Your heart is not open, so I must go,

The spell has been broken. I loved you so…

Freedom comes when you learn to let go…

There’s nothing left to loose

There’s no more heart to bruise

There’s no greater power than the power of goodbye…

- Madonna (Power of Goodbye)

Warning: Lemon

Rating: NC-17

Twenty-Three:

The drizzling rain didn’t seem to be letting up as Duo continued to drive as carefully as he could through the rather lonesome looking streets. The first signs of Christmas were already making themselves known but rather than being greeted with the familiar signs of snow or ice – the city had been regaled with thunderstorms and rain showers for the past week.

The gray skies and darkened shadows betrayed the fact that it was only five in the evening and it only did more to make the day seem even gloomier than necessary. The teacher gave a soft sigh, eyes sliding towards the cream-colored folder that sat on the passenger seat. The words ‘Resume’ – scribbled hastily in black ink - blared angrily at him and he felt his throat go dry in dismay. The thought of going back to that Unemployment Office to face Sandra again was something he was not looking forward to. He would be asked a million and one questions. How had he messed up such a perfectly good opportunity? What could Duo have possibly done to warrant such treatment towards him? He could already envision the plump lady’s reaction to his presence there. Pure disappointment.

You don’t know the half of it, Sandy, he thought bitterly as the looming building of the hospital came into view. His hands tightened around the steering wheel for a heart-stopping minute, his knuckles turning white as they clutched it even harder. His heart was beating so much faster than before and for a second, Duo was sure he would end up having to be checked in himself for heart failure.

/The role of a teacher is to be a guide, Duo. You can never live the student’s life for him or her, but can only hope and dream and lead them down the right path. That is why they look up to us. /

Guide, huh? He parked the car in an empty slot and killed the engine with a quick and nervous tug of his keys. He licked his dry lips and suddenly wished he had picked up smoking or drinking…or both. Since his impromptu meeting with Wufei and the boys, it had taken him an entire week to work up the nerve to come down to this place. He knew he was acting too damn cowardly, as Quatre had been so kind enough to point out to him, but Duo couldn’t help it. Deep down inside, he figured he had always been this way. Rather than face the truth, he was prompt to ignore it by acting out his frustrations – also known as being violent, or running away from it – in the case of not being with David at the very end.

Run, run, running away. Never could look the truth in the face, could you, Duo my boy?

He struggled to silence that taunting voice as he finally stepped out of the car. He wasn’t sure of whom that voice belonged to. It seemed to be a combination of David’s voice and Griffith’s all together. He shivered and hugged the light brown trench coat around his body, cursing inwardly at forgetting to bring an umbrella. Lowering his head, he jogged into the building and found himself bumping into a rather voluptuous looking nurse in the front lobby.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” he apologized quickly as he held out his hands to steady her. Her white uniform, impossibly tight across her chest and hip area had Duo wondering just how she could have gotten away with wearing such a thing. He finally lifted his gaze to meet the surprised brown one of the young woman. Her cheeks were flushed a bright pink at the proximity of the handsome man. Noticing the rather sad look behind those apologetic violet depths caused a small warm smile to come to her lips.

“It’s alright. I should have been watching my step,” she said in a girlish voice. “May I help you with something?”

Duo gave a responding smile of gratitude as he ran fingers through his now damp locks. It felt as if his braid now weighed a ton across his left shoulder, but he had a nagging thought that it was his growing worries that made it seem that way. He eyed the nearly empty hallway, his senses assailed with the sharp, clinical smells of medicine and illness. There was also an underlying scent of death, but the illusion of whitewashed walls and pretty nurses with charming smiles seemed to push that dark and unwanted notion away.

“Actually, you can,” the teacher replied. “Which way is it to your recovery unit or ward or section or wing…?”

The woman giggled and pointed towards the elevators. “Fifth floor, but if you’re looking for anyone in particular, I am more than willing to help you out.” She batted her lashes and twirled a strand of her long red hair. All that was missing from the picture was the sound of smacking bubble-gum and Duo could have sworn a whore was charming him.

Sorry, sweet cheeks. Not today.

“Thank you, but I can take it from here.” He gave her another reassuring smile before striding quickly towards the elevators. The doors opened to reveal an orderly with a tray full of syringes and medicine. Duo winced inwardly at the sight, hardly realizing he had given a small smile in response to the one thrown at him from the young man.

And that was another thing too. Hospitals almost always made him nauseous.

Punching the number to the designated floor, he closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, trying to go over the mini-speech he had prepared just for Heero. He would begin by finding out how the boy was doing and then…then try to explain his actions as best as he could. Things would be so much better if they could just part and go their separate ways. There really was no need for him to hang around Heero anymore. All he had done was confuse the boy, who still thought he might be in love with a person like him. He groaned weakly and stuck his hands deeper into the pockets of his coat, trying hard to fight down the creeping emptiness that was threatening to consume him completely.

He just hoped that Heero would understand.

The doors finally opened and he stepped out, his slightly worried gaze scanning the rather nice looking corridor. Unlike the main lobby with its clinical air, this section was decorated in warm hues of brown and cream. Rows of flowers lined up the long corridor that seemed to lead on forever. Also, and much to his pleasure, the nauseating smell of chemicals and drugs were not as potent. But such a thing was to be expected after all, Duo thought ruefully as he eyed the gold plate that hung against a wall on the opposite side.

The Yuy Family Wing.

Go figure.

He made his way to the reception desk, lips parted and ready to ask the busy-looking nurse behind the counter for Heero’s room number, when a familiar voice had him doing a double take.

“Mr. Maxwell?”

Oh, crap. Not her!

“Hello, Mrs. Yuy,” Duo managed to blurt out with a warm smile on his features. He was unaware of the way his hands had begun to clench and unclench within the pockets of his coat, or the way his lips suddenly felt even drier than before. After all, he had basically run out on the family without so much as a word of goodbye…at least for now.

