a claim! I do love him!”
“Sure
you do,” came the snappy reply. “The same way you loved your dog. You think
that everyone is supposed to fall on his or her knees for you, Relena? Well,
grow the hell up! Heero is not some animal that you can dictate what you want
to him. He’s a guy, Relena. A human. Flesh and blood with everything
in-between. If you can’t see that, then what’s the point of having him?”
“You
should talk, you good-for-nothing…!”
“Hello,
children,” came the soft singsong voice as Hikari walked up the stairs and
towards them. She was now dressed in a blue sundress that showed off her
flawless skin to perfection. Taking off the large white hat that had graced her
head, she made herself comfortable on a seat and eyed the silent siblings with
a warm smile. “So, what were you two talking about? You both sounded extremely
animated.”
Relena
and Milliardo exchanged cold glances with one another before he spoke up with a
winning grin on his handsome visage. “It was nothing, Aunt Hikari. Relena and I
were just discussing a book she read.”
The
woman perked up with curiosity. “Oh really? And what book might this be?”
Relena
smiled sweetly. “Taking Care of Obnoxious Siblings for Dummies. It’s a well
known bestseller, Aunt Hikari.”
The
Japanese woman tried not to look too confused. “Oh…really…?”
“Then
perhaps I should recommend one by the name of ‘Annoying Little Sisters – A tale
of the air-headed girl’,” Milliardo retorted with an even sweeter smile that
did not reach his eyes.
Quick
to realize that this was yet another argument between the two, Hikari gave a
soft sigh and picked up the glass of lemonade a passing servant had placed on
the table for her. She tuned out their voices and stared blindly at the cool
liquid in the glass cup. Watching the clear droplets of water roll off the
sides and onto her skin, she mused on what had happened earlier today with her
husband. Walking around the house and ordering maids and servants around had
been the only way for her to let go of some of the frustration she had felt
inside. Odin was beginning to act in ways that had her thinking twice about her
marriage. There was one simple solution to this whole mess and that was to
simply walk into his office brandishing several papers for him to sign.
Most
of them would say ‘I hereby release you from your prison’, and hence they would
go their separate ways never to see each other again. It really was that
simple.
If
only she had the guts to do it.
She
groaned and took another sip of her drink. There had been plenty of times when
she had the feeling that Odin wasn’t and had never really been interested in
her as a person. Perhaps he had married her out of pity. After all, she had
lost the man she had truly loved to her older sister and Odin had appeared soon
after. He had heard the ‘devastating’ news and had taken the shy and raw
teenager under his wing. Hikari had found herself reveling in the boisterous
man’s behavior. He certainly did not act like a man who had grown up under the
strictest of Japanese households and Hikari had fallen in love with that. Odin
did not conform to rules too well and that rebellious streak had been another
plus in their relationship.
Things
had been happy, wonderful, amazing…until the day she had gotten ‘fat’. Hikari
sighed again and stared at the ice cubes that were now floating above the pink
liquid. She had gotten pregnant with Heero and once she begun to show, she had
noticed the changes in Odin’s behavior. His business trips had become more
frequent. His daily phone calls had been reduced to three times a week and even
at that, the calls themselves lasted no more than twenty minutes, as he always
had some other meeting to attend.
Like
a fool, she had clung on to hope. She had thought that he still had an interest
in her, but she was ‘fat’ now and Odin did not like ‘fat’ women. She grit her
teeth at the memory, her fingers tightening themselves around the cool glass.
The knowledge that she was unattractive to Odin had sent her into a depressive
state for weeks. Her health had suffered and Heero had nearly lost his life in
the process. She had even gone as far as wishing that the baby would die in the
hopes that she would regain the love and admiration of her husband. She placed
a hand to her flat torso, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. How could she have
ever thought of doing such a thing to her baby? Holding Heero’s squirming form
in her hands had sent her crying for hours on end. How could someone so
perfect, so tiny, so precious die? What had she been thinking?
And
so like a protective mother hen, Hikari had gone out of her way to make sure
that Heero would be raised by her and not by maids or nannies. She had seen to
all his feedings and diaper changes. She had insisted on hand picking any and
all of his clothes, but there had been one person who had ‘opposed’ her and
somehow taken over her role as mother during her few absences.
Yuzuki.
The
maid that Odin had insisted on staying with them had somehow taken over
Hikari’s role and that had troubled the woman to no end. There was just
something about that woman that had Hikari more than a little worried. She was
clearly beautiful and young, but it was her undying loyalty to Odin that
sickened her each and every time. There were times when she had sworn she had
noticed Yuzuki giving her husband loving looks.