Hikari looked resplendent in a simple black and white suit. Her raven locks, still pulled back in its usual tight ponytail, accentuated already striking features. She was holding onto a small black traveling bag as she closed the door behind her to walk towards the teacher with a surprised look on her face.

“My…goodness. Where have you been all this time, Duo?” she asked quickly as she leaned up to accept the soft kiss of greeting from the man upon her cheek. She pulled back to openly gawk at him, dark blue eyes roaming over his rather lean form in genuine curiosity and dull worry. “You look…terrible.”

Duo had the grace to blush at the comment, knowing full well what she meant. He hadn’t been eating much for the past few weeks and he really could do with something healthy besides fast food and beer. “Thank you, Mrs. Yuy,” he replied with a sheepish grin. “I was going to come back to let you know…”

“I am no longer Mrs. Yuy,” Hikari interrupted softly but firmly. “You can call me Hikari or better yet, Miss Seiji.” She blushed a little. “That is my maiden name.”

Duo tried hard not to look as surprised as he felt. “Miss. Seiji,” he began carefully. “That’s…that’s very nice…”

“No, it’s not,” Hikari said around a light laugh. “It’s alright to be shocked or surprised, Duo. Yes, Odin and I are no longer married…at least we won’t be come Monday and I think things are much better this way.” She gave a small sigh and shifted the bag within her hands. “We are both happy now and we can only progress emotionally from this point, don’t you think?”

Duo wasn’t sure of what to think, but he guessed that agreeing with the woman was in order and so he gave a soft nod in response. Now, if he could only find out about Heero…

“I mean, it’s not as if things would have worked out between us if we had continued to act like we loved each other,” Hikari continued in rather rushed tones, leaving Duo to wonder if the woman didn’t still harbor feelings for her estranged husband. “And besides, Heero is fine with this. He has taken this all very well…”

“Heero…”

Hikari stopped long enough to stare at Duo as if seeing him for the first time. “Heero?” she asked in a slightly bewildered tone before she shook her head lightly. “Silly me. Of course you must have come to see Heero and not to listen to my story.” She paused and stared a bit harder at the teacher, causing Duo to shift restlessly, getting a bit uncomfortable under the intense scrutiny.

“You must have some kind of power over him,” she finally said softly. Now, Duo did stare at the woman as if she had suddenly sprouted another head. What in the world…?

“All he could do was ask about you every chance he got.” The woman gave a small, almost wistful smile. “I admit I did feel a bit jealous that my son had been taken in by a relative stranger, but I think I can see why.”

The teacher had the grace to blush in growing embarrassment. This was getting way too uncomfortable. “Miss. Seiji…”

She silenced him with a finger against his lips, her smile growing fonder. “Jealous, yes, but proud as well. I am not saying that Odin wasn’t a good father to him, but you are the only adult male figure he has ever looked up to, Duo. And for that, I am extremely grateful for how much you have opened his eyes and made him so much more approachable. There is something in his eyes now – a determination that I have never seen him exhibit before.”

She removed her finger and continued quietly. “The doctors said that the gunshot to his shoulder might have him immobile for a while. They said the nerves had been badly damaged and that it somehow had affected his legs as well.” She gave a light shrug. “We were more than prepared to let him remain in here for as long as it took and we were told it might take a month or more. But do you want to know what happened, Duo?” Her dark blue eyes seemed to glow with warmth. “He forced himself to walk again. He almost killed himself, but he wasn’t going to give up that easily. No matter how much we begged him to stop, he wouldn’t listen to us. He never did tell us why he was suddenly so adamant to walk again, but one night I discovered the answer.”

Duo forgot how to breathe.

“It was because of you, Duo,” she finished with a firm nod. “I was by his bedside and he began to mumble in his sleep. He kept saying he was going to walk for you, Duo, even if it took him the rest of his life.” She took a deep breath. “And he said something else that had me rethinking a few things.”

Oh, no. He…he didn’t…

But Duo had a feeling that his worst fears were about to happen and his lips were already parting to make some sort of apology or to explain some things.

“He loves you, Duo,” Hikari said in a voice that held no malice, dismay or disgust. “He said that over and over in his sleep and wondered why you didn’t feel the same way about him.”

“You…you knew…” the teacher managed to croak out weakly.

Hikari shook her head. “No, I didn’t know. I don’t know all the secrets my son has, Duo. So you can imagine how shocked and surprised I was when I realized he didn’t just have a brotherly love for you. We had quite an enlightening discussion the next morning.”

Duo ran fingers through his almost dry locks with a low groan of pain. “I…I’m sorry, Miss. Seiji…”

“What are you sorry for?” she asked in genuine bemusement. “Do you not feel the same way for my son?” There was an edge to the question that had the man deciding to choose his words carefully.

“It’s not…it’s not as if I don’t have any feelings for him, Miss. Seiji. It’s just that…”

“You ran away because you couldn’t handle it, Duo?” Hikari interrupted with a wan smile. “It’s easy to run away from our problems instead of facing them, isn’t it?”

“No, I…”

“You must love him, Duo,” Hikari cut in again in a much firmer voice. “I know I have no right to force you to do this, but my son needs you more than either I or his father. We have done our best for him and now the rest is up to you.” She walked up to him and placed a hand against his thudding chest. “Feel that? It’s the heartbeat of one who cares for another. You wouldn’t have come this far if you didn’t give a damn about him, would you?”

“Miss. Seiji…”

She shook her head and smiled again. “I wish you both the best of luck. Although…I won’t stand here and tell you that your…eh…relationship isn’t sitting all too well with me.”