A
movement to her right had her lifting her head quickly. A welcoming smile came
to her lips as she spotted the familiar blond locks of Heero’s childhood
friend.
“Quatre,
darling, why don’t you come over here and…”
The
words died on her lips as she noticed the preoccupied look on the boy’s face.
Even Milliardo and Relena had stopped their bickering long enough to notice how
pale the Arabian looked.
“Yu…Yuzuki…”
the boy began even though it felt like a ton of bricks were now lodged deep in
his throat. “She…she’s go…gone.” He turned to face Hikari, the tears now
spilling down his cheeks, as if hoping that she would know the answer to his
unspoken question.
Relena
gasped and slapped a hand over her mouth, her eyes widened in shock. “Oh, no!
She’s dead?”
Milliardo
rolled his eyes. “No, she’s not dead, Relena. She’s not on the grounds, correct
Quatre?” came the curt question as he stared intently at the sobbing blond.
Hikari
wasn’t sure of what to feel as she got to her feet to wrap her arms tightly
around the boy who had willingly fallen within her comforting embrace. Was that
relief or shock? Was it dismay or anger at the gall of the maid to just leave
without letting anyone know? She sighed and kissed the soft hair beneath her
gently.
“There,
there now, darling. It’s okay. I’m sure she just…had to take a break for a
while…”
Quatre
shook his head vehemently. “With all of her things? She cleared everything out,
Aunt Hikari!”
The
only thought in Hikari’s head at the moment, was that Yuzuki was a very fast
worker to be able to leave so quickly and with all her belongings. Had
she been planning this get-away for a while now? And why in Kami’s name was
this nagging feeling of Odin being behind this not leaving her mind? Something
muffled reached her ears and she felt a light struggle within her arms. It took
her a minute to register what was going on. And with a blush on her features,
she released the red-faced blond quickly.
“Oh,
I’m terribly sorry, Quatre. I had no idea…”
“It’s…it’s
okay, Mrs. Yuy,” came the gasping words as he tried to gulp in as much fresh
air as possible. Being squeezed against the older woman’s bosom was not
something he wanted to experience again.
A
tense silence fell as one question now hung over their heads like a storm
cloud. Milliardo tapped his fingers restlessly against the table, refusing to
say anything. Relena lowered her gaze to the ground and bit her lower lip in
thought. Quatre was the only one who stared at the silent woman, knowing full
well that it would be her final decision to make.
Somehow, despite all my efforts to be a good mother to him, she took over that role quite well. If he hears the news…it would kill him. I just know it will. Damn it, Odin! What did you do to her to make her leave?
But
she pinned a warm smile on her face, never betraying the dull anger within her
and speaking clearly and concisely, she made her decision.
“Heero
must never know about this…”
It
was his sanctuary. His haven away from the chaos of his daily life. A room that
he had converted into a place of solace and solitude. Designed with precision
and care, each paneling handcrafted by the finest carpenters in the land,
graced the walls of the den. Rich oak or mahogany made up bookshelves, the
large sofa, the chairs, his work desk and his private bar. Shelves were lined
with the rarest and most expensive books known to man. Glass cases held
priceless heirlooms and precious accumulations from his travels around the
world. There was a state of the art stereo system that was hidden behind one of
the many secret panels around the room. A door to the right led to a bathroom.
The next door housed a small dressing room filled with enough suits and
leisurewear for at least three months. The sofa in the main room could be
turned into a bed, hence there was no need for an extra bedroom.
Behind
the large mahogany desk, circa 1879, in a darkened room as the large blinds had
been drawn closed, sat Odin Yuy as still as death. He had been in this position
for almost a good half hour and it looked as if he had no plans to move. Dark
eyes that were usually sharp or shrewd had dulled considerably. His features
were pale; the only movement signaling that he was still alive was the slight
trembling of his fingers upon the table.
On
the table scattered amongst documents and paperwork sat a small picture of his
family- taken about five years ago on a trip to
The
light beep of the answering machine was heard again. And for the one-millionth
time in the space of a few minutes, he felt himself die a little more inside.
/…Mr.
Yuy…no, Odin. Please don’t answer or try to call me because I won’t pick up. I
just…I just have to say this now before…before I lose my nerve. I love you,
Odin. I have always loved you. I know I am nothing more than a maid to you and
have been under your servitude for so many years now. But to me…to me you were
more than just my master. You were my best friend, Odin. Do you remember how
you used to tease me? You used to call me ‘Little Foot’ because my feet were so
small. I can’t help smiling at how many times you used to come crying to me
about something your papa did to you. You used to think he didn’t love you,
remember? And you would always vow to show him someday. But Odin, he did love
you. He used to talk about you all the time to his friends at his parties. He
was so proud of you, but he didn’t know how to show it to you. But…but that
wasn’t what made me love you, Odin. It was your strength and…and your heart.