Duo blinked in bemusement and she laughed softly. “I am going to have to learn to accept it.” She shrugged lightly. “It’s the only way we can all grow as human beings.”

“So anyway…what are you doing here at the hospital?” she asked as she began to walk towards the elevator.

Duo, who was still trying to recover from all he had just learned, raised a brow in surprise at the seemingly dumb question. “I came to see Heero,” he replied quickly. “He is awake, isn’t he?”

Hikari eyed him to make sure he wasn’t trying to be funny. “Heero isn’t here anymore, Duo. I thought I had mentioned that earlier. I just dropped by to pick up a few things he had left behind.”

Actually you didn’t, Duo thought wildly as his mind began to race a mile-a-minute.

“He insisted on being let out three days ago.” She held up the bag while punching the buttons of the elevator. “He still limps a little…trying to get used to his legs again, but otherwise, he’s fine. I am sure he would love to still see you, Duo. Would you like his new address? Duo? Duo?!”

But she was talking to thin air as the teacher had already decided to use the stairs to make his way out of the building as fast as he could. He practically leapt down the staircases, heart pounding with exertion and with the dawning knowledge of how much of a fool he had been. Quatre, Trowa and Wufei had been right. Hell! Even Hikari had been right.

“Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!”

He had indeed been a complete and total coward. How could he have allowed his insecurities and fear to blind him so much? Hadn’t he told the boy that he was in love with him as well? Hadn’t he made a vow to protect Heero as much as he could and not have to go through the emotional turmoil he had gone through himself as a teen?

I have taught him all I know and yet I know nothing myself.

His car couldn’t move fast enough as he began the hasty (but still being careful as the rain had begun to fall a bit harder) drive towards the Yuy Estate. Heero had to be home. There was no other place he could have gone to and besides, Hikari had said that, hadn’t she? The high steel gates loomed like the gates of Hell (or Heaven, depending on how things turned out) as he approached slowly.

Hoping they hadn’t changed his security numbers, he punched them into the keypad, fingers tapping restlessly against the steering wheel as he waited for the intricate security system to acknowledge his presence. After what seemed like eons to the frustrated teacher, Duo stuck his head out of the window and yelled out in desperation.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. It’s me! Duo fucking Maxwell! Surely you remember who I am?!”

That seemed to do the trick as the gates began its slow – tremendously slow - grind in opening up. But Duo had had enough and with a low growl of impatience, he stepped out of the car completely ignoring the heavy raindrops that plastered his hair and clothes to his body like a second skin. Dashing through the gates, he began the long run towards the huge mansion that had been a place of many experiences that were to last a lifetime. He stepped over puddles nimbly, now completely drenched from head to toe as the rain continued to pour down in torrents. All that filled his mind were frantic thoughts of Heero and how he would beg his forgiveness. He didn’t expect to be forgiven in return, but it was a first step…for them.

He was about to pound on the door to the front hall, when it was opened up quickly, nearly sending him toppling to the cool marble floor in surprise.

“Welcome back, Mr. Maxwell,” Hanada greeted calmly as he gave a light bow. “Perhaps a change of clothes is in order, sir?”

“Thanks, but no thanks. No time to waste.” Duo ran up the large, grandeur stairs, two at a time, ignoring the older man who was now trying to get his attention. He left a trail of water behind him on the plush carpet as he ran down the hallway till he came to a halt in front of Heero’s door. Suddenly all his bravado seemed to vanish into thin air as he stared at the solid oak door. He held up his hand to knock, but took it down again. He paced about for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and just as he was about to reach for the doorknob, Hanada’s voice halted his movements.

“Master Heero is not here, Mr. Maxwell.”

The teacher spun around quickly with a puzzled frown. “He’s…He’s not here? I thought he had just come back from the hospital? His mother said he wasn’t in there anymore.”

Or had Hikari just made that up?

“It is true that Master Heero has returned to the house, Mr. Maxwell,” the butler continued in that same polite tone. “But things have been moving quite fast lately.”

Duo remained silent while waiting for the older man to explain himself.

“Master Heero is going to be moving to his very own apartment in the city,” came the calm statement. “He has been organizing for his departure since he arrived here.”

“Wha…what?”

Hanada gave a small nod and a smile that looked a bit sad. “Miss Asawa, Miss Relena, Masters Quatre, Trowa and even Master Milliardo have been helping him, Mr. Maxwell.”

Duo struggled hard against the sharp searing ache that raced through his heart. He felt his knees go weak as he sagged limply against the door. He had been procrastinating. All this time he could have gone to look for Heero or to find out how he was doing, but he had put it off due to his stupid fears.

Finally, in a voice that sounded too weary to the butler, Duo asked softly. “Where…what is the address? Please, I must speak to him tonight.”

Hanada, as if expecting such a question, reached into his breast pocket for a small white business card. “These are the Royal Apartments in Midtown, Mr. Maxwell. The number at the bottom of the card is the one that will give you access to Master Heero’s penthouse. I am sure he would love to see you again, sir.”

The teacher gave a weak nod and reached for the card, staring blindly at the neatly typed words. The Royal Apartments (easily one of the most recognizable and most expensive piece of real estate there was) weren’t too far from here. At least half an hour’s drive was all it would take to get him there.

“Thank you,” he mumbled softly as he began to make his way down the stairs. He sneezed and shivered uncontrollably, knowing he was bound to get a cold at this rate. But that was the least of his worries. He would drive all the way to the Apartments and get Heero to speak to him even if it meant suffering through the flu.

By the time he made it back to his car, Duo found himself slumping behind the steering wheel, his entire body trembling now from a chill that had seeped its way into his very bones. His vision grew blurry as he fumbled for his keys. He had not eaten much as Hikari had pointed out earlier and running through the rain hadn’t helped his cause either. He sneezed again and stretched out a shaking hand towards his briefcase. He usually kept a packet of aspirin in the side pocket. If he could only reach it in time…

“Fuck…” The briefcase fell with a low thump, as his hand was barely able to hold on to it. All of its contents spilled onto the floor, causing the teacher to groan even more in dismay. It was going to be a bitch to pick the entire thing up.