You were the nicest, kindest person I had ever known. Even though you tried to
act tough most of the time, it never ceased to amaze me how accommodating you
were to others. There were nights I would sit outside your door and listen to
you cry in your room. I wished I could go in to hold you, but they wouldn’t let
me. Oh, Odin…my heart wept for you and I knew then that I would walk to the
ends of the earth to make you happy.” There was a light sniffle, but then
again, the woman had been crying through it all. “I watched you bring all those
women back home with you and how shameless a flirt you were. I would always
watch from the wings as you danced with them when parties were thrown at the
house. You always looked so handsome in your tuxedo and they all fawned and
begged to be your companions. But at the end of the evening, on the days you
didn’t end up taking them somewhere, you would sit outside in the garden on
your own to think. I loved watching you then. You weren’t as loud or as noisy
and it showed me a different side to you. I knew you and I could never have a
relationship, but I prayed that you would find the right woman to make you
happy. Someone who could see the real you like I did.” She paused to take a
deep breath. “I didn’t think you would want to marry Hikari. I know she is
beautiful and she was in a lot of pain back then…but why did you really choose
her, Odin? I could never understand that. She is a nice woman and I cannot
blame you for falling for her charms, but I do not like her, Odin. I still feel
that she is not the right person for you and I do not say this out of jealousy.
But, she gave you Heero – the most wonderful, precious gift she could ever
give. Heero is my son too, Odin. I wanted to love him and take care of him like
a real mother would and I think I did that quite well. I wished that he was my
own son and for a while…I am ashamed to say this…I made him call me mother when
we were alone. Please forgive me, Odin. I just couldn’t see Hikari as a good
mother to him. I just…I just…love him and want him to be happy. That man…that
teacher…please let him remain in the house. Whatever happens, Odin, make him
stay. Heero needs him more than you or he could ever know. Your son, your boy,
your flesh and blood isn’t quite what he seems, Odin. Promise me that you will
still love him no matter what he tells you. You owe me that much.” Her voice
broke again. “I am leaving as you have requested. I will only do so because I
do not wish to see your life ruined because of that girl. I have listened to
your story and I will believe it because of my faith in you. But no matter what
you do, Odin…no matter what happens to me from here on out, I just want you to
know that my heart which has always belonged to you…will continue to belong to
you always. I love you, Odin. I love you…/
The
dull click of the machine cut through the thick silence that fell after her
final words and with a low whirring sound, it began to replay the message all
over again.
The
silent man failed to hear the sound of the door opening or the figure that now
stood within the room.
Trowa
leaned against the door to Heero’s room, having left minutes earlier to give
the couple their much-needed privacy. Heero had not woken up yet, but he had
made no attempts to release the teacher’s hand either. He stuck his hands into
the pockets of his pants and closed his eyes. He suddenly wished he could have
a cigarette as that seemed to be the perfect thing to ease his mind right now.
But he didn’t smoke.
Bummer.
Light
footsteps had him opening up his eyes quickly. Quatre was making his way
towards him, but the familiar figure of the maid was nowhere in the vicinity.
He was about to open up his mouth to ask, when he noticed the rather pale look
on his lover’s face. He pushed himself away from the door and enveloped the
slender boy within his arms. His mind raced with a million and one possible
scenarios and reasons for Yuzuki’s absence.
Quatre
returned the embrace just as strongly. No tears fell this time as he felt an
emptiness settle in his heart. He had just about cried out his sadness and his
partner’s welcoming arms were just what he needed at this point. And with his
head resting gently upon Trowa’s shoulder, he told the boy everything.
The
Barton heir stiffened in response to the softly spoken words, his eyes widening
in disbelief. When the blond was done speaking, Trowa pulled back to stare into
the dull depths before him.
“You…you
aren’t making this up, are you?”
Quatre
shook his head with a soft sigh. He glanced towards Heero’s room. “How’s he
holding up?”
“Duo’s
with him. I think his presence there is calming Heero down somewhat.”
They
remained silent for a while.
“Should
we tell Duo?” Trowa asked quietly.
Quatre
shrugged with a weary sigh. “I don’t care anymore. I think we’ve caused enough
damage for one day, don’t you think?”
Trowa
eyed his partner for a moment before giving a curt nod. “I’m going to tell
him.” He made a move towards the door, but Quatre’s hand on his arm stalled his
steps.