“Got to…up…” His head was spinning…no; the world was spinning much to fast. He felt hot, then cold and then hot again as his vision practically became non-existent.

“Heero…” he croaked out weakly as he finally gave in to his weariness and slumped over the wheel. He wasn’t sure he would be able to make it to the penthouse after all.

What a pity. He sure would have loved to see Heero’s new digs.

/Hmmm…may I just say one thing, Duo? /

/And what’s that, David? /

/I think you officially suck at being a teacher. /

/Man, that’s rich coming from you. /

/I am serious, kiddo…/

/Hey, I am twenty-one, now. Twen-ty-one. Don’t call me ‘kiddo’ anymore. /

/Oh, yeah, sorry about that…grown-up. So what now? /

/What do you mean? /

/You don’t think you’re going to leave that boy all by himself, do you? /

/Why would he need someone like me? /

/You going through this pity stage again? /

/It’s not a pity stage. I’m just…worried that’s all. /

/You worry too much, Duo. /

/Can’t help it. I learned from the master. /

/Heh, at least you learned something. /

/Yeah…I did…/

/Duo? /

/Yeah…/

/I’m proud of you. /

/…knock it off. You trying to get me all mushy here? /

/No, I really am. You did good, kiddo. You turned out all right in the end. /

/If you say so…./

/You’ve got a student waiting for you, you know./

/I’m scared, David./

/We all get scared, Duo. It’s just up to us to make the best of it. You have your chance now, use it wisely./

/Man, this whole scene sucks./

/Heh…at least they didn’t make you wear white./

/Yeah. I guess so. Listen man…if I ever need…/

/You won’t be needing me anymore, Duo. My lesson is done. Yours is just beginning…/

/Maybe…maybe…/

He opened his eyes and stared blankly at the familiar but yet not so familiar baroque style ceiling above him. He felt warm – incredibly warm. And feeling his…naked?…skin against cozy cotton sheets had him moaning softly in delight. He knew he couldn’t be in heaven because a rather delectable smell of pasta was drifting through the bedroom door. Well, not unless God had a thing for Italian food.

Wait a second! The bedroom door!

He sat upright and suddenly wished he hadn’t as a searing pain raced across his forehead causing him to fall back amongst the pillows with a low groan.

Fuck. How did I get back here?

“You collapsed in your car and I had to have the servants bring you here.”

Duo turned his head towards the voice so fast, he was sure he had given himself whiplash in the process. Standing within the doorway was the very boy he had been searching for all evening. Heero was dressed in a simple pale blue dress shirt that had its two top buttons undone. The black jeans he had on were a bit loose and hung off his lean hips rather temptingly. Even though he looked slightly pale, there was still a dull flush of color on the exotic dark skin of the teenager. Dark eyes of cobalt were pinned on him with an intensity that had Duo feeling incredibly hot and a bit…shy. Grateful that his hair had been unraveled, and for it being almost dry, Duo could hide his hungry look of need from the teen’s gaze as he struggled to say something…anything to ease the thick silence that had fallen between them.

Where the hell do I even begin?

A small gasp of surprise and shock ran through his body as he suddenly felt Heero’s cool hand against his forehead. He gaped openly at the boy, noticing that those full lips were curved into a small but tentative smile.

Sweet Kami, to kiss them again…

“You still feel a bit hot,” Heero mumbled softly, unaware of how much his warm breath tickling the older man’s skin was affecting Duo. “But then again that should be expected. I don’t know what possessed you to run out in the rain.” He straightened up. “I will go and check on the soup I’m warming up for you. That should help ease the cold a little bit…”

Heero knew he was rambling a little, but he couldn’t help it. Even though he was doing a fine job of acting calm and collected about the entire situation, he was a trembling mass of nerves inside. Never in a million years did he think he would be able to finally have Duo all to himself like this. His original intent had been to go straight to Duo’s apartment once he was out of the hospital, but to his surprise a last minute visitor had stopped by to give him a few words of advice.

Wufei had looked downright uncomfortable in the hospital room, but he had to say his piece and Heero had been more than willing to listen.

“Give him some time to come to you, Heero. You know he will,” the Chinese man said with a warm smile. “I know he’s a complete fool for not coming to you after all this time, but just…let him do it on his own terms, okay?”

Heero hadn’t really liked the idea, but he wasn’t one to argue such a point. After all, Wufei had known Duo a lot longer than he had. The waiting was pure agony. Days and nights of staring at the phone, hoping it would ring or wondering if Duo would walk through the door and confess his undying love to him (not in this lifetime, but one could dream, right?), had Heero becoming extremely restless. His decision to move out of his parent’s home had stemmed from this and in less than a day, he had acquired the exclusive penthouse suite in the building he had always dreamed of living in since he was a child.

Quatre, Trowa, Keiko and even Relena had been more than helpful in helping him settle in. He had most of his furniture in place, although he had been thinking of redecorating the small room beside his bedroom and using it as an office of sorts.

He had needed some more personal belongings from his home, which was the only reason he had been there tonight. He had taken to sleeping in his new apartment more from exhaustion than anything else, but tonight…something had been different. He had wanted to go home for more reasons than one.

The first call had come from his mother, who had told him that Duo was possibly on his way to the house to look for him. Heero could still remember how nervous and stunned he had been at the news. The cell phone had almost dropped from his hand, his heart pounding harder and faster at the thought of meeting the teacher again after almost a month of being apart. He had a feeling that somewhere in all of this, he was supposed to be upset or feel resentment for the older man. Duo had practically abandoned him in his time of need. But it only went a long way to show that the man was no saint. Duo had never made any apologies for being who he was. He was human. He had his faults. He was as strong in perseverance as he was weak in facing his fears. Just as he laughed and gave good cheer to others, he was also capable of causing pain and suffering to those he loved most.

I will try for both of us, Duo, he thought with a firm nod. I will try even if it takes my whole life.

However, the sudden shock of seeing the teacher’s car parked a few yards away from the entrance to the estate had nearly been the teen’s undoing. His first thought was that perhaps Duo had finally decided to kill himself after all, but a quick check of his slow pulse and low but harsh breathing had Heero calling for help immediately.

Duo’s guest home had been the only logical choice and – a bit ashamed to admit this – Heero had remained by Duo’s side like a mother hen. He undressed and wiped the shivering man from head to toe carefully, ignoring the dull ache in his left leg. His limp was becoming a bit more pronounced and as the evening wore on, it was becoming increasingly hard to keep up with his frantic activities.

What was more important…he didn’t want Duo to notice it.

And now staring into those violet depths that meant so much to him had Heero blushing and trying to get away from the pure sexual magnetism that radiated off the older man. He was no saint himself and being deprived from really touching Duo in such a long time was enough to make Heero’s body respond in ways that could be seen as quite…inappropriate.

“I…” He cleared his throat and tried again. “I’ll just go to the kitchen now…”

He spun around and tried to make his way out of the room, when Duo’s low voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Why?”

Heero’s hands tightened into fists at his side, eyes downcast with pain at the frank question.

“Don’t you know?” he asked quietly. Didn’t Duo know even now?!

The teacher lowered his gaze to his hands, watching them tremble as he struggled to make sense of what was happening to him…to them.

“Make me understand, Heero,” he begged softly. “Make me understand why you would want to be with me.” He lifted his head to stare at the teen’s back, watching in fascination at the steady rise and fall of his heaving body. It seemed as if Heero was holding himself in check for something. Duo wasn’t really sure of what it was.

“Heero…”

“Why did you leave me, Duo?” came the quiet question that seemed to hold so much back in check. “What happened on that night to make you leave me like that?”

The tutor dug his fingernails into the palm of his hands, ignoring the dull pain that flared at the punishing act. He opened up his mouth to say something, but all that managed to come out was a breathless whoosh of air. He licked his dry lips and tried again, hoping that his words would make more sense to the teenager and that perhaps he could make him see.

“I was frightened, Heero,” he finally mumbled, feeling a bit ashamed at admitting such a thing. He stole a glance towards the boy to see his reaction, but Heero had not turned to look at him or even made a move to acknowledge that Duo had said anything. The American sighed softly and continued in a more steady voice.

“I never said I was a superhero, Heero. I didn’t take this job to rescue anyone from death or near death experiences. Fuck! I’m no saint, you know that.”

The boy kept silent…although there was a slight clench of his fist.

“I have lived a life of bitterness and self-pity, Heero,” Duo said with a weak smile. “I am scarred, emotionally and physically…more emotionally, I guess. I was once called a curse by Griffith and I think that somewhere deep down, I have always seen myself as that. The people…” He swallowed tightly and tried to ignore the burning sting of unshed tears behind his eyes. “The people I truly loved, Heero…they all die because of me. Why? Why do they have to do that? Why does God always feel he has to punish me by getting rid of the good people in my life, huh?”

He took a deep breath and struggled to keep his rising voice on even keel again. He, barely noticed the teen’s trembling body before him.

“My parents…I never knew who they were. But I kind of guessed that they must have loved me in some way to have had me in the first place, right?” He gave a bitter laugh. “Although, I have had to listen to days when Griffith would tell me that they kept cursing the day I had been brought into this world. Go figure, huh?” He wiped a hand across his mouth and continued quickly, trying hard to slay the demons of the past that threatened to raise their ugly heads again. “I think I was in love with Leftie. Maybe in not a romantic way, but I still loved him all the same. He died, Heero. Griffith made sure of that.” He lowered his voice. “You know all about David. I don’t think we need to go into that…but the point of the matter is that…I am a coward, Heero. Yes, I am nothing but a big coward who can’t face any problem that comes my way…”

“How can you say that, Duo?” Heero croaked out weakly. “Why do you keep saying that?”

“Because it’s the truth. You know it as well as I. David tried to tell me that, but I wouldn’t listen. I was always quick to anger, to lash out, to fight when I felt things were spiraling away from me. With Griffith and David gone, what was left to do? I had nothing, Heero. I had nothing to look forward to, nothing to fight or to live for again…”

“But Wufei came in and helped you, didn’t he?”

Heero’s question had Duo lowering his head again in mild shame and sorrow. “Yes…he slapped me awake a few times and made me see that things weren’t always that bleak, Heero. But I had gone in too deep. I had lost all sense of the fight I once had within me…or at least I thought I had.” He stared at his hands again, remembering the murderous rage he had felt at Keiko’s actions to him. No, he hadn’t lost all of that just yet.

“I cannot be the right man for you, Heero,” he said quietly, even though he felt the ache within his chest tighten with each word he uttered out. He was about to drill the holes into the coffin. To shut the door completely. To explain to Heero that things could never really work out between them no matter how much they felt for each other.

“I am volatile and no longer as strong as I used to be…”

Heero rasped out harshly. “Stop saying things like you are an old man, Duo. You seem to forget that you are just twenty-one.”

“But I have lived many lives, Heero,” he replied softly. “Maybe in dog years I am twenty one but in human years, I am over a hundred.”

It was a weak attempt at humor, but Duo was beginning to get a little restless and a bit worried at the lack of more fevered responses from the younger man. Wasn’t Heero in the slightest bit angry with him? Duo was sure he was, but the Japanese boy was just better at masking it. It was quite an admirable quality when one looked at it.