“What
do you think you are doing?” the blond hissed out in faint anger. “It’s all thanks to you that Heero is in this
state and now you want to make it worse by telling Duo? What if Heero wakes up
and hears you!”
“Don’t
yell at me just because I want to try to make things right, Quatre!” Trowa
whispered back angrily. “Yes, it is all my fault for mentioning such a thing to
Heero, but what if Duo can help us? What if he’s the only one that can get
Yuzuki back, did you think about that, huh?”
The
Arabian looked disgruntled and he mumbled something beneath his breath before
releasing Trowa reluctantly. He stiffened as he heard a door being closed a few
feet away from them and he groaned inwardly. It was obvious that Keiko had been
listening to everything they had said so far. Not that he cared either way. He
really didn’t have any concrete feelings towards Heero’s cousin. She had been a
bully every once in a while, but Quatre had learned to ignore her over the
years. To him, she was just another unwanted person in his best friend’s life.
“Fine…”
he finally mumbled as he watched Trowa led the way into the rather cozy
bedroom.
Heero
was still fast asleep as seen from the steady rise and fall of his chest, while
Duo remained seated, browsing through the boy’s sketchbook. At the entrance of
his visitors, he dropped the book and got to his feet with a sheepish look on
his features.
“I
couldn’t leave him,” he explained quickly as if hoping that the teens would not
reprimand him for staying behind.
Somehow,
Duo’s embarrassed look brought a smile to Quatre’s lips and he shook his head
lightly as if wondering just how a man like Duo, who could act so innocent and
clueless at times, have such a violent streak within him.
“It’s
okay,” Trowa reassured him quickly as he walked a bit closer to the bed. He
leaned over Heero and stared at the relaxed appearance of his friend. He waved
his hand over the boy’s face rapidly, and seeing no tell-tale movement behind
closed lids, he straightened up with a satisfied look on his face. “He’s still
asleep,” he announced to his bemused audience before focusing his attention on
the older man. Making sure that he kept his voice as low as possible, Trowa
recounted all that Quatre had told him, with the blond adding a few things here
and there.
Duo
listened with mixed feelings of disbelief and confusion. The same Yuzuki that
had been nice enough to offer him some tea and cookies earlier in the day had
suddenly…gone? What in the hell was going on in this house?
He
sat down heavily on the chair, staring blindly at a drawing of a bowl of fruit
in Heero’s sketch pad. He could only imagine the boy’s reaction once he woke
up. Rubbing a hand across his forehead, he winced inwardly. Could things
possibly get any worse for Heero…for them?
“We
won’t tell him…for now,” he finally said with a slow nod. “Does Hikari know?”
Quatre
nodded. “Yes, I told her and she said she was going to talk to Odin about it.
She hopes they can find her in time and bring her back home.”
The
teacher gave a small sigh of relief, eyes straying towards the immobile figure
on the bed. Fingers reached out to brush away a few brown-colored strands from
his forehead. Amethyst depths seemed to melt with warmth as they traced the
outline of the handsome visage.
Quatre
and Trowa remained standing, neither unable to say anything as they watched the
intimate exchange. They suddenly felt like intruders and both flushed lightly
as they noticed the darkened look of emotion that had come into the older man’s
eyes.
Try
as hard as he might to deny his feelings for the teenager, there was no doubt
that Duo Maxwell had lost his heart to the Japanese boy and fortunately, the
two friends were there to witness it for themselves.
However…the
unspoken question hung heavily in the air amongst them and neither boy wanted
to be the first to ask. Duo sensed it and gave an inward sigh. Now that they
knew about his sordid past, he would have to explain things to them as best he
could.
He
didn’t turn his face to look at them as he asked quietly. “You want to know
what happened and why I did it, don’t you?”
They
nodded.
Duo
gave a louder sigh and rose to his feet. He walked towards the window and stood
beside it, staring down at the distant rooftops of the guesthouses. His home
looked so far away from there.
For
a long moment, he didn’t say anything as he felt the familiar bile of disgust
and anguish rise in his throat. He had been forced to recount this tale to the
police years ago – been forced to tell the oh so wonderful head shrink about
this as well. And now, he would have to tell these boys his reason for doing
something that he really didn’t want to rehash again. But they had a right to
know and if they could tell Heero the real reason for his actions, then perhaps
he would be forgiven.
He
wiped his mouth with a hand, feeling the nervousness take hold of him as they
shook gently. He tried to smile at them, but it came out rather weakly and
taking a deep breath, Duo Maxwell took them back to that summer’s night
of his sixteenth year.
The
boy on the bed, slowly, opened his eyes and listened…