Heero closed his eyes and took a deep breath before saying softly. “I used to have dreams of a boy who would always please me and make me happy. He had long hair of chestnut that seemed to flow all the way to the ground. He was always ready and willing to do my bidding. He never asked questions that made me uncomfortable. He never made me feel awkward or shy about my sexuality.” There was an almost wistful tone in Heero’s voice and, rather ridiculously, Duo felt himself get jealous over a dream. “When I saw you sitting on the dining table on that day, Duo, I felt as if my world had stopped spinning. It was you, Duo. My dream had come to life.” He opened his eyes and quirked his lips. “You had finally come to me. After all those nights of frustrated pleasures and decadence, you finally came to me. Did you honestly think I would let you out of my sight so easily?”

The teacher could only gawk in disbelief.

“I was angry, Duo,” he continued in that same quiet tone. “Angry and bewildered at why you couldn’t and wouldn’t stay to help me when I lay dying…damn it! Bleeding for you! I think there were times when I wished I could have let that bullet hit you instead, but…those are all childish thoughts when you look at it.” He smiled ruefully. “You were trying to save my life first, weren’t you? That was why you kissed me then, wasn’t it? You were ready to take that shot at the cost of your life, but I beat you to it.” The smile grew wistful. “I have no regrets, Duo. None at all. I meant what I said on that night and I will gladly do it again if given the chance. Wufei coming to see me only made me realize what I had known all along, Duo and I grew a bit more with that. You have taught me to stand up for myself and to believe in what my heart tells me.”

He took a deep breath. “And since you still have a lot to teach me, I would just like to remind you that your contract hasn’t expired yet, Duo.” His voice now had a slight hint of amusement in it.

The older man blinked in growing confusion, wondering why and how things had suddenly turned out this way. Heero was turning out to be a whole lot more intriguing than he had thought.

“What…what are you talking about?” he asked weakly, not sure if he even wanted to know although he hated to admit that his curiosity was piqued.

Heero reached into the pocket of his jeans and spun around carefully. Just as he had thought, Heero was smiling as he held up a familiar piece of paper to Duo’s gaze. “You signed this three months ago, Duo,” he said firmly but quietly. There was a mischievous glint in the teen’s eyes now and the teacher found himself squirming beneath the safety of the sheets, while struggling not to give in to the steady rise and hardness of a certain piece of flesh below his waist.

Damn his hormones.

“Ah…eh…that…”

“Yes, this. You do know what this is, don’t you?”

Heero was coming closer and Duo swallowed tightly. Stay back, kid. Just stay back. I’m not sure you would like to see what’s growing underneath here…

“Ooh…” he gasped weakly when Heero sat on the edge of the bed and ‘accidentally’ brushed his hand against the obvious bulge beneath the white cotton sheet. Fuck, this isn’t good.

Heero’s smile grew a bit wider. The boy obviously knew he had the older man right where he wanted him and besides, there was no turning back now.

“You signed this and made a promise, Duo,” he whispered softly as he leaned closer to the flustered teacher. “For six months. Six months, Duo, you are to be my tutor, correct?”

The American could barely breathe as his gaze fell to the full, moist lips that moved inches before him. He watched with a low groan of need escaping his throat as Heero made a show of licking his lips, his hand now more than ‘accidentally’ brushing the growing arousal.

“Isn’t that right, Duo?” Heero continued relentlessly as his fingers splayed over the hard flesh to tug it a bit roughly. The teacher caught his lower lip between his teeth and closed his eyes, his breathing becoming harsh and uneven as he struggled to make a coherent sentence.

“Ye…Yes…”

“Were you planning to skip out on me without keeping your promise, Duo? Hmm?” He dropped the paper to the floor and shifted his position. Being careful not to aggravate his leg, he straddled the older man’s waist, while keeping his hand firmly on the hardening length behind him.

Perhaps seduction was the only way to get the older man to listen to him, Heero thought while Duo’s groans became louder as he watched the teacher finally give up the fight to keep his pleasure to himself. He whimpered and shifted again, allowing his own throbbing cock to rub itself against the washboard torso beneath it. Duo arched his neck, his fingers clutching the sheet so tightly, he was sure he would rip a hole through it. He bucked and thrust up frantically with each stroke, knowing his orgasm was bound to come at any moment.

“Answer me, Duo,” Heero growled out softly as his leaned forward to trail hot fiery kisses along the smooth expanse of flesh beneath him. This was no time to give in to his naiveté and shyness. Heero knew that he would have to work twice as hard to show the teacher just how much he needed him. His teeth grazed the sensitive darkened nipples and he was almost thrown off his position as Duo gave a sharp cry of delight.

“Oh, god…Heero…”

“That’s not the answer I want, Duo,” Heero teased mercilessly as his thumb caressed the damp cloth behind him. He could feel Duo’s cum seeping through the sheet as the traitorous flesh had been leaking uncontrollably since his ministrations. He continued to rub the swollen tip, his lips sucking much harder on the sensitive and quite hard nub.

“I…aaah…damn it, Heero…” He couldn’t think. He just couldn’t get himself to find the right answer to whatever question he had been asked. All that mattered to him right now was just how damn good he felt beneath this boy’s hands. “I can’t…hold…”

Heero smirked and released the swollen nipple, leaving a thin silver trail of saliva in its wake. “You can’t do what, Duo?” he asked as his other hand started teasing its neglected companion. “Don’t you remember the contract you signed?”

“Yes, I do, damn it!” came the frustrated cry as darkened but lust-filled violet depths met his in a heated clash. “What do you want from me, Heero?” he asked almost desperately.

The young heir released the swollen cock and shifted backwards, moaning thickly as he began a slow grind of his backside upon it. He closed his eyes, hands reaching for Duo’s as he began to work them both into completion.

“I…want…you…to…keep…your…promise…” came the harsh and breathless words from Heero as he began to grind harder and faster.

It’s not fair, Duo thought wildly as he squeezed his eyes shut and arched up into the mind-blowing sensation. Heero was still dressed. There were clothes and sheets between them, but still…he had not felt anything this good in a long time.

“Promise me, Duo!” Heero cried out feverishly as he felt his entire body tremble in tandem to his erotic movements. He could feel Duo’s cock nudge his ass with each roll of his hips and the need to feel it deep within his body again took precedent. But he had to make Duo understand. He had to get the older man to remain with him for as long as it took.

He opened up his eyes and leaned forward to stare deeply into the piercing amethyst depths. “Say it, Duo,” he begged heatedly. He felt Duo’s cock swell against him. And with a low groan, he wrapped his arm around the older man’s neck to whisper thickly against his lips in need and near desperation. “Say it…please…”

Say it, the teacher thought wildly. Just two little words to seal this and to make everything seem like it would end happily ever after. But there it was, the stubborn lump in this throat that lodged the words deep within it. He couldn’t get himself to say the words, no matter how much Heero was begging him to. He would have to get the boy’s mind off this, if he was to retain any sort of sanity left.

And with a low grunt, he tightened his arms around the boy’s waist and spun them onto their sides. Heero gave a small cry of surprise at the sudden turn of events but was unable to stop the wince of pain that accompanied soon after as his aching leg protested the sharp movement. Duo noticed and remembered what Hikari had said to him at the hospital. Heero’s leg was still in pain.

“Duo,” Heero began weakly even though his eyes had taken on a look of defiance. It was as if he was hoping that Duo would say something about the hurt limb, but instead, he was rendered speechless while watching the older man slide down to unzip his pants in deft and quick movements. Heero couldn’t even open his mouth to complain or protest as he felt the cloth slid down his hips and unceremoniously dumped to the floor. For one shy moment, the teen considered shielding his obviously aroused state from the teacher, but knowing that Duo had seen all of this before had him clenching his fists and watching through hooded eyes at the man before him.

“It hurts, doesn’t it, Heero?” Duo asked thickly as his hands caressed the smooth skin of the teenager’s legs, kneading the taut muscles of his calves and knees gently as his lips hovered teasingly over the almost burning flesh.

Heero bit his lower lip and shook his head rapidly, wishing that Duo would stop his teasing and relieve him of the pressure slowly building in the jutting cock that was practically laying flat against his torso now. He was so hard that it literally hurt and without realizing it, he gave a low whimper of need as he thrust shamelessly towards the teacher.

“I want…aah!” A sharp cry and a buck of his hips had him clenching the sheet in unbridled pleasure as he felt Duo’s fevered kisses along the leg that he once thought to be the death of him. He stuffed a hand into his mouth to stifle his loud cries, but it was taken away quickly.

“Wha…”

“I want to hear you scream for me, Heero,” Duo murmured thickly against the sensitive inner flesh of Heero’s thighs. The heady smell of the boy’s arousal was intoxicating to the teacher and just staring at the thick, pearly drops of his pre-cum was enough to make his aching cock tighten almost painfully.

Heero flushed darkly and did as he was told, his hands reaching down to sink lean fingers into the soft, thick hair below him. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt Duo’s tongue flicker across the tip of his throbbing flesh. He shivered and trembled all over as that talented mouth began a slow and thorough suck on the sensitive skin. He thought he saw stars as Duo’s fingers toyed with his balls. He knew he was probably going to pass out soon as he felt those same fingers tease his puckered entrance. The muscles of his torso clenched and unclenched with increasing pressure. He felt his cock swell impossibly as Duo’s sucking intensified. His fingers fisted the thick locks. His breathing became ragged. A light sheen of sweat broke out on his fevered skin. He was sure to come if Duo did one more thing…

“Aaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!” A loud scream that reverberated and bounced off the walls of the room as the teacher’s fingers had buried itself deep within him. Duo seemed to have found that sweet, sensitive spot all with one fast thrust. Heero continued his loud cries of delight and no longer able to hold back, he exploded hard and thick into the waiting mouth. Duo swallowed every creamy drop as he felt Heero sag limply against the sheets in exhaustion. He released the satisfied cock from his lips leaving a silver trail of cum while licking his lips in content.

But something else needed to be taken care of or he was sure he wouldn’t last another second.

“Heero?” he asked softly as he withdrew his finger from the prepared flesh. The teen opened hazy, lust-filled blue depths to stare into the questioning ones above him. Did Duo even need to ask? He would never be able to refuse him and he made that only too clear as he urged the teacher up a little to seize those soft lips in a slow and thorough kiss. He could taste himself within the older man’s mouth and he flushed and felt himself stir again as he felt Duo’s cock brush against his. The teacher was clearly ready to take him and Heero could hardly wait.

“Yes,” he whispered softly against the swollen lips. “I’m ready, Duo…”

He fell back against the pillows as the teacher smiled warmly at him. He barely registered the dull sounds of Duo reaching for a condom and lubrication as his body still hummed from the pleasure of being given such a mind-numbing blow-job. He gasped softly feeling Duo’s lips trail a fiery path of kisses along his jaw. He felt his shirt pushed a bit higher up his chest and the kisses continue down to his nipples. He cried out as they were captured within Duo’s mouth and suckled like a newborn. Whimpering and mewling with delight, the sudden invasion of something cool and gel-like within his heated hole had him arching off the bed sharply. But there was hardly any time to enjoy Duo’s probing fingers as they were quickly withdrawn again. Crying out in protest, his lover’s talented lips on his silenced him. And powerless to resist, Heero could only respond hungrily, his hands snaking up to hold on tightly to the powerful arms of the older man.

“Open up for me, Heero,” Duo whispered thickly against his lips and again, completely taken over by the sheer intensity of the heat that shrouded them like a cloak, Heero spread his legs a bit wantonly. Although, he still found himself stiffening in readiness for the invasion. Duo noticed and chuckled softly, his lips whispering soft words of reassurance to the trembling boy as he nudged his throbbing flesh against the tight hole.

“Relax for me, Heero. Just…let…go…”

And let go, he did. Heero screamed out in pain at the initial shock of feeling the thick flesh within him. Tears slipped out of his eyes as he held on tightly to Duo for dear life. The teacher held himself in check and waited for the shivering boy to get used to him again. He continued to whisper words of comfort and encouragement to Heero and as he felt the boy slowly relax his tension-filled muscles to be more receptive, Duo wasted no time in picking up the pace again.

Like a choreographed event that had been practiced for years, they moved almost effortlessly, the initial awkwardness and pain settling in for a pleasurable ride that sent them riding higher and higher up a crest of unimaginable ecstasy.

Dear god, Duo thought wildly as he opened up his eyes to stare into the breathtaking visage before him. Had I really thought of giving this up? Did I really think I could do without Heero in my life? Somehow, the thought of losing this boy had now become impossible for him to fathom.

Sweat rolled off their bodies in rivulets, thick locks plastered to their heated skins as they went faster and faster. Neither said a word, except for low grunts and moans of delight at the feel of seeming completion between them. Heero’s eyes remained closed as he dug his fingers into Duo’s forearms. His lips, swollen and inviting, remained parted as he breathed harshly through them. Duo watched in fascination, knowing he wasn’t going to last very long as he felt Heero’s inner walls tighten and hold his swelling cock prisoner with each thrust.

Oh, god. It had never felt this good before.

He felt Heero’s cock twitch and grow between them. His hand reached to stroke it in time to their thrusts, fingertip caressing the cum slicked tip as he urged the boy to come with him. Heero nodded weakly, too far gone to even think as he gave in to the harder pace that Duo had picked up.

He shook his head from one side to the other, his eyes squeezing shut as he felt the incredible surge of heat rush down to the pits of his stomach and towards his cock.

And in flustered and shaky Japanese, Heero gasped out. “Coming…I’m…coming…Duo!”

A quick jerk and a thrust into the stroking hands had Heero spurting for the second time in the space of an hour. He cried out and arched his body off the bed, successfully tightening his inner muscles around Duo and sending the teacher howling with pleasure as he too gave up the fight to hold back.

Together they came, their satisfied yells of completion a hallowed sound within walls that seemed to shake from the intensity of it. Together they collapsed weakly on to the soiled sheet, both trembling uncontrollably as they tried to make sense of what had just transpired between them. Words were not enough. There really was nothing they could say to each other to describe just how good and right it had been this time around.

Now, there was no worry over them being caught and Duo being fired for his transgressions. There were no girls in the background (or at least Heero hoped) that would make them feel guilty about their relationship. Things could only get better from here on out….couldn’t it?

Heero opened up his eyes, trying to focus glazed depths on the ceiling above him. He could feel Duo’s hair tickle his chin and the steady rise and fall of the older man’s chest below him. He wasn’t sure if Duo had fallen asleep yet, but he didn’t really care. Just as long as he could hold him like this for a while longer, that was all that mattered to him. He tightened his arms around the sweaty form and closed his eyes again.

There was no doubt that sexually, they could satisfy each other in more ways than one. Just the very thought of doing this with Duo each and every time was enough to have him stirring again even as he felt Duo’s nearly flaccid cock twitch within him. He flushed darkly and hugged Duo even tighter to his body, eyes slowly taking in the simple room and its furnishings.

Although things looked good now, Heero knew that they still had a long way to go before being fully accepted by others. His mother had seemed to take to the idea of he and Duo being lovers, and he was yet to speak to his father about it. The impending divorce was bound to take a toll on Odin and Heero knew his father long enough to know that talking to him about such a thing as a homosexual relationship was not likely to be taken well at all. He would have to thread cautiously through this. Sighing softly, Heero tried to weigh the other problems they were bound to face.

Since he wasn’t going to be living in the mansion anymore, there really was no reason for Duo to remain here. Heero wasn’t sure if Duo would find himself a better place to live once he was paid, but the thought of the teacher living with him had crossed his mind on more than one occasion. He wasn’t sure if Duo would entertain the idea of living with him at all, but it didn’t hurt to ask.

I am beginning to act possessive, he thought ruefully. Just like Duo was with David, I am acting much the same way. I don’t want him out of my sight, no matter what happens.

Duo’s steady breathing had a small smile flitting across his lips and with a wince, Heero shifted to ease the other man off his body. He felt suddenly bereft as the hot cock slipped out of him. Duo stirred a little and threw an arm across Heero’s chest, effectively holding the boy prisoner. Not that Heero was complaining….but he had left pasta cooking on the stove and the smell that was beginning to waft into the bedroom was quite… alarming.

He turned to stare into the peaceful visage beside him, noticing for the first time that Duo looked completely…happy. It seemed a bit silly to say, but throughout their time together, even at times when Duo had laughed with them, Heero had always detected a sense of sadness behind it each and every time. And now to know that he was the reason for the look of complete satisfaction and serenity on the older man’s face was enough to make the teenager giddy with delight.

Yes, things were bound to become interesting between them in the future. But right now, as he wrapped his arms around the older man to snuggle against him in weary but happy content, Heero realized that he would have to enjoy each and every moment with his teacher for as long as he possibly could.

I might not have won you completely over yet, Duo, but don’t forget that I still have many more lessons to learn from you.

And until you give me a passing grade, I have no intention of letting you go…ever…